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He keeps saying she wants to live with him.

(9 Posts)
ktfs Wed 28-Sep-16 06:22:23

short and sweet.my 11yo Dd father says she wants to live with him and his wife (who have recently got back together) quite simply is there a chance they can take her from me? Home- stable relationship, younger sister, both parents working, rules and boundries. There- breaking up, , promises that never happen, no telling offs because she's there on wknds so lots of freedom.
I'm terified she will go. Does it go to court? Will they move her? Yes she gets told off here but it's when she needs to be.

CuddlesAndCupcakes Wed 28-Sep-16 07:08:16

Ktfs flowers

Please don't panic they can not take her from you, you are her mother, the only way the courts would consider giving them custody of her is if you were unfit/unstable mother, and obviously they would need proof of this.

AndShesGone Wed 28-Sep-16 07:13:52

Sorry I have to disagree. She's just on the cusp of the age where they will give most weight to what she wants to do.

There may also be no court if you both have PR. What I mean is if she upped and left and refused to come back (and he has pr too) then it would be on you to try the court process. And I suspect a solicitor might advise you it's not worth going ahead with it because she's 'almost' old enough to decide.

Sorry, it's terribly difficult flowers

ivykaty44 Wed 28-Sep-16 07:18:49

Realistically, DDs father is all for dd coming to live with him - but really is his wife on board with this? Does DDs father work? How would he do the childcare, or would he expect DDs step mother to do all that? ( Maybe she works, I don't know)

I bet he hasn't even talked to his wife about this.

Apart from anything else it would mist likely put a strain on their marriage....

BigFatTent Wed 28-Sep-16 07:30:25

As PP said the court may listen to what DD wants, but you haven't said what she wants. What he wants is far less relevant and they will only change the set up if it works for your DD. It's very difficult if your ex is manipulating her (is he?) and I can understand why it's terrifying for you.

BigFatTent Wed 28-Sep-16 07:31:46

Sorry just re-read your post. Is he or she pushing for this, or both?

PotteringAlong Wed 28-Sep-16 07:32:17

What does your DD want? What you want and what he want is not the most important thing here.

QforCucumber Wed 28-Sep-16 07:34:34

Have you asked her what she wants to do?

ktfs Wed 28-Sep-16 11:47:30

She doesn't get told off at his house- has no chores - and has an older step sister to play with. So as a typical 11 yr old girl yes of corse she wants to every time she comes across a bump at home. He doesn't work and has always fed her brain that it would be better with daddy because she has a 'terrible life' at home.

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