Getting a teeny bit irritated by needy 10m old

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

I think (hope) this is just a phase but atm my LO's demand for attention is constant.

she used to be so goos playing on her own whilst I tidied up had a coffee but now she just whines at the stair gate whilst I quickly clean kitchen.. whines while in tidying any room even though she's with me ans I have givwn her things to occupy her. She follows me out of the room whining even though I'm beckoning her to follow. She adores daddy but even if we're out and he's carrying her she soon whines for me to hold it. Only I can settle her to sleep again. She is only happy when I'm holding her or giving her food. Even a bit of baby tv can't keep her happy for more than 5 mins.

She's been this way for a couple of weeks now and I used to find it sweet but now not so much! Which makes me feel a bit mean. It's just frustrating because I felt we both had a little more independence when she became more mobile and now it's whine whine whine.

Is this a phase? Or is it something more? I don't pick her up immediately which I hope is the right thing... any thoughts?

Thanks :)

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

Wow sorry for typos!And I didn't mean to call my child "it" whooops

[CupofBoo]

Separation anxiety tends to ramp up at this age, sounds like it might be that?

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

I've just looked this up and it is that! Thank you

[polkadotdelight]

14 month old DS is still in the throes of this!

[lenibose]

This continues for a while. I did a mixture of reassurance, a bit of "Mummy will be back. Mummy is doing X. Look, Mummy is back. Good girl for waiting" (repeat ad nauseum) and ignoring. I would make a cup of tea and insist DS play by himself till I finished it (10 mins or so). Sometimes he would sit at my feet and whine. And I would just say, off you play, make a suggestion or two, and leave him to it. It got better after a point when he gradually got the point that at certain times of the day Mummy does X, and I had better entertain myself for 5-10 minutes. And if he was absorbed with something I wouldn't jump in but hold back. They are less likely to join the dots at 10 months but it is good to start early and by 18 months or so, my DS could do nice stint of playing by himself. Very interestingly, DH who works much longer hours than I do, would always pick up at the first whine, and constantly try to entertain him (whereas I think no one died of boredom), and even now at 4 when he is with DH he demands a LOT more attention (Daddy do this, do that) than when he is with me. So I would deal with them as separate issues- separation anxiety and learning to play independently for short bursts. It does get better!

[Jw35]

Totally normal but if I were you I would pick up straightaway so baby is reassured quickly and it becomes less of an issue.

My 11 month old doesn't follow me and whinge when we're on our own but she will if other people are around. I don't have any gates between us though, maybe that's causing part of the problem?

I'm confident they outgrow this if handled correctly with lots of reassurance. It's hard work but they are still babies

[SevenSeconds]

It's a natural developmental stage - she's starting to understand that she can make choices herself rather than just staying wherever you put her. When my DC are in an annoying phase, I find it less annoying if I remember that it's normal!

I also think it's normal for them not to find TV interesting at that age, I don't think mine were bothered by it until they were around 2 years old.

[mummytime]

When mine were at an annoying phase, I'd ask myself if they'd still be doing it at 18. It helped me.

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

Thanks lenibose I will try that technique.

And thanks everyone else. Jw35 I see your point but I worry by keep picking her up immediately then it will grow into "mummy picks me up as soon as I cry so all I have to do is cry until I get what I want". Of course I pick her up and give lots of reassurance and love but I just hold it out long enough that she might eventually learn that mummy will pick you up when she's done doing whatever. Also if I don't have the gate then it's the door when I'm using oven etc. She's usually fine with gate.

she's better today so it must be a good day!

Yes mummytime I ask myself that too - definitely helps.