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anyone else just a bit crap at this?(13 Posts)
It's probably a Friday thing partly but I think I'm just a bit crap at parenting in general. Two dc, 3.5 and 9 months, and eldest just had chicken pox so we were in quarantine this week. And the baby decided to cut 4 teeth at the same time.
I'm permanently knackered, have worked 6 months in the last 4 years at a job for which it took me ten years to train. I have the world's most helpful dh who only works part time, from home! I know. I've no excuse for finding it hard.
I can't say I find playing with them that fulfilling and, dare I say it, I get bored quite quickly. I am lucky to have an amazing support network of friends in similar situations but I think I thought I'd have it cracked a bit more by now...rather than be cracking up!
Pnd? Possibly, but I'm just not the natural mother i hoped I'd be
though given my own template it's hardly surprising
Anyone else feel like this?
I've no excuse for finding it hard.
Well, that's not true. Parenting is bloody hard, and you've been under house arrest with a sick three year old and a teething baby. That's HARD.
I get absolutely bored to tears trying to play with my DD. I'm not proud of it, but I absolutely loathe it. I watch my DH or my parents playing with her and wonder why I find it so difficult. Possibly because I'm with her 24/7 and they're not, so playing = enjoying her, whereas to me it's just a chore.
I'm not very good at playing either.
I'm fact we've watched Telly all day today pretty much because I have a cold and am knackered.
My DH is awesome at making games out of nothing but I really struggle. I'm putting it partly down to months of broken sleep.
I'm the same, I hate playing.
I'm at uni at the mo so only really have dd for 3 days a week and even that proves too much for me. I feel so guilty for it but I'm just so tired and 3 year olds are hard!
I am so awful at playing with ds3, even more so now with ds4m around. I get soooooo bored by it, and get distracted by housework or ds2 so quickly. I feel very sorry for ds1 as he really likes having someone to play with! Looking forward to ds2 getting older so they can hopefully play together.
Honestly if that's a sign of a bad parent I'm probably the worst in the world! I prefer to be out of the house, if we're in the tv is on more often than not.
I did read a very good article the other day that made some good points specifically that adults often find playing with children boring because it IS boring!
Thanks all, yes tory I think I probably do better out the house too - but the stress and hassle involved to get out the bloody door put me off! Currently doing controlled crying with the baby - just what I need after today. Torn between doing the sensible thing and going to bed, and actually having some time to myself. Sigh. It gets better right?
I have a DS who is seven and the years before he started at pre-school were my idea of hell on earth sometimes! I often used to resort to sticking the TV on and letting the telly tubbies do the work so I could actually read something grown up for five minutes instead of Thomas the Tank Engine or whatever.
Once he was at pre school for four half days a week it got much better. He was learning at pre school and I seemed to find it easier to latch onto that so we'd follow up stuff at home - if he'd done painting at pre school we'd do some the following day for example. It was like they gave me some ideas.
Now he's at full time school it's become a different sort of pressure, homework, making sure he's ready for the next day, sorting out the tiffs with friends etc, but that sometimes seems a doddle compared to the endless keeping him amused when he was a toddler. So yes, it does get better (or at least, different, depending on your stress levels!)
I'm undoubtedly the shittiest mother in the world.
I'm a SAHM, only have 1, am bored senseless of playing all day long and don't have any friends. Playgroups aren't my thing, as I've learned time and again. We've moved to a new town and I don't fit in with the other mums.
DD starts preschool in September and I have no doubt she'll make friends and love it because there will be interesting, energetic and fun people to play with. But it's only JANUARY...
So, to me, you're a star.
You just had a bad day, and we're all allowed those. Even the best of us.
Yanbu it is Groundhog Day and boring when they are little. I would go back to work if I was you.
I've managed to let me MH seriously decline before realising. My DD IS 2.4 and a good kid but it is hard. I tend to take her out a lot, so time in doors with the tv is not so bad. Winter is worse - in the summer the garden takes the pressure off.
I work from home so work is always there for me - great as I'm earning but I do feel the guilt.
DH on the other hand; doesn't really do going out but does play with her and enjoy it!
My friends are great but they have their own issues - its hard to find rl friends to confide in.
mummy I'm sure you're not a shit mum - we're our own worst enemy sometimes. And heels , a return to work is the conclusion I'm coming to as well, but that's easier said than done as the job market for my profession is dire. Dd is also still a boob monster...
ginger - hope you're okay? I can't remember how it feels to be confident in what I'm doing and feel I'm doing a good job. But I'm definitely not being a good parent right now so something needs to give - and preferably not my sanity!
I had benign neglect down to a fine art with ds, but dd isn't so forgiving and I'm running on empty.
Oh, and ds is a september baby - so another 18 months before school!
I think you may be right Misty
Heels-I can't work for health/child care reasons. My anxiety/depression affects me working and we really can't afford childcare without the extra income.
I've no advice, but you're lucky to have a support network. Take advantage would be my only suggestion-we're all not meant to do this alone.
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