4 weeks into toilet training: wee and poo accidents as novelty wears off

[BotBotticelli]

It was going so well: ds1 (2.11yo) started toilet training 4 weeks ago.

By day 3 he was getting all his wees in the loo.

It took longer (2 weeks!) for him to get the hang of poos and we had 2 weeks of poo in pants before he managed to get one in the loo, and then it seemed to click.

Fast forward 2 weeks and it seems like the novelty of using the loo is wearing off. He is very reluctant to stop playing to go to the toilet (saying "no" he doesn't need to go, despite jigging around and obviously bursting for a wee, and then wetting himself).

Same with poo. He is now having one or two accidents a day. Getting the rest of his wee and poo in the loo. But I have to really "manage" him: insist that he goes to the toilet on waking, before snack time, before we go out anywhere, before we come home from anywhere, before dinner etc.

How normal is this constant prompting to try the loo?? I guess I sort of thought he would just say "mummy I need a wee", down toys, and trot off to the toilet....but it's not working out like that - he seems to need a lot more help and reminding.

Is this normal? Does it mean he is not ready?? I don't wanna put him back in nappies/pull ups when he did really "get it" (ie no accidents) for 2 weeks.

My gut feeling is that he is being a bit lazy/distracted? He is also a very wilful child (!) and I am concerned that when I now ask him if he needs to go, he will say "no" just to be contrary...! (And then he has an accident).

How on earth do I deal with this? Help!

[BlinkAndMiss]

He sounds like my DS, exactly the same! We seem to be coming out of the other side of it now and he's actually started asking for the toilet.

So, first thing on a morning my DS will go for a wee, he does this as routine and doesn't take much persuading. It's after then that he get busy playing and won't ask, and will say no if I ask him. I started physically removing him from his game, taking him to the potty which I kept within his view and using phrases like 'won't take a minute' and 'let's be really quick so you can get back to...'. After a few days almost a week of this he started to just go on the potty when he had the urge, I'd make a huge fuss of this and gave him a treat each time. His accidents reduced. At playgroup they have to remind him and take him without giving him the choice if it gets to break time and he hasn't been.

I still have to ask him most of the time but what I found was that because the potty was so close he was leaving it as late as possible before he attempted to go. He was having accidents a lot, so I moved the potty to the bathroom and this seemed to help because he no longer has the security of it being there. If he wants to avoid wet pants, and wants to have a treat, he has to vocalise that he needs to go. It's taken a while to click but he does get it now. He's still having accidents but I ask him less, it's just been difficult to dare myself to trust him.

I think I've struggled because I expected potty training to take a week or 2 but we've been at this for weeks. Within these weeks he's seemed to go back over a few times but he is getting there and so will your DS, don't go back over with pull ups and nappies and this will just reinforce that he doesn't always have to go to the toilet and will be less inclined to ask to go. It's very frustrating but I think it just takes longer for some than others and some are more stubborn than others!

[magicroundabouts]

DS1 was like this. I found it so frustrating, but he did get it eventually. I would agree with pp not to put him back in pull-ups from your post it sounds like he just needs practice. Some things that helped me:

• I stopped asking if he needed the loo. Instead if he hadn't been for 2+ hours I would just take him. If he refused to go I didn't push it & just accepted that he would have an accident. Also when I noticed that he was doing wee dance or hiding to poo etc I would tell him this is his body's way of telling him he needs the loo & take him to the loo
  
• When he had an accident I didn't clean him up until he asked (this worked well for us as DS hates the wet/messy clothes)
  
• Clean up & change clothes in bathroom. If he had wet himself I would ask him to undress himself & to let me know if he needed help. If he had pooed I would sit him on the toilet to wipe him, contents etc down the loo & get him to flush.
  
• When he had an accident would just say "You are a big boy & you don't wee/poo in your pants you use the toilet. You'll remember next time." and left it at that
  

It took a good few weeks, but then one day he said "I need to poo" and that was it. Wees took a bit longer for him to be completely secure.

[magicroundabouts]

Oops posted too soon, meant to say it took two months for him to say he needed to poo from when we started training. Much longer than I thought it would take, but it did happen and it will for you too