Half siblings

[Ffwred]

Hi looking for some advice...my daughter is 7 years old, but has advanced comprehension. My husband and separated when she was 8 months old. She has regular contact with her father. His new wife is expecting a baby and he has cancelled his contact recently. My daughter has be very upset and crying saying that she is anxious that her dad will love the baby more than her, she is also upset that her dad told her that nothing would change when the baby comes and she knows he is lying because things will change. I have tried to reassure her telling her things will change but her dad will always love her. I fear that he will let my daughter down, but would never tell my daughter this...looking for some advice...anyone experienced anything similar??
Thanks x

[MattDillonsPants]

Has he cancelled a lot? Has he cancelled all? Or has he just cancelled more than usual?

I think it matters because unfortunately, as her Mum you're going to try to have to predict what he's going to be like now...and in the future.

I'm so sorry that you and DD are having this to deal with...it's beyond shit of him not to keep her feeling secure.

[Ffwred]

Hi! No he has cancelled all. It tends to go in cycles where he doesn't cancel anything for a while then he will text me a list of dates that no longer suit him. We have an agreement of a 5 week rolling pattern of access...twice out of 5 weeks she stays with him an overnight

[Ffwred]

She was so upset last night I just feel I need to speak to someone who has had a similar experience!
Thanks

[WelshMoth]

2 times overnight in 5 weeks?
It doesn't sound like much to be honest. Are there reasons for such little contact?

If anything, he needs more contact with her to bond them. This would be reassuring for your DD. It would be a start.

[Ffwred]

On the weeks between the overnights he sees my daughter for 3.5hrs a week. This is the time he has asked for.

[WelshMoth]

OP so he has asked for this little contact?

How about you tell him to step up to the role of Father and to start seeing her more? She absolutely needs to feel like she's a part of this new unit-to-be or else it's her that feels the rejection, distress and abandonment.

[AmyGMumsnet]

Hi there

Quick one to say we think this thread probably belongs on the Parenting board, so we'll be moving it over shortly.