7 year is really difficult

[Pancake2015]

My 7 year old has been pushing every button of mine for about a year now. He likes to wind his brothers up. Not a problem. But he cannot take being wound up himself and if they try, he resorts to very loud shouting, physically hitting, and general nastiness to others such as myself, or sibling who didnt wind him up.
He tries to be bossy, and if those hes trying to boss about dont follow what he says, he gets nasty - name calling etc.

Ive found myself being at the point of just shouting myself as nothing seems to work. I hate shoutinf, and try to avoid it - but im at the end of my tether with it all.
I dread picking them up from school because i know he is instantly going to start.

He is lovely at his dads, and wouldnt dare put a foot out of line. His dad spoils him and i cant help but think this has something to do with it.
I dont like taking him to the shop because he just grabs all kinds of things because his dad lets him - when i say no, because i cannot afford £7 worth of sweets per child. He gets huffy and then nasty to his siblings.

What can i do? Dad wont change nothing. He doesnt see a problem because there isnt one on his end.