Does your 3.5 play for any length of time of their own?

[milkyman]

Expecting a dd in the spring - my ds will be 3.5. He never wants to play on his own - I understand but find I have to entertain him constantly! I have tried play dough, motion sand etc... i set them up for him but he will always find me and say he doesnt want to play on his own. His attention span is so limited. I realise this is normal but wondered if anyone is in a similar positio if they have an only and whether there are any suggestions. I say i have chores to do - even in the same room but he always comes and finds me. I suppose i should be flattered but does this change at any point?

[Sunflower1985]

Will he help you do chores?

To be fair, we rely on peter rabbit in these situations.

Or Lego.

[milkyman]

He will for a bit but doesn't last long! Yes cbeebies is the only time for peace but feel guilty! Which is silly as he does loads of stuff eg nursery, playdates and groups, walks, museums, cafes etc...

[intothebreach]

I recommend a good sling! That way, you can strap the baby to you and get on with everything else you have to do.

My ds1 was like this (same age gap), and I was quite worried. In the end, it was fine. If you're lucky, your baby will nap in a moses basket sometimes. Make feeding times an excuse to snuggle up and read books / play board games / watch cbeebies together. Tell your older one how much the baby loves them, make a game of catching the first smile together; take every opportunity to build a good bond between them. Also, accept all the help with housework etc that you can get!

Good luck with this. However, my feeling is that the very fact that you are concerned about this means that you will find some way of meeting both their needs.

[RandomMess]

It's a personality thing IME!

I would try the timer thing were you tell him 10 mins playing on his own whilst you do x then you will come and do y with him?

[Ellieboolou27]

I'm in the same boat, my dd who is 3.5 is always want in me to play but I also have a 4 month old, I felt like I never got anything done. What I found works is first thing in the morning I prep dinner, put a load of washing on and quick tidy up and make babies bottles, she's having breakfast while I go this (sometimes in front of tv)!!! Then we get washed / dressed and I put bubs for nap and allow 20-30 mins solid play, her choice of what she wants and then we prep lunch together, eat lunch and walk to nursery, I get 3 hours to do stuff but as washing done and dinner halfway done I can do other stuff (housework etc) it's relentless and tiring but I also allow 30 mins on her kindle when she's home from nursery so I can cook / run bath etc, it's not ideal using kindle /tv as babysitter but I found I was never able to do anything before, as long as you set aside 30 mins to play in the morning and afternoon things do run more smoothly, it took me 4 months (of hell) to get into this routine! You will manage, just don't put too much pressure on yourself to do it all

[milkyman]

Thank you - does your 3.5 go to nursery?

[Ellieboolou27]

Yes she's a July baby so I get the 15 hours free place, it's a lifesaver! It's really hard when you have the second one, I struggled the first 2-3 months and felt like I couldn't cope, however it does get better (I never thought it would at the time) if yours goes to nursery it will help u a lot

[milkyman]

Yes - is going 17 hrs a week

[milkyman]

Do you enjoy it now? - so nervous about a 2nd but guess a 3.5 age gap is pretty good.

[Jesabel]

Mine both play on their own and always have done, but I think that's because it's what they're used to - their time isn't more important than mine, so if I want to do other things I do (and I say no to games I don't enjoy). I think at 3.5 I'd be quite tough about saying no when you have other stuff to do.

[Jesabel]

I also have a 3.5 year age gap and have found it ideal - no jealousy from the older one as he has nursery and his own stuff going on, plus I could trust him not to hurt the baby and he will help by bringing me stuff and watching his brother.

[Ellieboolou27]

Yep now it's much better, I think 3.5 age gap is lovely, my first was a bit of a nightmare after I had my second, she played up a lot but now has settled down. Also having baby in the spring is much nicer as you can get out and about, lighter evenings etc. it was a huge shock when I had my second, I forgot how awful lack of sleep felt and I felt terribly guilty for my firstborn as in those first few weeks I was moaning and shouting at her (she was jealous of new baby, I was exhausted etc). Getting out of the house was (still can be) a hassle but you adapt. That 17 hours will be your salvation!

[Lovelydiscusfish]

Sorry, this is not much help - dd (nearly 4) rarely plays on her own. Occasionally I can trick her into it. She's more likely to play alone on a phonics or French app on the iPad, than with anything else. I do work full time, tbf, so I think that when she's with me, she just wants to play! (My Little Pony or similar -yawn. But glad she's having fun. )

[milkyman]

Yes and husband hoping to get 6 wks after birth - hoping this will help as remember first 6 weeks the worst! Please tell me it gets better

[Ellieboolou27]

Lol it does I promise, if your husband can get the six weeks off then you'll be fine, I found first six weeks awful but now my 4 month old sleeps through, it's my first that has me awake at 6am. I read a book that someone have me called three shoes one sick and no hairbrush, I wish I'd read it before the birth if my second, some people find it a bit depressing, however I think if I had read it before I would have been more emotionally prepared for the second. I also found using a sling helped as I could get stuff done around house, easier getting out and about, read that book if u can, will give u an idea of the reality of having two.

[waitingforsomething]

Dd is 3.2 and not great at playing alone. DS was born when she was 2.8 and part of her fun is helping feed/change/cuddle/play with him so it's been fine.
She is a fan of jigsaws and colouring so I can often get away with starting with her and then backing off while she finishes.

[Ellieboolou27]

Predictive text!!! The book was called three shoes, one sock (not sick)! And no hairbrush