Feeling low about going back to work after mat leave

[PregnantAndEngaged]

It's really weird, for a while I was excited to go back to work (even though I didn't really enjoy my job before maternity leave) but I think it's because I had zero time to myself in those early months and felt I had lost my identity and was just "mum" all the time.

However I now feel like, it took a good few months, but I have such a strong bond with my son and I love being a mum and I will miss him so much when I go back to work.

I am going back in just over 6 weeks. Sounds like ages but I just know it will fly by. And it keeps coming into my head how much I will miss him and I feel so down about it. I should be making the most of the time I have left but I am just sat here looking at him knowing I am going to miss him so much and not wanting this time to ever end.

Not sure what advice anyone can offer me really but just needed to put this out there without sounding like a moany old ball bag on my facebook page LOL.

[MintyBojingles]

It's a big readjustment, and it takes time I think. I returned to work 4 months ago and still feel bad some days. On the whole I know this is best, and enjoy the mental stimulation I get at work. I only work part time, so find it a good balance. What hours are you working?

[ODog]

I sobbed the whole night before I went back and all the way in on the train. Luckily it was summer so I wore huge dark glasses so I didn't look like too much of a head case. I only went back 2 days a week and I work mostly from home so still manage to have breakfast and dinner with DS. Work is different now in that it's something I do on the side of my normal life rather than it being my normal life. I wouldn't say I enjoy it but it's definitely not the worst thing in the world and makes me appreciate the other 5 days when I have him all day. I'm going on mat leave again soon and extending the year by another 12 months by taking a career break. Would that be possible for you if you aren't ready to go back?

[Chococroc]

I'm going back in 4 weeks and at the moment really can't get my head around it and feel down about the prospect.

He's going to nursery and I'm really happy with our choice, and know he will be fine. I just can't imagine not being the one who's with him all day for those three days (going back part time) and will miss him so much.

These last few weeks seem so booked up with settling in visits, back to work meeting etc that it feels like I'm not making the most of them.

I found the first few months so hard that I almost feel guilty that I didn't make the most of my mat leave. I enjoy it all so much more that the idea of going back is almost heartbreaking.

So, I can't really offer any advice but you're certainly not the only one! Several people have told me that the prospect of going back is worse than the reality so I'm holding onto that at the moment.

[PregnantAndEngaged]

MintyBojingles - Yes I think you are right about it being good for your own mental stimulation, thank you. I just need to remind myself of that. I don't particularly enjoy the job, but I guess working part-time it will just seem like a way to make ends meet and that being a mum is my real job. I guess I just need to adjust, that's all. I am in theory going back for 18 hours spread over 3 days, and will be working from afternoon to 9pm so tbh I will still see him in the morning but by the time I come home he will be tucked up in bed :( But it worked out the best for us financially as saves us a fair bit on childminder as my partner can take over for a few hours while I continue to work. However I am still waiting for work to approve my new hours.

Oh ODog, bless you lol.. I reckon I'll probably end up the same way! Unfortunately though, a career break isn't an option for me as we physically can't afford our bills unless I am earning as well. But thanks for the suggestion :)

Chococroc - I agree with you, the first few months are so hard and in honesty I think for me I didn't really properly enjoy them until he turned to about 5.5 months as before then he wouldn't go down in his cot so I never got time to myself as I had to cuddle him to sleep, he had colic in the early days etc. So it is so hard to make the most of it. It was at that time I was looking forward to going back. But now I'm sooo enjoying myself and I love him to bits, our bond has really developed and I'm dreading leaving him even though, like you, I am happy with our childcare choice. I will also cling on to the message others have given you.. perhaps it's true! Thank you