Co-sleepers please come and share

[NotMessitsOrganisedChaos]

Hi, have name changed recently but I am fairly active on mumsnet, just wanted to share something a little personal, in the hope of advice....DS is 8mold and we co-sleep. We have pretty much co-slept since he was born, as he hated the cradle and would always wake within half an hour of being placed in there. It's the same with his cot now, he will not stay settled in there and will put up a screaming fest if he is put in it, but he will sleep through the night some nights now, in our bed obviously, and as I am breastfeeding, it's easy to just feed, and settle straight away. It's not gonna be forever, but we quite enjoy co sleeping at the moment, BUT:

Our sex life is dire!! There, I have said it! and it's now becoming a real problem in our marriage. We have dtd 4 times since DS was born, and we used to be fairly active. These times were the brief moments when DS was asleep in the Moses basket, after I had moved him there on his sleep, needless to say, we were interrupted by his wakings. There is no way we could dtd with him in the bed, but now we can't even do it with him the room, he is a very light sleeper, and DH has said he doesn't feel comfortable doing it next to a sleeping baby, who will no doubt wake very soon so the pressure is on to get it over and done with quickly and quietly.
We have no family around, to babysit for the night, and I am breastfeeding so that isn't really an option.

So, co sleepers, please tell me, do I really have to choose between good sex, and a goodnight sleep?

[NotMessitsOrganisedChaos]

Do you mean while we dtd? That's what we have been doing, moving him out our bed to cot, but he has woken every single time. :-(

[smaths]

Can you get frisky elsewhere in the house? sofa, maybe?

[ChickenFromHell]

Notmess we cosleep so know how you're feeling

DD is the same and will wake in her cot after 45 mins of being in there, so we move her to her cot and have a window of time for any activity to take place (very regimented )

But you also have to use your imagination when it comes to using other rooms.... So cushion bed on the living room floor, spare bed if you have one, the stairs (not comfy at all IMO), sofa, etc - It's possible but you have to disassociate your bed with sex.

[MummyLuce]

But surely your DS goes to bed before you? Do it when he's in bed but before you get into bed (that's what we do, and we have co slept with our 21 month old for ages).

[Estrellita]

We had a futon in the lounge that could be pulled out for a quick and easy bed when we wanted, um, privacy, and baby was in our lovely king size bed...

[ZebraZeebra]

Pretty much the same as Estrellita - you need a second bed! We have a sofa bed as DH sometimes has to get up mega early for clients so sleeps downstairs. Any friskiness is done when DS is in bed or alternatively - if he's napping downstairs on the sofa, we go upstairs to bed. Having sex in a lovely big bed is quite a novelty now!

[hellymelly]

As a co-sleeper of nine years standing, I say well done for even having the energy to dtd with such a young baby. i think I managed it about twice until my dd was 18m old, and then I got upduffed haha. Anyway I will say sofa, and i will say bed-in-spare-room. Not so much spontaneous sex, i grant you, but better than none.

[ZebraZeebra]

I actually managed some spontaneous sex the other day! Well, spontaneous for DH. He was upstairs having a (sanctioned) lie in. DS had been up since six and passed out cold at 9.45 for a nap on the sofa. So I legged it upstairs to wake DH for something nice instead of lame old getting-up-for-work. I was well pleased with myself

[ikeaismylocal]

We have sex on the sofa, ds wakes as soon as dp touches my boobs if we are in the same room as him, it's like he has an invisable alar set around my boobs to stop people stealing his milk ;)

My sister said how stupid co-sleeping is as how on earth do you have sex when there is a baby in the bed!? Dp replied that ds wasn't conceived in our bed and we were childless at the time.

I am pregnant with dc2 so there are ways!

[ChickenFromHell]

at that stealth boast Zebra

[worldgonecrazy]

I bought a big fur rug to go in front of the fire, floor cushions etc. so we could make it snug and cosy for dtd. It helps that our sofa is massive too, about the size of a large single bed with all the cushions off. Then there's the kitchen, the dining room, the bathroom, the office ....

It's not for ever and it does get better. DD is now 4 and still sleeps with us most nights, but we manage to dtd at other times. She will also go into her own bed some nights too, or we move her if we fancy actually doing it in bed.

[ZebraZeebra]

Hahaha chickenfromhell it wasn't even stealthy, it was full on blatant boasting. I was very pleased with myself - it's been about 468346590 years since I did anything like that

I was not at all motivated by the fact I am desperate for DC2 and might have been ovulating. Oh no, no sirree Bob.

[BertieBotts]

Yep you do it elsewhere :) Mind you DS was a heavy sleeper. We did it with him scooted over into a bedside cot sometimes.

[ZuleikaD]

Yep elsewhere. Over the kitchen sink, bathroom, sofa, spare room... Agree also that naptimes and mornings are generally a better bet than evenings! Get the practice in now before another one comes along and your windows of opportunity are even smaller (we have three DCs and only manage it once or twice a week now.)

[badidea]

Nooky on the sofa once they're down for the night (works for us :-) And the occassional afternoon session at weekends when DS1 is away at his gparents and DS2 has a nap.