Ds 20 days old - I have a few questions.

[Sparrowlegs248]

First time mum with NO baby experience. Tried to post this a few minutes ago but it seems to have vanished.

Why am i getting leaky nappies? Its happening almost daily, i will notice a dampnpatch on his back or side above the waist band of nappy. Not coloured or smelly - looks like ive spilt water on him. Is it wee? Could he be sweaty? Today the nappy had been on maximum 1 hr and it wasnt full of wee. I changed it because he had pooped and notice the damp bit then. What am i doing wrong?

Secondly - is it ok to leave him nappibg in the front room while i wash up for example? I pop back in every minute or two. Can hear him if he grizzles.

And i just popped into the local shop for milk and got him.out of carcseat to take him in. Do you do this? Take car seat in? heavy or leave in car (was literally a minute, walked in got milk paid and out) Seems a faff to take him in but feels wrong to leave him.

Thanks. :-)

[Imeg]

Nappies - The occasional leak is just one of those things but I found that we got more leaks when we needed to change sizes (usually go up, even though you'd think it was because the nappy was too baggy).

Napping - I definitely did this, though I found it easiest to have him napping in the pram and then I could eg take him out in the garden to do some gardening.

Shop - I very rarely took the carseat out because I had a two door car at the time and with the Caesarean as well it was just too awkward. So I would have taken the baby out too. I wouldn't have left him in the car personally.

Everyone muddles through and finds their own way of doing things!

[Imeg]

PS the only problem I had with leaving him napping elsewhere was the cat: I made sure the cat was shut somewhere else if I was leaving him.

[ch1134]

I would never ever leave a baby in the car alone. I'm terrified they'd be abducted! I know people who do but it seems all wrong to me.

I would definitely leave them in the next room to do some washing up though.

Leaky nappies happen a lot with newborns. Just change him often.

[ANiceSliceOfCake]

I'm not a mum yet but hopefully will be next week! As for the baby in the car thing the way I see it is would I leave my handbag in the car on display? So for me no I'd take baby in with me. I know this is personal choice though but it's how I feel.

[Sparrowlegs248]

Thank you. I too have a two door and a c section. First time out today. :-)

Yes to the cats too although big cat shows no interest and doesn't go in front room, little cat likes to try and lick his head. But they both tend to be outside during the day.

Glad its not just me with the nappy.

[NicoleWatterson]

Congratulations, I was like you. No baby experience at all, it's a steep learning curve isn't it!
Nappies; try a few brands, each ones fit slightly differently. Did the hospital tell you to Make sure his willy is poking down?

Napping; yes, this one took a while for me to realise it's ok to leave them sleeping when your doing bits and pieces round the house. They aren't going to climb out whilst your upstairs and go for the knife draw just yet.

Car; yes i did the same. I couldn't manage the car seat and baby either. Have a look to see if milk and more deliver (life safer for me, you pay monthly and can order upto 9pm the night before!), also when you go to a supermarket take a blanket and use the trolleys with the plastic baby seats so you don't have to negotiate the car seat trolley problem. I tried once and couldn't see over the baby!!! I couldn't lift him off the trolley either!!!!

[Sparrowlegs248]

I frequently leave my bag/phone on the front seat when i go to this shop! Sounds stupid when i say it but its a village shop, quite rural, with a car parking area off road in front. I take my purse in. But still not comfortable leaving him. Hopefully getting him in and out will get easier the more i do it but

[Christelle2207]

Well done you're doing great.

Suggest you try some different nappies and/or go up a size and see if any better. Nappies and babies are different shapes and you may need to try a few before you find the ones that work. Aldi ones are worth trying and cheap.

Yes fine to leave your baby alone while you wash up/go to loo etc. as long as he is in a safe place.
Leave doors open so that you can hear him and vv. I have a baby and toddler and it's not physically possible to be in same room as baby all the time.

If you can see baby from shop and lock the car I think ok to leave but it's a personal thing. I leave him when paying for petrol for example as not sure what can happen if door locked and he's in full sight. If I can't see car and/or I'm going to be more than 3/4minutes I would get car seat out.

[CloserToFiftyThanTwenty]

Nappy - you might want to try a different brand, as they all fit a bit differently. another brand might fit more snuggly round the waist, for eg. I suspect it's wee (baby wee is pretty neutral liquid)

Yes to napping - unless you decide to go down the baby wearing route, you would never get anything done otherwise! generally best for them to nap in the same room as you, but every house lay out is different and you have to make a judgment on what works best for you

I got my very small baby out of the car, even though it was a PITA, in part because even if he woke up when we got back in and started driving again he would fall back asleep.

Oh, and congratulations!

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

Our local garage had a man on the forecourt to help out. He would stand by the car for me so I could nip in and pay. Chemist would bring my prescriptions out to the car so I didn't have to leave twins and toddler. I would drive for these 'services' you can get a door jam thing, like a kitchen door stop, so the doors open so you can hear, but cat can't get in, used that in the bedroom to stop cat sleeping in there.

[Daffodil1210]

Regarding the nappy issue, I had this with my DS and as a PP has said, it was because DS's willy wasn't pointing down! Had a few times where his back or belly was wet before I twigged!!

[ODog]

Re the nappies. I has loads of leaky nappies until I realised you had to pull out the 'knicker elastic' bit. Please feel free to ignore if you already do this. Fully appreciate that most people probably know this.

[Sparrowlegs248]

Odog Somewhere along the line i started doing that but then wondered if it was right or not - actually watched YouTube videos of nappy changes.

I had literally never changed a nappy til i did DS first one and stood there in a post c section fug wondering which bit was the front!

[plipplops]

Nappies - yes to making sure the frilly bit was out MIL never did that and if she had looked after DDs we always had leakage. Also try different brands/go up a size.

I never worried about leaving them in the car for a couple of minutes as long as it wasn't too hot but we live in a very rural area. I think the chances of something bad happening are so incredibly tiny, and esp with toddlers in petrol stations etc the chances of them coming to harm walking across a forecourt are way way more than leaving them in the car. I know loads of people on here have VERY strong views on this but I think it depends an awful lot on where you live.

[Caterina99]

My pfb is 8 weeks now and like you I had almost zero baby experience before him.

Nappies - try a few different brands and sizes. We have finally settled on one we like and no leaks! We did have a few days where he seemed to be constantly wet and going up to the next size solved that. Also yes to pointing down and pull the frills out.

Leaving him napping and getting on with stuff. Yes you have to! How else would you get anything done ever? I just keep an ear out for crying and if I'm going upstairs or something where I wouldn't hear him easily then I try and just do it for 5 min or so.

I always take the car seat or pram into shops, but I tend to like to go out for a wander, so would be leaving him for ages! If you are literally popping in for a minute then id say leave him in the car if you can see it. Totally up to you on that one though.

[Caterina99]

Plus I live in the USA. It's over 30 degrees outside at the moment. Leaving him alone in the car is absolutely not an option! less of an issue in the UK I suppose.

[Sparrowlegs248]

Haha no likelihood of those temperatures here! I did literally walk into small shop, pick up a bottle of milk, paid at the counter and walked out. Car was parked about 3 steps from the door. I still don't fancy leaving him on his own though.

[villainousbroodmare]

Also first timer with DS almost exactly the same age as yours. Pampers beat Huggies for leakproofness. Otherwise congrats!

[shitebag]

Congratulations, those early days are a bit of a shock to the system aren't they?! Everyone spends 9 months telling you it'll all come naturally then you're left there with this tiny person thinking ERM....We've all been there so don't worry about asking questions :o

Nappies-
As others have said check his willy is pointing down at each change, I complained to the midwife about my ridiculously sweaty baby when she pointed out my error ('scuse the pun). Also pull out frilly bits and make sure that there are no gaps around legs with a finger gap around the waist.

Leaving in the other room-
I definitely do this or I'd never have gotten anything done, as long as he's in a safe place and you can hear him its fine. If you don't like doing this you could use a sling to keep him with you.

Nipping into shop-
Personally I always take them in with me, either lug the car seat or just lift him. I know that any harm being done, whether its choking on vomit, hand brakes coming off or whatever other scenario you can think of, is unlikely but to me its just not a risk worth taking.

Trust you instincts, if it doesn't feel right then don't do it!

[CordeliaFoxx]

As Nicole said make sure his willy is pointing down when you put his nappy on - I made that mistake quite a few times with DS1! I think it's more likely to be that than wrong size nappy.

I let all mine nap whilst doing jobs, but it is quite frowned upon to leave them in the car, though I also did it, pay at pump wasn't much of a thing back then.

[mikado1]

Just with your description of the leak spot, we had similar this week. Are you using cotton wool and water? I think water from cotton wool was dripping onto change mat when I was cleaning bum and was then wetting vest and babygro at back-I felt quite the super sleuth when I worked it out! ! Sounds like you are flying it! :) We are day 16 here but it's psb so I feel a bit more relaxed!

[Sparrowlegs248]

I am using cotton wool!! I had one leak that you could tell was wee, and one where he wa feeding and weed out the gap in his nappy onto me but they do often look just like water. Will pay more attention.

[lemoncordial]

Congratulations! With the nappy leaks make sure the frilly bit (gusset) is out. I run my finger along each side to unfurl it.

I wouldn't leave him out of view if you have cats. Of course you know your cats well but they are animals and therefore unpredictable. Take him from room to room with you in the bouncy chair from room to room or carry him in a sling. I can't comment on the car as I don't drive.

[ohidoliketobe]

Congratulations!
You certainly sound like you've got your shit together. Day 20 I was still a quivering wreck packing up the car as DH left to work to set up refuge at my Mum/gran / friend / cousin's houses (literally anyone who would have me!)

Nappies - as previously mentioned. Willy down, fastened nice and tight and make sure frilly bit is untucked all the way around. We tried a few different types, settled for Aldi in the day and Pampers baby dry at night. Also tried going up/ down a size? My DS has always leaked when he's been in between sizes - too big for one but too skinny for the next size up.

Napping - yeah used to do this until he could roll. I got a playpen at that point

Car - only times I've left him are to pay for petrol (1 minute job and can see the car through the big window front) and napping in the car when he's fallen asleep on the way home - car gets backed down the drive so it's next to the dining room window, wirh the car window open, dining room window open I can sit with a brew at the dining table and see / hear him - guarantee he wakes as soon as I sit down! (disclaimer: Obviously I don't leave him in a hot car.) I don't think I'd feel comfortable leaving him in while I went into our local corner shop as my car would be out of my line of sight.

[Buglife]

If the leak is out the top of the nappy, then defo check willy is pointing down when you fasten the nappy for a DS! I was wondering why I had to change my DS sleepsuits and vests all the time until my no nonsense midwife barked '"willy down!" at DH when she was there while he was changing him! Willy Pointing up in the nappy means the wee just goes out the top, willy down means it flows down to the absorant bit. That is it for sure, rather than size at this stage I guess.