Refusing bed/sleep

[Anxiousone30]

Anyone have any tips for a 3 year old that refuses sleep and even get into bed? It has become a battle of wills. We are calm, have a routine.. Bath, story, song. Bedtime used to be around 8 at the latest. Never 100% straightforward but I would stay with DD until she fell asleep (usually not that long). Lately it's taking until around 10pm!! I've even put a child gate on the bedroom door to keep her in there (I used to be totally against this). Screaming tantrums still ensue regardless and it seems to have had little or no effect. The tantrums are a new thing. They are on a whole new level. She's otherwise a very happy, bright little girl. Help!!

[Anxiousone30]

How do I move this to another forum? New to this. Thanks.

[KatyN]

Is she napping during the day? She might be completely exhausted??
Things I would try:
1- calmly explaining during th day that big girls need to sleep at night to go to bed, really focus on how grown up she is
2 a maybe a bribe if she goes to bed calmly every night for a week, then a bigger present once she does 5 nights in a row.
3- make bedtime really dull. Do not stay with her, do not engage in the tantrums (this might be a bit harsh?)
4- story tapes on when she goes to bed? My 4.5 year old has a story on if he's not tired. He can potter around his bedroom listening but then gets into be when he's tired
5- hype up her bed, maybe a new duvet cover and new teddy. Explain that they are to help her go to sleep. I've seen sprays that you can pretend are sleeping spray (water in a spray bottle). Make bedtime a bit magic

Of course I wouldn't do all these but try one for a fortnight and see how she gets on. I would also look at what time she gets up and how much sleep she is having during the day, it might be that she's over tired by bedtime, which is a horrible viscous circle to get into. When my son was 3 he got up at 6:30 and went to bed by 7. No naps during the day. Not always exhausted come bedtime but lying in bed awake is quite a skill to learn.

I also really hope you aren't in the UK as putting her to bed at 10 and mums netting at 4am isn't ideal.

Good luck, Kx

[Anxiousone30]

Thank you Katy N. No I'm not there currently!

No naps in the day, they were given up a long time ago. She would normally sleep around 12 hours a night. I have been aiming for 8pm bedtime recently, but the getting up and shouting etc has been going on until about 10pm!! Tonight went a lot better. Not sure if it was a fluke or if it's finally working.

I've tried the duvet and reward chart. Works sometimes, not others. The magic spray sounds like a good idea, I haven't tried anything like that. She loves anything magical!

Ignoring is difficult, especially when she is upset. I think it's a case of having to though, as I need to stop this now, before it becomes a habit.