Family members going behind your back

[littleraysofsunshine]

Ok to some this may be minimal but it's pissed me off.

My MIL has been told a few times now not to give our dds dummies. (Just 4 and 2.5) our 2.5yo has one for bed time only. It suits her and us otherwise she gets miserable.

However... Dd1 just showed me a photo of her and little sister casually enjoying dummies when at grannies on Monday. And she said grannie gives us them all the time.

How would you deal with this? It causes issues in our house then as I get annoyed and dp then gets offended if I "go on".. I know it's not his fault but we've bloody old her about four times now and she is still thinking we won't find out? And the last time we confronted her - she giggled.

[littleraysofsunshine]

Thing is, it's making me question what else they're being allowed, or do.

[bloodyteenagers]

Then why is she having unsupervised contact?
She does things that are behind your back, giggles when pulled about it, and has no regard to the wishes of the parents..

[Foxbiscuitselection]

Then book unsupervised contact. Simple.

[Foxbiscuitselection]

No unsupervised contact

[Monathevampire1]

No unsupervised contact - simple.

[DoughnutSelfie]

Yep supervised all the way.

Granny's had her chance, and more. She blew it.

No need to make a big fuss about it, just always accompany the children there, you or husband.

[purplemurple1]

Have you explained that your dentist has told you the children shouldn't have dummies as it is affecting their teeth. Or the doctor has said no dummies as it is delaying speech? She may not understand the reasons are important.

But I think I would also just stay with the kids.

[littleraysofsunshine]

Then I look like bad cop to my children.

We spend lots if lovely time with them. It's only the dummy issue that's got time ,three times)

[littleraysofsunshine]

An the occasion fur when we need a sitter, she's our usual one. Any other time it's lovely and were all very close. Just can't see why she has done it. SIL said it was because they were crying, when they don't. Even if dd gets upset in the day we cuddle or help her not offer a sodding dummy.

Do is having words with her today

[BertieBotts]

Maybe I'm against the grain but I would say what's the big deal? They're not going to want them when they're (say) ten and they know the rule is no at home. I'm guessing they aren't at granny's house that often, so I'd let it go. But if she's caring for them regularly e.g. after school then yes try again to address and if not working change the arrangement.