Struggling

[lilwelshyrs]

I have a gorgeous 9mo DS.
But I'm really finding it hard right now.

He is teething really badly and maybe going through some seperational anxiety or something. It makes cooking, going to the toilet, walking around him really hard. He screams at me. All day. All day. I can't take it. It is destroying me. It's not crying its proper screams.

Please don't tell me to suck it up or it'll pass... I literally can't do it.
DH away all week. No family nearby. No friends I can call on. I am so alone.
I accidentally set fire to dinner this evening. He screamed at me more and more and then flames! I was so scared and so angry. I have no idea what to do if I have a kitchen fire. The frying pan had flames that went up and above the fucking extractor hood

DH came home early (thank fuck) and is cooking dinner for tomorrow night and prepping lunch for tomorrow and cleaning up the carnage in the kitchen.

DS seems to want to nap more, suddenly, too. Each time he wakes up he seems to be miserable. If I'm not holding his hands and walking round the house he's miserable.

What can I do? I know it'll pass but I'm so fed up and feel so guilty for feeling so bloody angry.

[SpeakNoWords]

So, first of all, order a fire blanket from Amazon in case of another kitchen fire. You just drop it over the pan and it smothers the flames.

Then, I would suggest taking him to the GP as screaming all day sounds like he could be in pain. Does he seem less screamy if you give him pain relief for the teething?

Are you finding it possible to get out of the house? To any baby group that appeals to you, just for some adult contact and a change of scene?

Do you have any kind of baby carrier/sling? Might be worth trying if you haven't got on already.

[lilwelshyrs]

Thank you for replying, Speak. The fire blanket sounds so obvious now you've said it but I wouldn't have thought of it (clearly).

GP drop in tomorrow - will call first thing. Was thinking I would give it a try anyway as so not like him. Possibly cutting his first tooth. He didn't get better earlier when I gave him calpol - still miserable despite it :-/ but he does clutch both ears a lot. Was wondering if that was teething but as he did it so much today, was planning on GP tomorrow.

I get out of the house first thing to go and visit my horse usually. All my socialising is there. I have been shit with baby groups - have found them really hard work and really knock my confidence.

I do wear him in the sling but mostly for being out and about. I had him in the sling whilst cooking the other day to keep him quiet but that didn't last long either. So glad I didn't have him in the sling today. When I had him in the sling the other day, I wasn't using the hob/frying anything! No naked flames near him!!

I think I need a change of scene during the day... But not sure what to do. When DH is home, we tend to spend the morning at the yard all together and then home, lunch, nap, play, dinner. When I'm home alone, I don't get to ride so we have a lot more time spent at home.
Tomorrow I have to go into town to pay a cheque in so perhaps I'll go to the library or something.

[LuckySantangelo1]

Hi op. When my Ds was first teething I found the only thing that helped (apart from ibuprofen & anbesol) was to put him in the carrier and just walk with him. I would go miles. That way he napped & I got some respite from the crying. I also lost a few pounds! It does get better. The first teeth are the hardest ones.

[lilwelshyrs]

Docs can't find any problems so I guess it's just teething. I feel stupid that I'm finding coping with teething so hard! Off out to get teething gel and wine and chocolate. He's asleep in my sling at least.
Thanks for replies x

[Coconut0il]

DS1 was a content baby, happy to stay in the house and do whatever I wanted to do. I didn't go to any baby groups.

DS2 is lovely but I find him pretty grumpy and demanding a lot of the time. He doesn't cry but he does moan a lot and is very demanding if we stay in. I think he gets bored. I force myself to get out the house with him every day. If he's out and about with things to look at/do he's like a different child.
He likes to go round Tesco in the trolley, take a ball and some toys to the park field, go to the library, baby groups ( we go to one during term time that's only £1 and I get 2 hot drinks!), soft play. Today I've walked him to the local pub and sat out and had half a shandy. We just have to get out for a bit.

[Mumto2uk]

Have you tried teething granuals? Really helps my little one x

[lilwelshyrs]

Definitely need to get out more - you're very right. I find it really hard to when exhausted and i get a bit stuck in a rut when he's screaming and my aim is to stop the screaming but going out doesn't cross my mind. I will have to remember for next time.

Hubby has been home all day today so that's helped loads.

Have made sure DS has calpol, teething gel and teething granules throughout the day. Fingers crossed for tonight.

[Coconut0il]

Fingers crossed for you OP.

I do sometimes find it hard to get out when DS2 is in a moany mood and I don't always really want to go out! I try to always have his bag packed and his pushchair nearby. Even popping to the local shop for milk seems to break his mood sometimes.

[GrassW1dow]

I had very little help too OP. e.g. DH has never changed a nappy.

Going out was the only way I could find not to fall asleep "on the job". And another 'let out' was shouting and ranting at my poor mum on the phone...because she is in France and looking after her elderly and frail DF and couldn't therefore give me any help.

[lilwelshyrs]

Oh Grass, that's really shit that your DP didn't change any nappies.
My mum's been a saviour too. Listening to DS screaming whilst she spoke to me on the phone to keep me calm.

Today has been good. This afternoon has been tricky as he got miserable so went to take him out and it just pissed it down, so we chilled out in bed together and he was silly and wriggly and hilarious and fed LOADS and we're now back downstairs and he's pushing himself around on his belly going backwards...!
Had a looooong chat with a LLL Leader re night feeds and sleep etc which has helped me loads - if anything it's reassured me that what I'm doing is just fine :)