Tips for getting baby to sleep in his cot??

[Alb1]

DS is almost 11 months, up until now wev got him to sleep by feeding him to sleep in our bed and then transferring him to his cot once asleep as it's the only way wev been able to get him to sleep this last few months. Last week we decided it was finally time to move him to his own room, new bed time routine etc and it is just not working! It's awful! Hes ended up spending every night in our bed nothing works! Our routine is bath, story, bottle of milk, sleep... He will initially go to sleep on me and I can put him in the cot but then when he wakes again 20 mins later he hits the roof and there's nothing I can do after that to get him to stay in the cot! The only advice I can get from anyone (including nursery) is to leave him to cry, but I just can't do it, he doesn't settle after a few mins, he just gets more and more upset till he's sick, I'm sure it must work for some people but controlled crying just feels wrong for us. It's only been 5 days but I'm and the end of my tether, so if anyone has any advice please tell me! I'm tempted to just move his cot back to our room and try again in a few months, is it possible he's just not ready to move? Apologies for my long rant...

[ElphabaTheGreen]

There is no non-crying way of getting him to fall asleep in his cot when he's only ever fallen asleep with you, unfortunately. He's not going to see a connection at all between cot and sleep, when he's used to being with you. Cuddling him to sleep then putting him asleep in his cot is like you falling asleep in your bed, then waking up and finding yourself on the bathroom floor. You'd be pissed of and disorientated!

Do you mind co-sleeping? If not, there's no problem whatsoever in continuing if it works for you, as he'll eventually want his own space (but probably not until he's quite a bit older). If you do mind, and really, really want him to sleep in his cot...well, brace yourself for screaming as there's no way of making him go quietly when he's used to the security of being with you. If you do gradual withdrawal where you stay in the room with him, rather than CC where you go in and out at increasingly longer intervals, you'll be looking at a minimum of 45 minutes of screaming. And it may not necessarily work, or only work until the next bout of teething, after which you'll have to do it all over again, whichever method you choose.

[SweetAndFullOfGrace]

Our solution to this problem was to let DD lead us a bit.

There are obvious bad sleep habits that need correcting (will only sleep on you etc) and there are habits that are just due to the fact that different babies sleep differently, not bad or wrong just different.

We found that relaxing a bit and doing what felt natural to the three of us (well, I am inferring DD's point of view by her reaction!) was the best way to get her to sleep.

[MinesAPintOfTea]

I did a sort of gradual retreat. For the first few nights that meant lying on floor cushions with an arm through the cot bars. Then a chair next to the cot, then a bit further away.

Never managed to leave the room until he was 2, but I had a comfy armchair to read in and DS wasn't waking in the night upset.

[Alb1]

Thanks for the replys, good to hear people have managed it! DS doesn't care if I'm in the room, if he's in the cot he's hysterical regardless of how close I am I'm not a co sleeping fan, I love cuddling my baby but I also love cuddling my husband at night, everyone also insists if we co sleep now wel still be co sleeping when it's 6-7 which puts me off!

[SweetAndFullOfGrace]

I have yet to find a "rule" of baby sleep that applies to all babies.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

It's unlikely you'll still be full time co-sleeping at six or seven. 3yo DS1 is in his own bed 99% of the time these days, but he was closer to two before any form of 'persuasion' helped to convince him to prefer his own bed to ours. We ended up going down the sleep consultant route with him which worked brilliantly, then got equally sleep-averse DS2 who will only, you guessed it, co-sleep. Hey ho. This too shall pass. I'll miss it when they don't want to get in bed for cuddles anymore.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

One thought - the feeding to sleep on a bottle is problematic for teeth, especially when his molars start to come in. Could you move the bottle to before the bath, brush his teeth at bath time then try and get him used to cuddling to sleep instead of feeding, possibly in a chair in his room? You'll get a goodly amount of rage again, but it will reduce considerably within a week and will save his teeth. It's called the 'crying in arms' approach. He'll be angry and upset, but you'll be doing everything to give him the support he needs to express that anger, just minus the feeding.