What to do when other child hurts yours...

[HildegardVonBrixham]

Today we were all at a playground and my DD who is three and a half was peering into a window of a play house and, I think, doing pretend ice cream buying with another girl. I was a little way off and I suddenly heard a cry and saw my OH dash to the door of the house and he seemed to be helping up a slightly older boy, as if the boy had been injured. A few seconds later OH was carrying my now sobbing DD ov r to me and explaining that the boy had thrown sand in her eyes. My daughter was covered in it and screaming with pain with her eyes tightly shut. I raced to the toilets with her to wash it all off. It was obviously very painful in her eyes but we managed to wash it out and then gradually DD cheered up with the help of a small treat.

It turns out that my OH had not actually witnessed the boy injuring himself but had seen him throw sand at our DD and saw him pick up another handful to do it again. OH had dashed and grabbed the boy inside the play house to stop him, and in doing so, the boy fell over and bumped himself and started to cry. I only realised this after the drama was over, after I had taken my DD to find water. My OH explained to me what had happened.

Now I am in a quandary about this. I too would have wanted to prevent another fist of sand being thrown at DD but I wonder if I'd have quickly moved her out of the line of fire, rather than try and to stop the aggressor. I would not have grabbed the boy or touched him, I don't think. But I can see that OH's instinct was to stop him hurting DD. I don't know if the parents of the boy saw what happened because I was rushing DD to the bathroom. At that point it was time to go home and cheer her up and carry her back to the car. I am sure the boy wasn't really hurt as between going to the toilet and leaving the place, someone - a parent - would have had time to come after us surely. I suspect, however, it is totally against the law to grab a child, whatever the circumstances, especially if by grabbing you cause him to fall over.

There is more to this which increases my unease. OH was arrested for assaulting me a year ago, and cautioned. He has NEVER been aggressive to our DD and never gets angry with her. I have never seen him show aggression to any child. And I realise that mentioning my own assault will immediately prejudice most of you against him automatically but that may be a red herring here. I suppose, aware of his and my history, I am very sensitive to any burst of anger or display of physicality. But maybe what he did is what most parents would do, unthinkingly, to protect their own child. And maybe I am just over thinking this.

Thoughts please.

H