How on earth do I get baby to nap with toddler in the house?

[pennyapples]

Now that Dd2 (8 months) is not happily sleeping loads of her own accord and can't sleep downstairs in Moses basket / carrycot, I'm trying to get her down for naps in her cot upstairs but finding it impossible with Dd1 (2.5) who doesn't get the concept and rampages around trying to prevent her dropping off / wake her up should she drift off (she's very loud and little one a very light sleeper). Have had to resort to feeding to sleep on the sofa and heading upstairs when she drifts off to try and deposit her in cot but is not ideal as don't want the food / sleep association to go on much longer, and the movement wakes her anyway. Don't feel I can leave dd1 downstairs for long for safety reasons... And she won't stay in her room even with toys out, that's what we tried this morning and she started ripping pages out of books and kept crashing in the door to see her sister. Have also tried leaving dd2 to cry it out a bit but she ends up falling over in the cot and banging her head. Help!!

[captaincarter]

get a playpen for dd1 while you are putting dd2 down.

[pennyapples]

Thanks for the suggestion, we've actually just given up on that idea, we bought a playpen yanks ago and she hated it, does a dramatic throwing herself at / over the side thing.... While screaming the place down which obviously stops little one settling. It's gone in the loft....
Also it takes over half an hour to currently settle LO, and that's with the feeding, so longer without I guess?

[PeterParkerSays]

Can you try and get out to the park either for the nap, in the pushchair, or just before, so the older one is tired / sat on the sofa when the little one is asleep.

Maybe buy a comic or a book and tell your older toddler you will read it together, as special time with mummy, once the baby is asleep, as an incentive to leave her to sleep?

[GreenFeathers]

I had to resort to ds having all naps in pushchair or sling as my 2yo dd also enjoyed shouting just when i'd got him off to sleep.

Does your dd still nap? Those are the only times I could get them both to sleep at the same time..

[pennyapples]

She naps at nursery in the afternoon so I find at the minute that dd2 falls asleep in the buggy on the way back but she always always wakes up when we get home - sound of key in lock wakes her, so she ends up just sleeping half an hour and then can't get her off again until I go back to get dd1 and then she only gets 20 mins as nursery sounds wake her! She's pretty much demented by evening and overtired when I try to get her down at bedtime. I had to walk dd1 to sleep and really don't want to return to those days as too tired to walk mikes every day. Also can't walk in the mornings at the minute with both as dd1 just screams when I put her in the buggy - she wants to walk, but walking and holding hands / reins is hard when she pulls / twists when I'm also pushing the buggy, she has no road sense and we have scary roads to contend with. When she does walk nicely she constantly wants to stroke / kiss dd2 in buggy so she wakes up anyway. I can't drive by the way...

Am screwed

[pennyapples]

Sorry feel like am being obstructive but can't do sling anymore as bad back / neck at the moment - all the bloody feeding I think

[GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate]

I'm in a similar position. My next plan is for older child to watch DVD in my bedroom whilst I settle baby in cot, haven't actually tried it yet though. Any chance it would work for you?

[GreenFeathers]

Oh yes! That works. If I put on peppa pig for 30mins I can get ds to sleep in the other room. Maybe that would work for your dd too OP..

I think the second baby just doesn't get the same in terms of naps etc as they have tofit around the older dc. I often wind up with a tired wreck of a baby come bedtime due to so many interrupted sleeps throughout the day. It's bloody hard!

[DeathMetalMum]

I had to leave dd1 downstairs. The room was generally 'babyproofed' anyway, and I was lucky that if I left dd colouring she would pretty much always be still doing what I had left her when I came back downstairs, I also often put cebebies on as I left the room and would often find her watching when I came down. Dd1 and I then got some valuable one on one time.

There wasn't any other options and dd2 wouldn't sleep if she could see/hear/ or even bloody sense the presence of dd1. If she didn't sleep everyone's afternoon was a misery as dd2 would normally sleep for 2 hours or more.

[blushingmare]

I had/have just this problem. Resorted to rocking DS off to sleep in his pram for naps, which could be done whilst chatting to/playing with/reading to/feeding etc toddler. Now DS is older (nearly 12mo), the rocking doesn't really work anymore, but he also copes better with not napping very much. Now he just falls asleep in the car when we're out and about and that's just it for his nap - 20-30mins twice a day if we're lucky! DD was sleeping a good 1.5-2hour afternoon nap by this stage, but he will never get that as he just needs to fit in with what else we're doing. He seems happy enough, although I could do with that long afternoon nap at times!

[Greenstone]

I leave dc1 downstairs with tv on.for 20 mins while I'm putting dc2 to bed. It's not ideal but she knows to come find me if she needs me. Dc2 used to nap downstairs in pram but just wasn't working anymore.

[pennyapples]

Thanks all - sorry delayed getting back to this
Is nice to know others are in the same boat - and I think you might be right blushing that they slightly just have to deal with what they can get... Sounds like you were achieving about the same total nap time as me

I'm going to try the book technique peter is a good idea, otherwise I guess it's tv, I just feel like dd1 watches enough bloody cbeebies as it is....

[purplemurple1]

We just have a stair gate at the bottom of the stairs and I leave DS(20months) alone while I put DD up.

What is dangerous, could you sort that so you can leave your older kid alone a bit longer, or could yougive them an activity to do while you are gone, we tend to give little jobs that keep him occupied.

[purplemurple1]

Naps in the garden work quite well as well as LO goes in the pram and the older one can run around ad play or push the pram with me, which ever he prefers. Tbh so long as he isn't stroking her she is able to sleep through any noice as she has had no other option.

[jazzandh]

I put a fan/air purifier in my boys' rooms...drowns out most background noises.....they don't hear the loud startling noises either. Mine don't wake for anything of a noise nature!!

Whilst that doesn't help with putting your DD2 down for a nap, would mean that loud toddler type noises wouldn't wake her up again!!

[westcountrywoman]

CBeebies for DD1 while DD2 is settling or Nordic Napping (aka putting the pram in the garden) for DD2.

[purplemurple1]

Fuck off :-) is it really called nordic naping now, surely éveryone use to do this1

(Although I am in Sweden but I do it because my UK parents did it not becasue of where I live.)

[TarkaTheOtter]

I rocked dc2 to sleep in the pushchair whilst dd watched TV in the next room. Took about 5mins so within dd's attention span.
From about 14m I have just put him down in his cot and he pretty much goes straight to sleep so it didn't cause any lasting problems and made my life much easier.

[Midorichan]

My DD has to deal with what she's given basically, poor kid. My eldest (22 months) is a high energy whirlwind of non-stop loud GO, and doesn't fit at all with any of the "how to deal with 2 under 2" advice that seems to be the same all over the net, so all that "just give them a bag of their fave toys/books, put on CBeebies/give them a snack" thing just doesn't apply with him. As such i have to take him up with me whilst I try and feed her in the darkened quiet of her room (LOL, never quiet, with the eldest running in and out screaming/bringing me things/trying to climb over us both etc), leave her to fall asleep on her own in the room whilst I shut the door, stick on the dehumidifier in the hallway (to block out as much sound as possible) then try and chivvy the eldest back downstairs before he runs like a demented banshee gorilla at her door to bang on it.
My DD has stopped napping in the pram/car seat AT ALL now at 6 months, and as such only really naps when left on her own in the cot - sometimes my eldest wakes her with his screaming, mostly she's ok but in the end she's had to learn to self sooth.

[pennyapples]

So sorry folks for abandoning the thread, I didn't mean to, we have chicken pox and had a family crisis and mumsnet ting just hasn't happened, sorry, you haven't been wasting your time responding as am grateful for all the advice and will try all tactics!

Mid your situation sounds similar to mine... I feel like that... The general advice often just doesn't work for us...! It's the same with lots of stuff, people said I'd be able to read to my Dd1 while Dd2 fed, that didn't work, at all... All those tips people think solve the 2 under 2 thing just don't seem to apply.

Going to go with cbeebies if all else fails and leaving downstairs and hoping for the best. She kind of has to nap, she gets a rough deal certainly but she should be allowed to sleep somehow

Thanks everyone for your time

[theywereworthit]

Does your little one take a dummy? Sorry if someone suggested up thread. My second one has just for naps (not night) and it was a total lifesaver for getting her to settle upstairs. Can just keep popping up to put it in if needed. Mine didn't take it until abt 6 months she didn't like when she was younger...