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Too much of a perfectionist to be a mother

(2 Posts)
StepfauxWife Sun 28-Aug-16 22:14:44

How do I keep this in check?!

I now have two beautiful DDs and am on my second maternity leave. I'm struggling to keep in check my desire to strive for perfection. I know I'm a perfectionist. I have a professional job where I'm used to being in control. Without sounding like a knob, I'm quite successful at it.

I'm finding myself frustrated and concerned by certain tiny things. For example, I worry if I think DD1 has watched too much tv one day, or not eaten healthily enough, or not had enough exercise or fresh air, or if I've not organised a fun enough activity.

I can feel myself wanting to comment if DH does something in a certain way or the choices he makes. He has picked up on it and it quite understandably makes him feel like he falls short.

I feel as if I have ridiculously high expectations of myself as a mother. I had a difficult childhood and am so conscious that I want to give my children a secure, balanced and positive experience. But I want this so much that I think I'm setting myself up to fall.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you keep it in check?

chloechloe Mon 29-Aug-16 13:22:51

I'm similar myself, but possibly not as extreme if I may say so - largely because I've realised that there just aren't enough hours in the day with children in the mix!

Try not to set your daily expectations of yourself too high. Would it help to look at what you've achieved over the course of the week instead? I used to drive myself crazy wondering if DD had eaten enough veg that day etc etc but as long as there's a good balance in diet, fresh air, activities etc over the course of the week you're doing great!

And you need to accept that men will rarely have the same standards. I get wound up as DH can happily sit amongst untidied toys and clothes when DD is in bed. But he can make DD laugh louder than anyone else so I let it slide! He prioritises having fun with her whilst I get too distracted by making sure we don't live in a pig sty!

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