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3.5yo DS is so wild/noisy/daft/boisterous

(23 Posts)
BotBotticelli Mon 09-May-16 09:57:48

Is this normal? Is it a phase? (Please god tell me it's a phase he will grow out of, he is driving me mad).

What should I do? How strict should I be? I try to always punish extreme bad behaviour (hitting, kicking, hurting his baby brother, answering back etc) with removal of a star from his chart or time out for any violence. But aside from these things I seem to spend the whole day saying "DS DONT do that. Stop it. Don't do that" over and over and over again.

Spent the weekend with my friend who has a very calm, placid, well behaved little girl of the same age which has just made me feel dreadful, like we are missing some sort of parenting trick which if we discovered it we too could have a lovely calm happy life instead of a life full of nagging and shouting, and boisterous silliness 😫

Examples of his constant annoying behaviour are:

- making daft silly noises all the time. Mooing, yelling, shrieking for no reason, singing in a loud annoying voice even at the table despite frequently being asked/told not to.

- running everywhere...wanting to run and jump about all the time even in the supermarket and other places where it's not socially acceptable. And in places where it's not safe (car parks....although he is better with this and will walk normally when reminded that a car might hurt him. But in a shopping centre when there's no danger he just doesn't see why he should walk nicely and doesn't seem capable of it!).

- answering back like a stroppy teenager.

- pulling horrible faces at me and roaring like a deranged dinosaur at my when I ask him to do something he doesn't wanna do (get dressed or try for a wee before we go out are real flash points for this horrible behaviour).

Does anyone else have a 3yo like this?? I feel so alone amongst my friends with their calm, pliant, shy, cautious children of the same age.

<<feel like I should also say DS does also have some wonderful characteristics - he loves looking at books with me, is fascinated about the world, asks questions about space, the planets, dinosaurs endlessly, loves hunting for bugs in the garden and tells me he loves me "bigger than the solar system" which makes me so happy....but in between these nuggets of wonder are 12 hours every day of fucking nonsense that is driving me potty>>

happyis Mon 09-May-16 10:00:46

Sounds like you have a perfectly normal little boy to me!

Gizlotsmum Mon 09-May-16 10:03:46

My 4.5 yr old is still going through this phase. I have realised it is just him and we do our best to teach him when he can and can't be silly but his older sister was never like this. I think he is just being him. Keep going how you are and he will learn ( I hope anyway)

happyis Mon 09-May-16 10:19:00

I have 2 boys with 18 month gap! They do get a real surge of testosterone at preschool age which accounts for some of the behaviour lol.

The one thing I've learnt is to be very consistent with rules and boundaries and if you threaten a punishment you must follow through- so think before you speak! Punishment needs to be immediate- dont take away stars - they have been earned already, and reinforce the good behaviour- in his eyes he thinks what's the point of getting stars, she'll just take them away again! Instead set a realistic number that he needs to earn a treat - again you have to follow through if he doesn't achieve that number so plan treat carefully.

I tend to give 2 chances - a reminder then a warning then punishment

You also need to choose your battles!

And you and DH must be consistent and United in front of him- there have been so many times DH and I have disagreed with each other put have bitten our tongues and waited till DS were out if earshot to discuss it!
I love my bundles of energy! Would have loved a daughter too but I'm so happy to be kept on my toes!

CutYourHairAndGetAJob Mon 09-May-16 10:21:49

My three year old is just the same! I would concentrate on really bad behaviour eg hitting and kicking, and not worry too much about the rest (unless he is annoying other people).

How old is the baby? Dd went through a really naughty phase when her baby brother was born, but it passed after a few months.

CutYourHairAndGetAJob Mon 09-May-16 10:25:03

PS we do our shopping online, so we hardly ever have to take dd to the supermarket

ppeatfruit Mon 09-May-16 10:33:05

Yes He sounds quite normal to me too grin . POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT as hppyis says is your best friend.

Also take him out A LOT get him to the park (or out on a scooter or bike with you )to use up the energy . Twice if you can. Like a puppy !

CiderRules Mon 09-May-16 10:54:50

I could have written this about my just-turned-4 DS. Glad to see I'm not alone smile

People for whom this is in the past: when does it end? I adore him but he will calm down at some point, right?

mayaknew Mon 09-May-16 11:03:08

Mine is EXACTLY the same !! We were out for dinner yesterday and he climbed onto the table! shock I wanted to climb under it!

I feel like I'm constantly giving him a row and but he does not listen. Cannot wait until this phase is over you're not alone op it's so tiring isn't it sad

happyis Mon 09-May-16 11:08:41

Ha ha - I don't know if it does end! Although the "new puppy-ness" does start to settle down, particularly once they start School.

happyis Mon 09-May-16 11:10:53

Limit screen time too - I find yesit buys a bit of peace but their behaviour afterwards is 100 times worse - mine get really hyper after being on tablet/computer even if just 10 mins or do!

MonsterClaws Mon 09-May-16 11:15:26

It's just him not yousmile enjoy the mayhem it's going to give you great memories when he is a slouchy teen. My current one has never had a tantrum, he is reasonable, thoughtful and likes to sit and chat or draw. His big brother is still bouncing round like a tiger on a stag do, at three he looked like he had taken speed before the drinking started. I can actually take him shopping these days without it ending badly

ppeatfruit Mon 09-May-16 12:30:32

Oh yes and limit high sugar drinks and foods, also wheat can affect behaviour. if he gets bad tempered and exhausted easily. There are good wheat free pastas,cereals breads and crackers now.

kelda Mon 09-May-16 12:34:57

Sounds normal. My eldest 2 dds were like this, and I coped with it by making them walk for miles and take part in lots of physical activities. They are now 10 and 12 and very sporty, very lively, but no other behavioural problems.

It really is normal, for some boys and girls. Using up their energy in a healthy manner is the key eg. a two km walk to the swimming pool, swim for an hour, and then walk back.

SummerLightning Mon 09-May-16 12:35:25

My 7 and 5 year old (boy and girl) are like this! Not so much with the answering back thing, but they both have to climb on EVERYTHING, and they both shriek and make silly noises.
And they run EVERYWHERE. Unless you want to actually get somewhere quickly, then they are "tired".

kelda Mon 09-May-16 12:36:30

Climbing and jumping is to be encourage, it is great for their balance. Do you have a trampoline or skipping rope?

Arseface Mon 09-May-16 12:44:21

We have 3-yr-old twin boys and they are just the same. Tougher than the 2s sometimes.
As well as all the advice about diet, picking your battles and knackering the buggers I'd add that it's important to be a bit high energy silly with them from time to time.
It stops it always being you vs fun in their minds and they are more likely to listen when you tell them to stop mucking about about at other times.

It is like living with bear cubs though!

kelda Mon 09-May-16 12:45:17

Sympathy for twins at that age!

mayaknew Mon 09-May-16 13:40:47

Yeah I agree arse they say terrible twos but I think the 3-5 age is definitely the hardest.

Echobelly Mon 09-May-16 13:42:40

DS is nearly 5 and he still makes nonsense noises all the time, I think a lot of the behaviour you describe is pretty normal. And may, alas, go on for some time, but doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong.

DobbinsVeil Mon 09-May-16 13:52:49

I have slightly more success asking DS3 for the behaviour we want (indoor voice, walking, hands down) rather than telling him no/stop it etc. I do mean very slightly though.

knittingbee Tue 10-May-16 19:40:15

Seriously?! This is all normal. Annoying, but normal. Mine is 5 in a few months and exactly the same.

waterrat Tue 10-May-16 20:13:22

I think children of this age just have an incredible amount of energy and basically home and adult life is not enough to burn it off ! My son can be found running in circles at 8am ...

Is your son at pre school? I found that helped as it was very stimulating and something he cpuld really let off steam at every morning as there is a big outdoor area.

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