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how do you deal with sibling rivalry, 5 & 3.9yo.

(8 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Thu 10-Dec-15 13:04:45

They use to be so loving but since primary school starting and life seems more hectic. They just bicker and in competition all the time.

Makes me so sad. It's constant in waves per month or week.

littleraysofsunshine Thu 10-Dec-15 14:24:16


macarooni Fri 11-Dec-15 13:48:19

your oldest will always get to be the first to achieve things and the younger one is always having to catch up. a good idea is to try and get them to have different interests so that they can shine in their own way?

5 yr old on bike, other one on scooter
different activities at diferent times?

im afraid that it may last a while i have 11 8 and 6 yr old, and the younger 2 are quite competative with each other

what specifically are the quarreling about?

littleraysofsunshine Fri 11-Dec-15 20:30:04

The 5yo and 3 and a half year old like similar things. 3yo wants to do everything huger big sis does but sometimes I think 5yo doesn't like that as she'll say "oh she's just saying the same, oh copycat" etc.

I can understand but three yo just idolises her. They were so close. Still are but clash where so similar too

littleraysofsunshine Fri 11-Dec-15 20:31:12

They use to cuddle so much, love on each other. Now they just annoy one another.

Usually who's fastest, who's the leader, who is the best at something. Despite us trying to keep things calm.

Toys they fight over.

macarooni Fri 11-Dec-15 23:33:21

It's very upsetting to see the ones you love fighting and deliberately trying to be unkind, hopefully it will be a phase but it could last quite a while! Ur children are very young though and talking about feelings and kindness might be tricky...maybe there's a picture book that you could read together about families, are they in separate bedrooms?

BackforGood Fri 11-Dec-15 23:48:53

Pretty normal for siblings to fight and annoy one another. Your job is to try to acknowledge their feelings. You need to distract the little one so she isn't copying the older one all the time, and to make some special 'big girl time' with the older on - even if it's 10 mins having a story together after the younger one as been tucked in. No siblings are going to grow up just cuddling each other.
Great advice - as they start getting into hobbies over the next few years - about trying to encourage different interests so the comparisons aren't as direct.

littleraysofsunshine Mon 14-Dec-15 21:34:15

They've been getting on much better the past few days. I've just been trying to focus on the positive behaviour as opposed to the negative. So when big sister took care of little sister I said to her that was such a kind thing to do, really lovely. I do still have to stop them racing down the stairs though, grin

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