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Has your child ever said dark things? "I hate myself"

(4 Posts)

My 7 year old ds is worrying me, not sure how to proceed. He had mild asd and often gets frustrated or upset and then says he hates himself, hates his life. 5 minutes before/later he's cheerful and happy and "can I have a biscuit, mum?" confused

The other day he said something about killing himself BUT it was straight after a general wittering about killing (zombies etc) then said "someone should kill me. I'll kill myself" so I'm not sure whether to take that seriously even a little bit because maybe he was thinking out loud whilst chatting about killing zombies. But it has still rattled me, I really don't like these words coming out of his mouth.

He's my baby, he watches KIDS tv, plays kids games like skylanders, reads kids books. We don't let him watch inappropriate stuff ever, we don't talk about killing anybody, never mind people who kill themselves. We have never said we hated him, or each other. I don't know where he's got this from.

He might be doing it for attention (he certainly got some when he first started saying he hated himself) but I'm worried he's depressed. He wakes up grumpy and spoiling for a fight with his younger sister most mornings, he announced this morning that he knew today was going to be totally dismal.

The other day one of our fish died and he said he was "grieving" over it. We've never discussed grief so I'm guessing that must be from school. He has nightmares most nights, screaming and shouting.

They taught him about hell recently at school and it's scared the shit out of him. I've just asked to have a word with his teacher before Easter because every year they confuse him and scare him with the crucifixion/resurrection story.

To be honest I'm not even sure if they should be teaching it to autistic kids with very rigid thinking styles. He takes it all extremely literally and I'd rather he just didn't have to learn it when I'm the one dealing with his fears and nightmares. He can't handle it. I've already mentioned the "I hate myself" to the teacher.

How are you meant to react when they speak like that? I never know when I should ignore, when I should listen and reassure, when I should investigate where on earth he's heard this from.

Droflove Wed 21-Jan-15 16:32:08

Im not sure what to suggest, kids can say very strange things but I would feel worried like you are feeling (might well be unfounded!). I think what I would do is speak to the GP and get a referral for a psychological evaluation. I would think that they can do this very sensitively for a young child, as in they wouldn't know what was going on, just that they were having a chat with the doctor etc. So talk to your GP OP, that is what they are there for.

Mirandafart Wed 21-Jan-15 16:44:25

You need to approach the school head. A lot of schools are doing emotional support (ELSA) they will speak to your child and assess his current worries and anxiety. My son is 10 and we are in the middle of having him evaluated by the school ed psych after a school assessment. I also went to my gp who referred my DS to a paediatrician, who has now referred him to cmhs for assessment. Good luck

mrsruffallo Wed 21-Jan-15 16:48:30

I think it's fairly common. I think they want to see the response they get primarily, or how it feels to say the words. Coming to terms with death is a natural stage all children go through around your son's age. Some sail through it, others are distraught. Just keep talking to him, I am sure that deep down he is secure and happy. It will pass.
How is his sleep? How long have the nightmares been going on?

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