Age appropriate viewing..

[boobah1970]

I recently found out that while my children ( DS 9 and DD 6 ) are at my ex wife parents after school they have been allowed to watch the ITV show Newzoids on catchup TV. Being a post watershed program and of a satirical nature its full of F words and sexual reference. When I asked my DS where his gran was when he watching the program he said she was sat next to him, I asked him were there rude words and his response was yes the F word but nanna said we could watch the program as long as we never repeated then!

I was shocked when he told me as I go great lengths when they are with me to make sure their viewing is appropriate and their iPads / computers have parental controls.

When I questioned my ex and her mother over the viewing of this program and language they had been exposed too, I was told well they don't watch it any more and may I should think about paying for childcare if I'm not happy, and how dare i question her mother..

Am I missing something or am i not allowed be angry that my children have been exposed to expletives and sexual comments while in the care of grandparents? Maybe i'm old fashioned and these days its OK for a 9 & 6 year old to watch that sort of thing..

[Newtobecomingamum]

Id be bloody fuming and it's appalling behaviour!! You are in the right!

However... Is this a one off? Has this happened before? You have voiced your disapproval and although she snapped stupid comments back would she have got your point?

I would clearly explain to your children that it was wrong of mum/gran to have allowed them to watch that programme as it is for adults only and that the bad words should not be repeated etc.

I would also when you next speak to ex (don't just make contact specifically about it) say that because the bad words were repeated by the children can they please not be exposed to the programmes again etc... Without it turning into a row.

I personally unless it was repeated again leave it at that... You know your own situation with your ex and although what has happened is really bad, if it is a one off then I wouldn't push it any further for the sake of straining the relationship any further and without it being detrimental to you.

[boobah1970]

From what I gather they have been watching it over a number of weeks, I have explained to the kids that they should never have seen the program and it was for grown ups etc and that if I ever hear the words they will live on the naught step and I' ve never heard them utter any of the words.

I'm just shocked that the nanna allowed it to happen over several weeks and then when confronted I'm in the wrong for challenging it. I wont say anything more but if she comments I will make my position very clear.

[sugarplumfairy28]

I don't think you're wrong to be angry at all. I have found, even with my own mother, that suggesting they have done anything wrong, let alone something potential damaging like normalizing swearing at such a young age, is seen as the ultimate insult. Whatever you say, think or do, they will always have X more years experience and you cannot possibly know better than them. The usual response I get is "fine, find someone else to look after them"

I find it very difficult, but trying to realise where to draw the line is key, and more importantly acting on any breaches of that line.