Is there anywhere you can drop two toddlers off for a few hours when you are having a complete meltdown and can't cope anymore?

[shattered77]

I was thinking in terms of Ikea (one hour from age 3) etc. I'm just having a crappy time at the moment and support network has disappeared suddenly. DC are one and three and don't feel strong enough to take them out and deal with constant tantrums etc. hopefully I'll feel back to my strong self soon. Just wondered if I was missing a trick!

[icklekid]

Gym creche? Sorry to hear it's hard- I struggle with one ds and have friends who will take him when hard work!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

If you really are on the edge then book a baby-sitter for a few hours and either go to bed or go out and get some peace.

Its very hard when you are a SAHP with no regular childcare, I can remember feeling that desperation more than once.

If the babsitter isn't an option then I used to put a film on for mine and either doze on the sofa or retreat to my bed for half an hour with a cuppa.

Chin up, it gets better :)

[shattered77]

Yes, was actually considering joining gym just for the crèche. Might actually be worth looking into. Thanks for your reply.

[juliascurr]

this might help
www.home-start.org.uk/

[shattered77]

Thanks, I'd never thought of a babysitter. You know those days when the slightest thing sends you to rage or tears . hope the kids don't remember these crappy days where we don't leave the house and just clash. Have zero energy to summon up anything constructive to do. Poor lambs .

[MontserratCaballe]

Shattered, do you know any local teenagers who might be able to help? I used to have a 17y girl come to help me put the kids to bed once a week then she would stay for a couple of hours so I could go for a run, a swim or whatever. Having the regularity made a lot of difference and was not bank breaking.

I agree that a DVD and a snooze on the sofa will do everyone good. Or make a cake so that you are occupied and get cake at the end. It is very tough when they are small but it gets much easier as they get older.

Chin up.

[shattered77]

re local teenagers, that's a really good idea! I guess a large part of it is recognising that you do need help, and that it's ok to need help. I used to have lots of free help from family but they are suddenly unable to help and I find myself quite isolated and struggling. Husband works a minimum of twelve hours a day so not much help with the kids there. I usually can get perspective and see the bigger picture but not lately!

[UriGeller]

I've got a 1 and 3 year old too so I know what it's like! If you're anywhere near me, I'll have them for a bit. The more the merrier!

[shattered77]

ha ha uri!! Be careful what you offer!! Just been researching childminders etc. We can't afford it but if things get too bad we might have to!!

[roundtable]

Could your 3 year old go to preschool? Is she/he eligible for funding yet?

If you can do it for the time your 1 year old naps you can get a regular couple of hours to recharge.

I sympathise, similar age gap. It's wearing.

[shattered77]

The three year old attends every day til one, then comes home and wreaks havoc . Mornings are crazy getting things done time. Then it's how to disappear those six hours from one til bedtime. I realise this probably shouldn't be horrendous, but it is!!!

[Leo35]

Second getting a babysitter for an afternoon shift or something like that. I never had the type of children who recognised 'quiet time'! Take care of yourself.

[SeasonsEatings]

my nursery offers a drop in Creche facility, one off fee to register, might be worth asking a few?

[shattered77]

Thanks there are some great suggestions here. Some options I hadn't known existed. Yes, very "lively" children who haven't decided if they quite like each other yet. This thread has made me realise I'm going to arrange to have an afternoon to myself each week. OMG, imagine...

[campingfilth]

It was horrendous for me and I only had one and escaped to work too! Try local colleges that do childcare qualifications, scout groups (the older kids one) etc that might want to do voluntary work. Try your sure start centre as well. get 'how to talk so children listen' if you haven't already as that changed my afternoons/days/nights of constant stress to a lot more calmer times.

[BertieBotts]

Find some friends in a similar position and swap!

[shattered77]

Will try all those things, pretty desperate. I've done the parenting courses, seen HV etc, as have always had my hands full behaviour wise. Haven't really got any friends, and have lost all confidence / patience with taking them out on my own. Perhaps with a break each week I'll be more energised to deal with them. Oh well only a few years left

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I know how you feel op, I had a baby sitter 3x a week when ds was about 2.5 as I was finding it REALLY hard. It helped enormously but I would suggest doing it regularly rather than waiting until you feel desperate

[furcoatbigknickers]

I have 1 of my four still at home, hes just 2 sbd i find him very gard work sometimes. It got to the point were i needed a break, feeling desperate so hes starting nursery two school days from january. I cannot wait.

[Mrsfrumble]

You have my sympathy! Mine have just turned 4 and 2. The 4 year old is extremely hard work and we have no support network here; we live abroad so no extended family and none of our friends here are in a position to help.

I agree with snuggling up on the sofa with drinks and snacks. We do this far too often, but it's the only thing that distracts them from fighting and trashing the house. DS starts preschool tomorrow, it's just for 3 mornings a week but I'm so relieved!

[Mrsfrumble]

That should be snuggling on the sofa with a film and snacks!

[shattered77]

I feel that as I'm a stay at home mum, if I'm not looking after them then I'm just being a stay at home i.e. lazy. I can't help thinking that if I can't manage to look after them I should just go back to work, but I really do believe in being at home whilst they are pre-school.

[furcoatbigknickers]

Shattered, i couldn't disagree more.

[shattered77]

furcoat, I see now that view is completely wrong, but I'm worried that's how DH and others may view me.

[Doublethecuddles]

Speak to your Heath Visitor, she may be able to fix you up with a Home Start volunteer, who would come in a few hours one afternoon. A volunteer will do a range of things, even just make you a cup of tea, and they will play with the children.