My DD is 4 and we're struggling to know how to deal with the way she is around people she's unfamiliar with. In fact it's pretty much everyone aside from immediate family - some she'll warm to eventually, but others she'll completely blank. She's been in pre-school for 3 terms now, and she still won't say hello or goodbye to any of the teachers or her friends at drop off or pick up (although they say she's coming out of her shell while she's there). She basically totally ignores anyone who speaks to her when we're out. If she responds to anything they're asking, she'll do it via us (e.g. someone will ask if she's ok and she'll nod at me, not them). Recently she's started making strange baby-like noises (inspired by her baby brother no doubt) instead of speaking, and we're always being asked if she actually talks. But at home, she's very articulate! She's always the one clinging on to my leg at birthday parties etc., although that has got a bit better recently, but I just don't know how we should be dealing with her ignoring people. She will say that she's shy, but I don't know how much of that is due to the not very helpful types who say 'oh, you're shy aren't you!'. To me it seems a bit more wilful - almost like that's just what she does. I'll often see her trying to catch the eye of complete strangers when we're out. She also took part in a nursery assembly where she had a line to say in front of 40 odd people and didn't seem phased by it!
Should we be leaving her to it? I know she's still only little and if she is genuinely shy then we can't force her to change. Or should we be trying to get her to at least do the basics? Hello, goodbye, yes please, no thanks etc.? She's a bright girl and I think she must have some understanding of the need to be polite. She will sometimes say, unprompted, 'today I'm going to speak to X and tell her about y' and then when we get there it's back to strange noises.
I feel like we're not dealing with it well at the moment as we sometimes get annoyed by it. Not great parenting I know. But we're both pretty confident in social situations so we're struggling to know how best to deal with it. Is anyone else the parent of a shy/awkward type who could offer us some advice please?
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Can anyone give me some advice for my 'shy' DD?
22 replies
Playitagainsam · 24/07/2016 21:19
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