Older dd and I are really strained at the moment :-(

(10 Posts)
Alwaysthebadguy Mon 15-Feb-16 21:21:04

She is 21. I raised her by myself till she was 15 (her dad was useless) and then I met dp. We have had one DC together.

She has turned out really well and I'm so proud of her and love her so much. I tell her all the time. (When we're not arguing)

For the past year after she came back from living with her BF we have basically argued non stop and I feel like I'm now the twat of the house.

We have just had an argument of a piece of cake where she ended up squashing it in her hand and throwing it and yelling in my face ' I hate you! I actually really hate you.' She has never done that.

Dp has gone upstairs and dd has walked out and I feel like the cunt again.

She is not a baby but a young woman and I want her to start acting like one rather than treating me like a maid and the house a hotel. But when I open my mouth to even ask to her to help me wash up it fucks her off so much I can see she has so much anger towards me.

Feel like moving out with dd2 and leaving dd1 and dp here. sad

Alwaysthebadguy Mon 15-Feb-16 21:26:14

Bump ... Anybody ?

LineyReborn Mon 15-Feb-16 21:29:46

I would you talk to your DP and DD separately about how they see all this going.

LineyReborn Mon 15-Feb-16 21:30:15

Sorry - I would suggest you talk ...

timelytess Mon 15-Feb-16 21:33:09

New? Name change? If genuine, throw her out.

Alwaysthebadguy Mon 15-Feb-16 21:35:24

Hi liney,

I can't talk to dd. Even if I use a passive non- commital voice I get accused of being patronising. She will just walk off. This can be anything from 'can you start to do your own washing love?' To can you help wash up the pots' . If I broach attitudes or anything negative she is really starting to boil with anger.

When I do talk to dp, he says he gets annoyed with her too especially her eating habits. So when I approach the issues if it's happening he will often put himself in the middle to look the good guy

LineyReborn Mon 15-Feb-16 21:36:41

You and your DP need an agreement and united front on this.

IrenetheQuaint Mon 15-Feb-16 21:41:42

It is probably really hard for her to readjust to living with you after living independently with her boyfriend. Can you encourage her to find somewhere else to live, with a friend perhaps?

Alwaysthebadguy Mon 15-Feb-16 21:42:02

Yep. I just wish he would stick to it.

Alwaysthebadguy Mon 15-Feb-16 21:44:51

Hi irene were six years in so she should be used to it by now.

She gets on great with dp, I just think it's because I've spoiled her as her dad wasn't around and she is incredibly entitled. She is 21 and pretends she can't use the washing machine or cook and I'm foolish enough to do it for her.

She moved out but moved back home again. She is going traveling in the summer so I'm just clinging on to that 🙁

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