My DD1was 17months when my DD2 arrived. I tried not to make too big a deal of it all. Read books/played with PlayDoh/etc while I fed/held DD2. Let DD1 hold DD2 when she wanted. Tried not to cringe when eyes were poked. And generally just tried to include her if she wanted, but not if she didn't.
I tried to engineer bedtime so DD2 was fed and I could still tuck DD1 in to give her 5 minutes of 'alone with mummy' time.
To be honest, looking back, DD1 still got all the attention and wasn't impacted too much. DD2 got put down a lot more, carted round soft play etc, and generally had to fit into a toddler's life. I think DD1 was so little it didn't really register that it just used to be her and now there was another baby.
At 2 and 8 months they seem fine and really adore each other.
My ds was 19 months when dd was born (now 2 and 5 months) and he adjusted really well. We had a few tearful bedtimes though, which was very unusual for him as he normally goes to bed without a fuss. He'd start to cry until I went up and rocked him for a little while so I think he was just missing me. It was over by the time she was a week old. I did his bath every night, just me and him. Even if dp had to run it and set everything up I would take him up and have a play. We also had our cuddle and an episode of Bing after his nap every day too. I'd do my best to feed dd as much as I could and settle her but tbh if she cried then she did and I prioritised ds for those two times of day, dp managed and it was only for a short time. It seemed to help.
With the childminder- it's tricky. If she loves it I'd be tempted to take her, perhaps for a few hours one day next week. Everything will be different and exciting next week either way!!
How are you coping without your dh? Do you have anyone else that can come round and fuss over your dd or hold the baby whilst you do?