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Homeschooling..thoughts and experiences please

17 replies

littleraysofsunshine · 09/02/2015 20:47

I'm just so not ready for dd1 to go to school aged just four and ten months in September. I keep questioning if I should home school but I will have my dd2 who will be 3.5, and son who will be 1.9 at that time...

Dd1 does preschool for 15 hrs at the minute, loves it and thrives on learning. I just think 'big' primary school is so big for a bit even five year old. I'm not ready to let her go just yet..

Also a huge factor is that we have always raised them to have a very child-led way.. So we started preschool as they asked us, we want them to have a free childhood, learning life skills at a steady pace instead of feeling pressure on hard topics at such a young age, and also the introduction of certain religious and sexual studies from a small age has made me concerned too.

What do you think?

Homeschooling successes anyone? Especially with multiple kids. To suit all needs,

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MangosMangosMangos · 09/02/2015 22:55

I've done both...DC's are in school now, reception (at this DC's school) is a lot more play based than I had ever envisaged that it could be, they are out side a lot and the teachers have been very caring about a small issues.

There is a home ed board in MN that has loads of information. It also might be worth looking round different schools as some may fit better than others too.

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NickyEds · 10/02/2015 11:02

I'm just so not ready for dd1 to go to school

I'm not ready to let her go just yet..

Sorry op but it sounds like this is more about you not wanting to be without your LO rather than school not being right for them. If your dd loves pre school and is thriving there then that sounds great. Reception children at my local school look sooooo tiny but I don't think it's all about structured learning nowadays. Do you have specific worries about the school in particular?

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misspantomime · 10/02/2015 11:15

yes I'm sorry I agree with Nickyeds this feels more about your needs than your LO. MangosMangosMangos is right, at that age school is much more about play and interaction with other children than anything else - it is really important in terms of their social development. Obviously it depends on the individual school but if your DD enjoys it I can't see why your LO would have a problem.

I am also not sure what 'religious and sexual studies' you are referring too, I have never had this experience?

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littleraysofsunshine · 10/02/2015 11:16

Those are elements, but I do worry about the structure. about a not even five year old being out in the huge playground with up to 11 year olds, the pressure to do well, learning topics I don't agree with at that age

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ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 10/02/2015 11:19

If you homeschool then it is your moral responsibility to educate your child as widely if not more widely than they would receive in a mainstream education.

If you want to homeschooled because you dont want to let DC go/because you dont want them to learn about religions/because you dont want them to learn the proper names for body parts then those are very wrong reasons IMO.

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misspantomime · 10/02/2015 11:27

I'm sorry but I find this quite strange, why would your 5 year old being out in the playground with 11 year olds bother you? My niece and nephew are 5 and 11, should they not play together?

As to the pressure to do well and learning topics, well at that age there isn't really any, it's just about learning very basic, fun things and it's way more geared towards play and social interaction.

school is part of life at the end of the day, it's something every child has to get used to. I can remember hating school - even in reception, when I had a lovely teacher and lovely friends. I was just a very shy child though and I didn't want to be away from my mum. If she had taken me out of school and homeschooled me it would have been catastrophic in my opinion - I would not have known how to interact properly with other children and I never would have got over my shyness.

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squizita · 10/02/2015 11:29

Agree with all PP.

You'd be bound by the curriculum. They don't teach "sex" at primary, particularly early years. They do teach sensible things like washing, body parts etc.
They teach a variety of religions because that's what we're lucky enough to have in the UK. They don't teach that they're "right" unless you specifically choose a church school. It's just what they're called, what their festivals are called etc.

Most schools have different areas in playgrounds for early years and 12 year olds.

TBH this sounds like you feeling very anxious. Being almost too nervous to find out about what actually happens, expecting something extreme and wanting to hide your dc from it.

Look round different local schools and find out. You may well be reassured.

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MuddhaOfSuburbia · 10/02/2015 11:49

I've home edded and had kids in school so am by no means a school evangelist- or a HE one!

I would really look into your motives for this. Are they about DD? Or more about your own feelings?

Reception offers a huge range of opportunities and activities for dc- a lot of it is free range. Would you be able to offer those opportunities for DD? With two smaller children to look after?

you might- but you'll run yourself into the ground!

as for the playground- ime most schools have a separate area for nursery/reception, another for infants and another for juniors

I would urge you to let her at least have a go. And be positive about it (if you're worried or negative, she will- of course- pick up on that). If you find after a year it's not working for her, by all means take her out

if it's any consolation, she will be amongst the older ones in her class at 4y10m- which will give her an advantage from the start

good luck!

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Mama1980 · 10/02/2015 11:50

Hi I home ed my 7 year old ds and will do his two younger siblings. We are loving it, and he is thriving, however for a number of reasons mainstream education was not something he was ever going to be a good fit with. (He did do a couple of trial days)
It's hard work, we are out practically everyday, going to meet ups, shows, classes....but so much fun.
I'm happy to answer any specific questions you may have and there's a home ed board on here that's great.
if your child is enjoying preschool then de schooling maybe a factor for you. It is your prerogative to educate your child at home if you want but it shouldn't be based on a desire to limit learning or avoid specific subjects. I'm sure the school can reassure you on the issues you mention, or you could look around for a better fit for your child.

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littleraysofsunshine · 10/02/2015 22:19

Of course I'm going to find it so hard to 'let go' so to speak. One of the two schools we've looked at doesn't have separate playgrounds. My little ones also play with their cousins who are older but it can be quite intimidating if parents aren't around I think.

I know it's part of living, and I'm not saying we will hold her back for my own reasons. Like I said before whatever they do it's been child-led. I just think it's such a young age for that next step. Fortunately she will be one of the older ones, I don't have any issue with learning real nans for body parts, I'm just not that ok with them learning stuff that would kind of take the innocence of childhood away, it's unnecessary to have to learn about certain stuff at the age of not even five. We teach our little ones everyday life aspects, skill as do you I bet, so it's not hiding getaway, it's just us wanting the best choice for her. Maybe I just need to do more curriculum research as hearing stuff on the news, or articles may be misleading.

I know most schools have separate parts to the schools for foundation and primary but in this case, one school doesn't.

Did any of you start with the introductory pRt time hours for the first term?

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littleraysofsunshine · 10/02/2015 22:26

Deep deep deep down I know i will miss her like crazy and it's hard to get to grips thinking it's time nearly. We've been through so much together that's the tough part. I would never hold her back, ever. I just don't know what's best... I see people who can make HS work, and I wish I could as she would love it. We do lots at home anyway but to keep it a close connection for our family would be nice. Hard but nice.

Also.. We are hoping to move away in about three to fours years so will be moving them out of whatever school then anyway..

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Mama1980 · 10/02/2015 23:05

Hi again If you are seriously considering home ed I would advise research, research, research. I did for a good year at least. Whereabouts roughly are you? Loads of home ed groups on fb/yahoo etc nearly every area has at least one. I would say go along talk to people. There are many different approaches, some formal, some not. I am completely autonomously educating my son but may do it differently for my younger two, home ed does give you that flexibility.
Likewise with schools see if there's a better fit locally maybe, or if montesourri is a option.
I love home educating my son (initially I did so as my son has a very high IQ not boast here it's just a fact and the schools I spoke too admitted themselves they would have to make special provision for him) it s hard work but so much fun Smile we can do many more trips, much more socialising etc etc. But it's not for everyone nor every child.
Do pop over to the home ed boards, posters with much more experience will be happy to help and talk about their experiences I'm sure.

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MuddhaOfSuburbia · 11/02/2015 12:15

I'm just not that ok with them learning stuff that would kind of take the innocence of childhood away, it's unnecessary to have to learn about certain stuff at the age of not even five.

sunshine, what is it- specifically- you're worried about?

my kids aren't that long out of reception and I genuinely can't think of anything the slightest bit contentious that they did- unless you're worried about dinosaurs Wink

iirc there's nothing even close to sex ed. There's a tiny bit of comparative religion- they made little candles for Diwali. That was the lot

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AMumInScotland · 11/02/2015 12:59

I think you maybe need to find out what schools really teach at that age before worrying on the basis of news headlines - teachers really don't want to take away 'innocence' from children any more than parents do.

Most 'sex and relationships' education is about 'looking after your body' and 'respecting other people' and 'we're all different but that's fine'. They don't get into 'bodies change as you get a bit older' and 'where babies come from' until they are much further through primary school, when some of them are getting towards an age where they need to understand a bit about puberty before it starts happening to them.

I think you have to separate out what you are worried about, and be honest with yourself to what extent it is just plain difficult to let go and accept that other people are going to have more of an influence in her life. If you home educated - and did it well - then you would have to start dealing with that anyway, to give her a range of views and experiences that aren't just about close family.

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OMGmetoo · 11/02/2015 13:10

Unlike PP, I think your reasons for wanting to HE are sound. You're right, nearly-five is very young to start formal education. And sure, it's not that formal in the first year, but then the more mites have to do a lot of sitting and desk work starting in year 1, and a lot of children have trouble with that transition.

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fuzzpig · 11/02/2015 13:31

I agree you should look at the home ed board and read up about it :) but I'd go to visit schools too.

I'm about to start HEing my DS and possibly my DD as well (if she chooses), but I am glad they did try school as well.

I think it's the transition into yr1 that my DS has struggled with.

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MuddhaOfSuburbia · 11/02/2015 14:52

yy transition into Y1

ime there's less of a jump between pre school and reception than there is between reception and Y1

that's when I took DD out, and popped her back in in time for juniors

it worked brilliantly for us

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