DS not eating and resultant stress

[Houseconfusion]

First off, I've read the book My Child Won't Eat, and have tried my best to let things be.

But can someone help me with understanding this please? Our DS who's just 11 months old, is very thin, has stayed the same weight between 8-11 months extremely active and all his clothes are massively loose on him. He's visibly thin beside all others his age.

I appreciate how centiles work, and that he is a 9th centile baby. Fine. This is how our days go -

6:30 am: he wakes up and has about 7 oz of milk. He is still sleepy but won't sleep.
6:45 till 8 am: he plays
8-9 am: I sit with him and I eat. A variety of things are on offer - toast, cheese, yoghurt, fruit, porridge. I've also offered avocado, pancakes, buttered bread and soft cheese. Everything is refused. Things he can eat himself are flung to the dog. If I so much as take a spoon to his mouth he blows very loud raspberries and rubs his eyes and refuses it.
Between 8-930 he starts whining and is shattered. He refuses to sleep. The whining eventually escapes to him going crazy with crying.
9:30 I pack our things to take him to the childminder. He falls asleep in the car seat only to be awoken when not ready as we have arrived at childminder.

He has variable length days with childminder. When at hers I hear he's usually refused various items of food. He gets a packed lunch from home which is a small pot of our dinner from last night I.e. Chicken curry and rice or chilli or whatever. He usually eats half of that. A pot of plain yoghurt which he eats with her. And a 7 oz bottle after that, he also eats breadsticks fruit and veg sticks with her I'm told.

5-6 pm: pick up and come home. We all sit down at the table for dinner. Everything is refused. Yesterday was fish cakes mashed potato and salad. Nothing was touched. Not fed himself. Not allowed spoon feeding. Night before we had a slow cooker beef curry. If it's spicy savoury food like this he will lick the sauce but that's it. All food refused. Fruits. Avocado. Yoghurt. Salmon. Cream cheese. Bread.

Bed with a 7 oz bottle.

So he is now spending his days on 21 oz milk a day plus various bits of cucumbers and a few spoons of yoghurt.

Other context: He has no teeth. Has been struggling with teething for the last six months. He was breastfed till about around 9 months. He has always struggled along the 9th centile line.

I am very very disheartened at it all. We aren't precious about food. If we have ice cream or chips he gets what we eat basically. Nothing appeals. It's so so so disheartening and he cannot possibly be getting enough calories. Any thoughts?

[Poocatcherchampion]

You are not going to like what I say but you need to calm down about it. He will either eat or not but you stressing about it is not going to make him eat more.

Also maybe an earlier breakfast and then a nap at 8?

For context my 9 centile 8mo is nearly 11mo now and at his weigh in yesterday hr has moved to the 50th.we just offered an afternoon snack and always a pudding of some type - but I think it is that he just got the hang of it

Your post oozes stress and annoyance. If he eats a bit of his lunch and some snacks that seems fine to me.

[Houseconfusion]

Thank you both. Poocatcher you have a point about stress - but perhaps the point could have been made differently. Then again we all have different writing styles I suppose! And no I'm not annoyed. Disheartened sometimes as I'm sure many parents are if kids don't eat much, but not annoyed, he's done absolutely nothing to be annoyed about. He's a little cherub :) thanks will keep offering and see how it goes.