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How did you stop your 2 year old from hurting your newborn?

(30 Posts)
elelfrance Wed 02-Dec-15 21:09:09

I'm just home from hospital a few days with new DS,and i have a crazy, enthusiastic just-gone-2 year old DD, who loves loves loves her little brother, wants to cuddle him all the time, wants to give him his bottle, give him toys etc etc.... but she doesn't know the meaning of the words gently, slowly or 'leave him alone'

now i'm in a fog of hormones & baby blues, and can't seem to think rationally about this, i'm convinced she's going to hurt him,despite having the best intentions in the world! so mnetters, be rational & logic for me - how did you manage to even go to the loo and leave them in the same room without there being a disaster ???

AnyFucker Wed 02-Dec-15 21:11:33

never, never leave them alone together

PotOfYoghurt Wed 02-Dec-15 21:13:56

At this stage, just don't. It's not even worth it, your DS could be seriously hurt in a second even if DD wasn't trying to.

Put baby in a bouncer chair/Moses basket and take DD with you to the loo, or take DS with you.

macarooni Wed 02-Dec-15 21:17:31

I had this...get him a baby doll. And a buggy, and change nappies size tissues for dolly bum
Mine tried to stick his big toe in baby's
Try to make him's tough...hazy memories, also had. 4 yr old at the time grin

unicorn501 Wed 02-Dec-15 21:18:07

Yep, never leave them in the same room alone... Get a sling!

macarooni Wed 02-Dec-15 21:18:14

Sorry her!

poocatcherchampion Wed 02-Dec-15 21:20:14

I never leave D's anywhere except a place designed for him - pram, cot or chisr. Always strapped in. Never the sofa or floor etc.

Not a substitute for watching but helpful to have boundaries.

petalsandstars Wed 02-Dec-15 21:21:03

Again never leave them alone together. Either take toddler in the bathroom or put baby on floor/in bouncer with you in there. Easier to take the big one to start with. Especially until little one is mobile.

elelfrance Wed 02-Dec-15 21:24:48

thanks everyone

I'm managing to be stressed even when I'm in the room with them... i feel like I'm constantly telling DD no no don't touch him/not to hard/don't climb on top of me when i'm feeding him/stop throwing crayons into his cot...
Does the novelty wear off eventually?

AnyFucker Wed 02-Dec-15 21:25:30


AnyFucker Wed 02-Dec-15 21:25:48

10 years

Mydearchild Wed 02-Dec-15 21:27:10

I had ds when dd was 15 months old. When he was a few days old when I found him with a grape in his mouth that dd had tried to share with him. Completely my fault! I then kept him in his Moses basket out of her reach!

BondJayneBond Wed 02-Dec-15 21:27:21

You don't leave them alone in the same room at this stage. Even a well meaning toddler could hurt a new born without meaning to.

We used to put DS2 in the pram or in the playpen when he wasn't being held, and if I had to leave the room, either move the pram containing DS2 out, or take DS1 with me so they weren't alone together.

CointreauVersial Wed 02-Dec-15 21:30:09

Take your toddler's hand, and teach him gentle stroking. If he gets heavy-handed, rather than reacting loudly try distracting him, or, even better, spot the signs and distract before he even gets near the baby.

If he gets a huge reaction from you when he hits/squeezes the baby, he'll do it more! You need to make it a non-issue. He'll soon get bored and find something else to do.

And never leave them alone, as everyone says.

CointreauVersial Wed 02-Dec-15 21:31:08

Sorry, toddler is a her!

winchester1 Wed 02-Dec-15 21:33:59

We had a double buggy with carry cot where dc2,was safe from dc1. Also dc1 was happy to be strapped in his side during nap time for.them both.
We practiced gentle a lot and gave dc1 'jobs' like saying shh when dc2,is sleeping, fetching his own shoes while I dress the lo, and a favorite id hold dc1,and he would push the pram to het dc2 to sleep. (16 month gap)
11months on the novelty hasn't worn off yet.

tinytumble Wed 02-Dec-15 21:37:56

I was sitting right next to 2 month-old DD when 2 year-old DS2 sat on her face confused. I'm sure you'll be more vigilant than I was, & this vigilance will become a normal habit quickly. They'll be best frenemies in 2 years' time, & then you'll have to spend all your time pulling them off one another... (Sorry!)

winchester1 Wed 02-Dec-15 21:38:48

We had a near miss when the toddler tried to get a toy from the lo travel.cot and fell in head first. Luckily the lo wasn't in there and the toddler was fine but it taught us the travel.cot wasn't a safe place away from the toddler for us to do a loo trip.

Aciderwouldbenice Wed 02-Dec-15 21:43:04

I had newborn in a sling most of the time or if he was in the Moses basket I put it in the middle of the dining room table.
It is tricky now they are 13months and 3years, they are always rolling about on each other. Baby does a good weeble impression!

seastargirl Wed 02-Dec-15 21:50:44

From birth high chair was a godsend for me, she was out of the way of the 15 month old and able to sleep in there safely.

A sling was really useful as well.

At the time I thought that stressful phase would never end and looking back I wonder how I managed. But it was all worth it and the younger one is 2 and a tough little cookie!

BaBaBaBoomBoom Wed 02-Dec-15 22:02:24

I found it really useful even though I felt like collapsing in a heap and having a nap making the time when the baby was asleep really nice and snuggly and 'special' because 'your being such a good helper for mummy..' Etc
Give her jobs to do for the baby that don't involve the baby.. Ie can you get mummy the wipes please? Oh thank you, look how happy you've made baby, your such a good big sister. Can you please do shh for the baby, she's a grumpy baby, you make her happy! < this 'you've made her happy!' Phrase is great, because it works even when the baby is still screaming, or at least it did with my dd!

Adelecarberry87 Wed 02-Dec-15 22:37:09

I have a two year dd who is obessed with babies and has her own hair chair,crib,pram. I'm pregnant with my third child so I will be in a similar position to yourself. I take her everywhere with me at the moment when i go to the toilet and bath as she at that age to cause havoc.

WhirlwindHugs Wed 02-Dec-15 22:42:43

Fairly large playpen with the moses basket inside. Just so you can put baby down out of the reach of the toddler.

Otherwise, they do get over their excitement, and you do get a bit more relaxed about your baby being prodded slightly more than they would if they were an only!

Anything actually violent I used time out for.

It does get easier, honest.

attheendoftheday Sun 06-Dec-15 09:41:30

I found it helpful to talk about what I wanted my toddler to do rather than what I didn't e.g. let's stroke gently.

defineme Sun 06-Dec-15 09:48:45

I had a 2 year old with new born twins, i used the cot or the big playpen(to put the babies in not ds1)depending on if i was upstairs or downstairs.
I do remember (10 years later!) the guilt because it felt like all we said was 'no' to ds1 when the babies came home. Thankfully they slept a lot inthe day so I could focus on him then.

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