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Parenting

My baby group is some sort of Cult!!

12 replies

CatsRA55H0les · 06/07/2016 11:43

I attended this baby group for the first time with babies ranging from new born to 9 months with the majority being between 4-6 months. There was this one lady, not the group lady that was sat talking about all stuff baby as you do but more than half the group sat around her absorbing every word she was spewing like they were in awe of this lady. I thought it was a bit strange as from what I was hearing was utter nonsense. As the group progressed and some people left, I found myself sat listening to this lady. She and I both had the oldest babies in the group being 9 months. She said to everyone, "When your babies are ready to drink don't bother even trying them on water. NO baby will ever drink water on it's own. If you give them squash or fruit juice your baby will be a very happy baby." And everyone around her nodded their heads and smiled agreeing to this. I piped up and said, "Some babies love water. Besides milk, it's the only thing my LO will drink thankfully." looking at my LO while he was happily sitting demonstrating his love of water by drinking out of his clear sippy cup. Her face changed from happy smiley lady to furious demon as you could see the red building up in her head and her jaw clinching as she spat while looking around the room and avoiding eye contact with me, "That lady obviously used clear juice in that beaker as NO baby will drink water. It's just not what babies do! Remember that!" Queue disgusted looks from everyone as they just stared at me in disbelief that I dared to contradict what this all magical know it all lady had just said because obviously she was 100 percent right and I was lying my face off about f$kng water!!! So I stood up shouting probably some incoherent crap about them being some sort for freak baby cult and that all their baby's teeth will rot before they even have the chance to cut through etc. And then the mysterious group leader appeared (who has been watching in the corner) and asked me to leave and not return as I was been inappropriate and making others feel nervous and threatened and possibly like bad mothers!!! I walked out in disbelief and utter shock as I've been to many many baby groups and never had or seen anything like this occur. I can't believe I just got kicked out of a baby group because my LO likes pure, natural, simple, plain and essential water!!! Yes I understand it was because I kind of shouted at everyone pretty much calling them stupid....but honestly! Have any of you been asked not to return to a baby group for something this daft? Or seen this weird cult like behaviour in baby groups?

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MrsJoeyMaynard · 06/07/2016 11:51

Yeah, I think you were kicked out because of the shouting. That's threatening and intimidating behaviour, and I'd be wary of anyone who'd behaved like that over an argument at a baby group about whether babies like water.

FWIW, I agree that many babies are perfectly happy to drink water.

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BikeRunSki · 06/07/2016 11:58

AlphaMums are indeed witches. Always right, never wrong, only nine way to do anything and that's their way. Their children are all special snowflakes and outstandingly talented in many fields.

There's one in every class.

My babies quite happily drank water. I also agree that you were kicked out because of the shouting. Sounds like you're better off out of there. Now you've crossed AlphaWitch you'll never be welcome again.

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Toofondofcake · 06/07/2016 12:04

Yeah sounds like mistress know it all and her followers were a tad wierd but I think that some baby groups are quite insular and one experienced mam can seem like a guru to inexperienced mams.

Wierd but true there's been a few groups that I've gone to once and thought nope never going there again they put something in the tea!

I find that "baby sensory" groups are sometimes a bit like this because everyone is so super keen on their baby developing in a certain way at a certain rate. Obviously I'm not labelling baby sensory as a cult though as a disclaimer.

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Toofondofcake · 06/07/2016 12:05

BTW my toddler loves water and her GPs get wierd when I say don't give her juice because she's happy with water. They think I'm strict but I just cba with her demanding juice when we're out and about fruit shoots cost a frigging fortune.

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CatsRA55H0les · 06/07/2016 12:14

Lol MrsJoey and BikeRunSki I totally got kicked out because of the shouting. I would of kicked me out too if that was my class. haha I'm the least confrontational person ever and usually just run away if someone says something mean to me but it was the fact that she didn't even say anything to me and addressed her followers that I had obviously been telling a fib in the class for some weird reason and that everyone believed her. My family and friends were a bit shocked at how mad I got too. Lol! Whoops!! I also don't really care what and how you feed your babies as it's none of my business so long as no ones being harmed etc etc. Most groups I've attended have know it alls and so on but the majority of people are down to earth even if we all have different views on things. It's never turned to an argument or me shouting. Ah well....definitely
won't be returning there ever again!

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Atlas15 · 06/07/2016 12:14

I stopped going to baby groups for reasons like this. It's like if you don't buy the same high chair or brand of nappies as everyone else then you are wrong.

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CatsRA55H0les · 06/07/2016 12:19

TooFondOfCake that's awful of your GP!!! At least you LO's dentist will LOVE you :)

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Toofondofcake · 06/07/2016 12:25

Well it would help if she'd brush her teeth she just sucks the toothbrush and thinks it's hilarious. She's had all her teeth since 14 months so brushing them has been dangerous... Those teeth are sharp!

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CherryPicking · 06/07/2016 12:25

If you've been to many baby groups you'll know that shouting is definitely not on. I would have just continued to argue my case quietly, or ignored the know it all.

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CatsRA55H0les · 06/07/2016 13:28

Cherrypicking I wasn't asking what I should of done differently as I'm well aware I was in the wrong. I had just not come across this weird (in my opinion) setting before and we go to baby groups 4 times a week...mostly to the same one but do try out new ones a couple times a month as I like to see what's out there as there's plenty. I normally am the quiet one that runs from confrontation but it was so passive aggressive and her whole demeanour changed that I couldn't keep quiet anymore. And you can't argue with people who know it all as their opinion is always right. Anyways back to the point.... I was mealy asking if people have experienced similar situations.

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GoldPlatedBacon · 06/07/2016 15:57

Agree it was the shouting that got you kicked out! To add my tidbit there was a group I use to attend and two mothers would hold court. It was very bizarre how almost everyone swarmed around them and listened to their gurus spout nonsense advice. I ended up becoming friends with another outsider and we concluded that some people just don't have faith in their parenting decisions so they seek to persuade others to do the same as them, that way when someone questions why they have dome something against the norm, such as introducing solids at 4 months instead of saying 'i think it's best for my son' they can say 'everyone I know introduced solids at 4 months '.

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CatsRA55H0les · 06/07/2016 16:42

Haha GoldPlatedBacon how entertaining that must of been :) Although tiring at the same time! lol! And your conclusion sounds spot on.

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