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Worried DH isn't going to cope with looking after our kids

(13 Posts)
Tootirednosleep Thu 06-Oct-16 08:13:38

I need you ladies to tell me your experiences of your DH/DP doing childcare while you're at work.

We will be splitting the week so I work 3 days and he works 4 and he'll be looking after our girls the three days.

They will be 2 and 10 months when I go back to work.

My issue is that he has zero patience and a lazy approach. He often needs reminding to do nappy changes and gets annoyed really easily if the girls cry for what he thinks is " no reason". I'm no perfect parent but this morning he got so frustrated when the baby was crying while I was trying to do the laundry and it just struck me that I'm not sure how he's going to manage with the girls for three days in a row.

I don't even want to get started on whether he'll do any housework, our laundry alone is like a full time job and I'm worried I'll end up doing everything after I come in from work :/

Please advise/reassure me?

wobblywonderwoman Thu 06-Oct-16 08:18:27


I think leave him at it.. We do a similar pattern and only this week have a stopped leaving dinners climb filmed in the fridge. Dh had really stepped up. He is doing more than me.

Maybe leave him at it and he might surprise you. The happy thing- tell him every two or three hours

wobblywonderwoman Thu 06-Oct-16 08:18:45

Cling filmed

EdithWeston Thu 06-Oct-16 08:22:37

I'm not a lady, and I'm not sure if there is a specifically ladylike way of going about this one.

I'm of the 'leave him to it' view. Because parenting is one of those things which you really have to learn by doing.

Was your DH doing anything for the baby in the example to described? Was he frustrated by lack of immediate results? Or just disliking the noise but doing nothing?

How has he coped when left in sole charge before?

DorotheaHomeAlone Thu 06-Oct-16 08:24:17

What do you mean by frustrated? What are your actual concerns? Do you think he might lose his temper with them?

Tootirednosleep Thu 06-Oct-16 09:19:58

I mean annoyed by noise but not doing anything and then going "argh DD2!!!"

I'm just worried that he'll be a total train wreck and the kids will eat nothing but weetabix and the baby will cry all day because he's not great at comforting her.

He's pretty good at making them laugh and having fun with them but when he is tired he's just a non functioner.

I'm pretty much going to have to leave him in the deep end and hope he swims aren't I?

camena Thu 06-Oct-16 09:27:17

He'll be ok. He's an adult, he can figure it out. Just leave him to it.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Thu 06-Oct-16 09:39:26

Jobs list!
My dh had never even held a baby when I had ds! I went back to work part time when he was ten weeks (was 5weeks prem so was still tiny) I left a 'to do'list
Ds is now 2 and no disasters. He can run the home nearly just as well as me! I work full time now and he is a sahd! They have a fantastic relationship and ds never cries when I go to work!
Try not to do' reminders 'as such. Just leave the list and leave it at that. Or it may be deemed constant criticism and nit picking! I learned to let some things go - ds in odd outfits and washing not sorted as I would etc! But it really can work!

Tootirednosleep Thu 06-Oct-16 13:02:27

Thanks for the encouragement ladies.

I'm probably being too hard on him since our DD2 is very clingy with me and struggles to settle with him. I nee to let him just learn how to do things his own way and maybe a trial by fire will help him to appreciate how much I do.

Nuggy2013 Thu 06-Oct-16 13:04:49

My DH works away. Four weeks at work and four at home and I had the same fear when I left DD with him and went back to work. Let him get on with it. He won't do things the way you do, he'll parent differently but they have found their own little system/routine and then does work out.

ChairinSage Thu 06-Oct-16 13:07:30

DH and I did split shifts around the children for years. I had to learn to let him do things his way - if he wasn't doing it the way I would, it didn't mean it was wrong. He's now got a great relationship with his teenage daughters so he must have got something right!

RedWineSmile Thu 06-Oct-16 20:54:15

DP does a lot and whilst it isn't necessarily the way I would do it, it is still within the realms of acceptable.
We do different stuff with them - I do tend to multitask a bit more and get stuff done in the house whilst playing, baking with them etc, so its a bit frustrating when I return to a bombsite. However, DP is more keen to get out and about and takes them to the museum, parks etc so they probably have more fun with him than with me!
He has a great relationship with the kids - they both adore him. Good luck - hope it works out well for you guys too.

Hopefully your DH will

RedWineSmile Thu 06-Oct-16 20:55:20

oops, sorry -didn't notice the bit at the end!

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