friendships in Reception

[Binker]

I was wondering what other people think about children's friendships in this first year at school - I ask because I get quite distressed about a friendship which seems to have faltered-my son and his friend were very close(like brother & sister almost)(and that might be my answer !) but now she seems to have grown apart from him - she is like a teenager and he's like a playful puppy-which seems to irritate her. We don't walk to school together anymore,which he doesn't seem to miss,but I think I am suffering some sort of 'transference' and feeling upset on his behalf. He is quite a self contained little boy and very contented in his own company.We've had other children over to tea and to play which he likes,though he tends to wander off to do his own thing. I suspect I'm thinking too much about this ! He seems happy enough,but I worry. Any ideas or similar experiences ?

[candy]

That's sad Blinker, but to be honest, he will probably soon forget her. Haven't had that experience tho' so not much help! My eldest is still absolute "bestest buddies" with the boy she hooked up with in nursery (they're now in Year 2) but my youngest in reception seems to have a little crew of people she plays with but nobody special. I worry on her behalf but completely without reason I think. So long as your son is not moping after her I really shouldn't worry about this. He'll soon make even better friends.

[SueDonim]

Binker, I think your situation is fairly common I really wouldn't worry about it at all. Children's friendships evolve and change all the time. My DD is very mature compared to the boys in her class, and I noticed the same phenomenon when my boys were at that stage. In fact, I don't think boys catch up emotionally with girls until well into the teenage years (and of course, some of them never do!)

[tigermoth]

Binker, from nursery onwards, I found my son gravitated towards boys in the classroom but outside class, he had some great friendships with girls as well.

One of his oldest girl best friends happened to be in the same nursery and reception class as him. In class they went their own ways and I remember feeling a little rejected on my son's behalf when he said, plays with and **. However he did not seem at all worried and they continued to have a strong friendship at weekends when they met up.

I really think my son gained from having girls as friends. With girls he was quieter and played more peaceful 'lets pretend' games, as opposed to playfighting with his little boy buddies.

Is it possible for your son to see his girl best friend outside school hours?

[Binker]

Thanks for your comments everyone - feeling better about things -I think I tend to take too much to heart and should be a bit more laid back ! Tigermoth- yes,they do see each other outside school,though not as much recently because of their arguments and bickerings on the way to school,which has made me and friend's mum a bit reluctant to risk it ! However they did go to a party together yesterday and though they bickered a bit it was fine and they were seen dancing together at the party- I think that the answer is to not force them together but if they coincide,say at school,or parties or just by chance,then leave them to get on with it- actually yesterday showed me that I'd built up a lot of anxiety in my head and that in reality they were behaving in the way that kids who know each other very well would do.