When's The Best Time To Get Pregnant Again?

[Autumn78]

My baby is 4 months old and I'm thinking of TTC again next summer (2008), so Kai will be about 2 or 3 when the next one would come along.

But out of interest, I wanted to know did your second or subsequent pregnancies come along?

Or if you?re still on your first, when or if you will start trying for baby number 2?

Or and when do you think is the best time to try for number 2 or and subsequence pregnancies?

To get things started, some people have told me it?s best to get all the sleepless nights out of the way and have all the babies close together. Whilst others have said get the first one out of nappies first or wait until they can dress themselves.

All comments appreciated. Thanks!

[DetentionGrrrl]

i'm wanting to start trying for No2 now, but waiting for my period to come back after stopping b/feeding at New Year. DS is 7mths old.

We've thought about it, and i want to get all the nappies/lack of sleep etc out of the way, so in 3 or 4 years time we can have family holidays together etc and chill out a bit (as opposed to getting used to sleep etc and then starting over again with a new baby!)

[Jackie2kids]

We aimed for 2yr gap as deliberately wanted them close in age. Nearly had 16mnth gap as scored strait away (supposidly more fertile initially) but sadly miscarried at 12 weeks. Got pgnt imediately again and ended up with 20mnth gap. Another friend aimed for 3yr gap and failed to concieve, then miscarried and ended up with 5yr gap so you can't really plan too specifically. 20mnths was hard work for first yr its like having 2 babies but with different routines, but its great now as they are 3.6 and 22mnths and play happily together (mostly), no real jealousy as DS can't remember DD not being there. As for waiting til they sleep through. Still waiting for either of mine to sleep through! J

[dueat44]

When you're having sex ...

[Autumn78]

Great comments!! Keep them coming.

[notsolilKel]

Hiya

I've got a 11mo DS and am expecting DD in 4mo, so a 15mo gap. I know it will be hard work for the first year, but tell me, when is it ever 'easy' work??? Seriously it's what we wanted.

DS was about 4mo when I was well rested enough and infatuated with him to start TTC. I really realised how much I wanted another when the first couple of months came up negative...it only took 3 months though (with help from charting).

Whatever gap you go for, go with your gut. Some people want space, I wanted siblings closer in age.

My one piece of advice is, aim to give birth in the late spring. It's good for your recovery to get out & walk and the kid is a bit bigger when winter comes & gets all the sicknesses...

[compo]

We originaly wanted to have a 3 year gap as I had heard it would be easier.
However I got broody when ds was two so started trying that year and we now have a 2 and a half year gap.
Ds is now nearly 3 and dd is 5 months and ds loves her to bits

[Autumn78]

Great answers ladies, some funny and some heart felt. Thanks!! :-)

Well I got my first AF since conceiving and giving birth to my first (sorry TMI). So things could happen at any time (provided I put down the stick and let DH come near me)LOL

[alipiggie]

Decided on 2 close together if possible. Took 4yrs ttc for ds1 and 8mnths after his arrival ds1 was coming along so 17mnths between my two. Was blooming hard work but now it's a breeze. They are best pals and do everything together - including fight . Whatever feels right for you and your situation is good.

[LittleMonkiesMum]

14 / 15 month age gap is ace. DC1 too young to feel jealous, and hopefully also sleeping through. Nappies not that much of a nightmare, although I do forget to change DC1's when we go out so she gets wet through much more often . DC1 thinks we have just given her a great present, and never tires of kissing and stroking her little sister, it's brilliant!

[tubbytoes]

We have 3 DCs. A 22 month age gap between dd1 and ds. Then when they were 7 and 5 I had dd2. Right- you asked for total honesty. The gap between 2 and 3 is too big.I would strongly recommend having your DCs close together. They will be company for eachother, and i found jealousy less of an issue. Personally i didn't think the sleep/nappies thing was a big issue. If one is in nappies, another lot of nappies doesn't seem to make a huge difference. I decided to go for dd2 partly, if I'm honest because with the first two going to school, i just wanted one more baby - it meant i could put off the moving on to that next phase of my life i guess. Selfish maybe. The first couple of years with dd2 were lovely - snuggling a baby again, and then going to mother and baby groups. But my kids are now 11, 9 and 4, and being perfectly truthful there are a lot of times when what we can do as a family is restricted by dd2. The older ones have quite separate interests, and i worry that it'll get even harder when they are in their teens and dd2 is still at the primary school phase. She tends to get left out because they don't want to play her games/watch CBeebies etc and then DH and i probably spoil her in some ways because of this, which the older two resent. And of course, dd2 is now 4 so starting school anyway soon and I'm going to have to sort out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life - I can't put if off forever. It goes without saying, all our children are loved to bits, but looking back, I wish we'd gone for number 3 a lot earlier so that all 3 would be close in age. Some people may have a different view, but I thought it helpful to be really honest.

[lovelymoo]

I have 18mths between mine and love it DD1 is 3 DD2 is nearly 2 and i'm thinking about trying for DD3 soon. Got holidays planned this year so after that.
It depends on you and how your children are mine are really good great at sleeping etc from early on so felt ready for another. some friends have bigger gaps as it worked for them but i always wanted them close together.

[nogoes]

We are planning on TTC this summer when ds is 2.10 so hopefully will have about a 3.9 age gap between them. Ideally I would have liked a 3 year gap but I have found motherhood and managing finances harder than I thought, now things are getting easier but I am enjoying the time with ds so much at the moment that I don't want to share my time yet.

It is a personal choice, personally I look at people with small age gaps and I think they must be mad! But it seems to suit most people.

[Miaou]

It's such a personal decision, only you (and partner) can make it! But fwiw, here's my experience: I had dd2 17months after dd1, and it was brilliant - really hard work for the first year or so, but after that it has been so easy. I am lucky, despite being very different they get on very well, and do lots together. So yes, I did the nappies and sleepless nights in one go.

Then when dds were 6 and 8, I got pg with ds (now 18m) and am expecting no. 4 just before ds is 2. So I have done big gaps and small gaps! It has worked well for us, as the older two have their own lives and weren't jealous of ds; on the contrary, they love playing with him and are old enough to help out too. I am hoping that no.4 will be a playmate for ds in the same way that dd1 and dd2 are (but obviously a lot of that is down to personality)

The only thing I would say is that I wouldn't recommend 3 years as an age gap - I only know one friend who hasn't encountered real problems with jealousy etc. At three years they are old enough to feel usurped but too young to see the good points (IMO!)