8 year old confident issues

[themumfairy]

I took my 8 year old ds to a party today and it really stood out that he's not confident at all. All his friends were there but he waited at the side and watched instead of joining in. He's always been a bit shy and put on a silly voice when speaking to people but thought he'd grow out of it. At home he's completely different, loud and chatty.
He doesn't really make friends easily either.
My ds2 is the total opposite.

Anyone have any tips on confidence building? I've tried getting him into a club or hobby but with his lack of confidence he never sticks to anything. Tia

[Whoamireally]

Been thru this with my 9yo daughter. Good news is, it can get better :) Do you think he knows how to join a group? It's a big thing to go up to a group in the middle of something and know how to join without being rejected, and if you've been rejected a few times then you become reluctant to even try. I know it's a girl book, but my daughter found the American Girl series really helpful. There's one called 'the smart girl's guide to friendship troubles' which gives all sorts of useful advice on 'how to' manage situations.

We did a lot of work at home practising what you might say or do to Jon a group, the trick being to try and slip into the group without being noticed!

Also, does HE think there's a problem? It took a lot for me to step back and realise that although I thought there was a problem, actually she didn't, and she was kind of happy just watching for a while and when I left her to it then she joined in when she felt ready.