Hi, I know this issue has been raised by others in the past but I really need some outside perspective of my daughters situation. I'm completely at a loss!
Our family is what we call "blended" I have my daughter 5, a one year old with my husband (not dd 5 dad) and a stepdaughter 8. Sounds a bit complicated but it all works and everyone is happy. Until a week or so ago..
My dd 5 went on holiday with her grandad (my dad) for 7 nights. We all then flew out for 10 nights so she was away for a total on 17 nights. She's been away from her dad before and Sees him every other weekend so is used to breaks in contact. We facetimed dd dad when we were away but she wasn't interested.
Before we went away she had no problem seeing him, staying at his for up to three nights some occasions but since we have been home she won't even go to his house for an afternoon and he's supposed to have had her a fair bit with it being summer holidays.
Me and her dad - my ex - get on ok. We have a good level of communication etc so no problems there.
It's got to the point now after this week that her dad doesn't want to have her as he can't cope with her behaviour and He had said it is really painful and upsetting to be repeatedly rejected by her. She will just sulk or scream and cry for me and refuse to go out to do ANYTHING she used to do with him( when we do get her to him) until she is brought home to me.
I don't agree with him on refusing to see her, I find it frustrating whilst I understand it's hurtful I can't explain anymore that's she only 5 and doesn't mean it! I feel his behaviour is slightly childish (Eg. she has said I don't want to see you and he's said he doesn't want her cause she's been horrible- he's in his 30's!!!), I do understand he is hurt but I don't want him to not want to see her either. He lives with his mum and are quite a reclusive family so from what we can gather from her she's just really bored when she's there and all they seem to do is go toy shopping which the novelty of that seems to have worn off.
I would make her go to school if she refused, I completely agree with carrying on contact but her dad is at a point where he doesn't want to have her if she doesn't want to be there.
I don't know whether to take her to the dr to speak to someone or just keep her home and hope it passes.
I've tried talking to her but she's 5. I get no actual answers from her. All I can gather is she wants to be with me and misses her family at home. I'm hoping it will resolve and that she just got used to being with us on holiday but I feel awful this has happened and feel like it was my fault for taking her away for too long even though I kept them in contact. She wasn't upset once when we were away, in fact she cried coming home as she didn't want to leave.
Does anyone have any advice or just anything to help me here? She's supposed to be with him tomorrow while I'm at work and is already refusing, and it's his weekend this weekend.
Thanks for reading.
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Parenting
5yr old daughter refusing to see her daddy
3 replies
VV86 · 23/08/2016 21:12
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