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bad mum

(4 Posts)
user5512343212 Thu 12-May-16 22:16:29

Sorry for the rant, just wanted somewhere I could let it all out. I feel like such an awful mum, after a stressful week at work and little sleep I have finally snapped tonight.
I am pretty much a single mum to two Dds I pretty much do everything for them. Their dad is in the picture but is inconsistent and it's always when it suits him. He hardly helps out finically and has been finically abusive. If something doesn't suit him or if he doesn't get his own way refuses to help out. I have now go to the point where I don't rely on him at all and make sure I can do everything myself.
The problem is my girls adore him and I wouldn't say a bad word about him to them. He turned up out of the blue tonight, was emotionally abusive and once again my girls just follow everything he says. For example if I ask them to do something or help out he will tell them not to and they listen to him. I don't want to put them in a position where they feel they have to choose. He always tells them what an awful mum I am, although I do my best. It got to the point where I had to just walk out as I could no longer bare it, I know I have upset both my Dds and feel awful, and feel like I have just proved that he is right.
I just don't know where to go from here anymore.

whatdoIget Fri 13-May-16 06:02:46

You start by setting boundaries. If he wants to see them, you can devise a contact schedule. He doesn't get to just turn up unexpectedly and he doesn't get to come in your home and abuse you.
And it wasn't you that upset the dds, it was him who caused the upset.

whatdoIget Fri 13-May-16 06:05:11

How ironic that he's telling them that you're a bad parent when it's actually him that clearly couldn't care less about them and is only interested in using them as pawns I his game of getting at you. What a horrible twat he sounds angry

DeadGood Fri 13-May-16 06:43:27

You are not a bad mum. You are doing a great job under difficult circumstances. Other posters will have (and have already given) good advice but please know that you are doing so well. Xx

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