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anyone else just a bit crap at this?

(13 Posts)
Misty9 Fri 30-Jan-15 15:12:22

It's probably a Friday thing partly but I think I'm just a bit crap at parenting in general. Two dc, 3.5 and 9 months, and eldest just had chicken pox so we were in quarantine this week. And the baby decided to cut 4 teeth at the same time.

I'm permanently knackered, have worked 6 months in the last 4 years at a job for which it took me ten years to train. I have the world's most helpful dh who only works part time, from home! I know. I've no excuse for finding it hard.

I can't say I find playing with them that fulfilling and, dare I say it, I get bored quite quickly. I am lucky to have an amazing support network of friends in similar situations but I think I thought I'd have it cracked a bit more by now...rather than be cracking up!

Pnd? Possibly, but I'm just not the natural mother i hoped I'd be though given my own template it's hardly surprising

Anyone else feel like this?

seaoflove Fri 30-Jan-15 15:16:14

I've no excuse for finding it hard.

Well, that's not true. Parenting is bloody hard, and you've been under house arrest with a sick three year old and a teething baby. That's HARD.

I get absolutely bored to tears trying to play with my DD. I'm not proud of it, but I absolutely loathe it. I watch my DH or my parents playing with her and wonder why I find it so difficult. Possibly because I'm with her 24/7 and they're not, so playing = enjoying her, whereas to me it's just a chore.

Schweetheart Fri 30-Jan-15 15:18:53

I'm not very good at playing either.

I'm fact we've watched Telly all day today pretty much because I have a cold and am knackered.

My DH is awesome at making games out of nothing but I really struggle. I'm putting it partly down to months of broken sleep.

MishMooshAndMogwai Fri 30-Jan-15 15:21:55

I'm the same, I hate playing.

I'm at uni at the mo so only really have dd for 3 days a week and even that proves too much for me. I feel so guilty for it but I'm just so tired and 3 year olds are hard!

Tory79 Fri 30-Jan-15 18:34:40

I am so awful at playing with ds3, even more so now with ds4m around. I get soooooo bored by it, and get distracted by housework or ds2 so quickly. I feel very sorry for ds1 as he really likes having someone to play with! Looking forward to ds2 getting older so they can hopefully play together.

Honestly if that's a sign of a bad parent I'm probably the worst in the world! I prefer to be out of the house, if we're in the tv is on more often than not.

I did read a very good article the other day that made some good points specifically that adults often find playing with children boring because it IS boring!

Misty9 Fri 30-Jan-15 19:12:19

Thanks all, yes tory I think I probably do better out the house too - but the stress and hassle involved to get out the bloody door put me off! Currently doing controlled crying with the baby - just what I need after today. Torn between doing the sensible thing and going to bed, and actually having some time to myself. Sigh. It gets better right?

Esmum07 Fri 30-Jan-15 19:23:26

I have a DS who is seven and the years before he started at pre-school were my idea of hell on earth sometimes! I often used to resort to sticking the TV on and letting the telly tubbies do the work so I could actually read something grown up for five minutes instead of Thomas the Tank Engine or whatever.

Once he was at pre school for four half days a week it got much better. He was learning at pre school and I seemed to find it easier to latch onto that so we'd follow up stuff at home - if he'd done painting at pre school we'd do some the following day for example. It was like they gave me some ideas.

Now he's at full time school it's become a different sort of pressure, homework, making sure he's ready for the next day, sorting out the tiffs with friends etc, but that sometimes seems a doddle compared to the endless keeping him amused when he was a toddler. So yes, it does get better (or at least, different, depending on your stress levels!)

MummyBeerest Fri 30-Jan-15 19:24:25

I'm undoubtedly the shittiest mother in the world.

I'm a SAHM, only have 1, am bored senseless of playing all day long and don't have any friends. Playgroups aren't my thing, as I've learned time and again. We've moved to a new town and I don't fit in with the other mums.

DD starts preschool in September and I have no doubt she'll make friends and love it because there will be interesting, energetic and fun people to play with. But it's only JANUARY...

So, to me, you're a star.

You just had a bad day, and we're all allowed those. Even the best of us.

Heels99 Fri 30-Jan-15 19:29:52

Yanbu it is Groundhog Day and boring when they are little. I would go back to work if I was you.

GingerDoodle Fri 30-Jan-15 20:13:27

I've managed to let me MH seriously decline before realising. My DD IS 2.4 and a good kid but it is hard. I tend to take her out a lot, so time in doors with the tv is not so bad. Winter is worse - in the summer the garden takes the pressure off.

I work from home so work is always there for me - great as I'm earning but I do feel the guilt.

DH on the other hand; doesn't really do going out but does play with her and enjoy it!

My friends are great but they have their own issues - its hard to find rl friends to confide in.

Misty9 Fri 30-Jan-15 22:13:31

mummy I'm sure you're not a shit mum - we're our own worst enemy sometimes. And heels , a return to work is the conclusion I'm coming to as well, but that's easier said than done as the job market for my profession is dire. Dd is also still a boob monster...

ginger - hope you're okay? I can't remember how it feels to be confident in what I'm doing and feel I'm doing a good job. But I'm definitely not being a good parent right now so something needs to give - and preferably not my sanity!

I had benign neglect down to a fine art with ds, but dd isn't so forgiving and I'm running on empty.

Misty9 Fri 30-Jan-15 22:15:28

Oh, and ds is a september baby - so another 18 months before school! shock

MummyBeerest Sat 31-Jan-15 00:50:09

I think you may be right Misty

Heels-I can't work for health/child care reasons. My anxiety/depression affects me working and we really can't afford childcare without the extra income.

I've no advice, but you're lucky to have a support network. Take advantage would be my only suggestion-we're all not meant to do this alone.

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