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Primary Parent going away for 8 days

(5 Posts)
RichardInBermuda Tue 25-Mar-14 00:32:49

In just over a month I have to go away for an 8 day trip; our 3 month old daughter will be left with my 7 month pregnant wife. Its a long story but this was the best way to do the trip (I need to go to Australia to activate an immigration visa.)
We live in Bermuda and have no family here, so my wife is going to be on her own. I keen to make things as easy as possible for her.
I think its fair to describe my self as the primary parent. I look after our daughter in the morning, take her and collect her from nursery, put her to bed etc so I spend more time with her than my wife. When she falls over she cries for daddy.

Does anyone have any idea on the best way to deal with my absence?
Should I say nothing and just leave, or explain as best I can that I'm going away?
Should I video call on skype whilst away or will this just be upsetting?

A few facts
I leave on a saturday and return on a sunday.
During the week my daughter goes to nursery 8-5.

Thanks for your knowledge and advice.

Brittapieandchips Tue 25-Mar-14 00:46:40

How is the baby 3 months and the pregnancy 7 months?

ExBrightonBell Tue 25-Mar-14 00:53:32

I'm assuming you mean 3 year old, not 3 month old?

I would explain and prepare her in advance, and place the emphasis on reassuring her. Yes to Skyping etc every day, and you need to make sure that you don't undermine your wife by implying she might not cope.

Your dd might get upset and cry for you, but it's perfectly ok and your wife will find a way to comfort her.

I would also get your dw to be involved a bit more in the routine before you go.

Wurstwitch Tue 25-Mar-14 01:06:54

Kids are notoriously fickle and change their minds about who they cry for when they a re hurt, for months at a time.

It's a great opportunity for your wife to spend some time with her dd alone before the sibling arrives. If the 3yo is in nursery, she will be fine, but it will be hard work 7 mos pg on the weekend days.

Don't call your dd. call your wife when the dd will be in bed and give her the support she needs.

And less of the primary parent bull. Both parents should be interchangeable. It's not a newborn that you are breast feeding. She's a pre-schooler and will be fine with her mum, in exactly the same way that if it were your wife going away as the 'primary parent', she would be fine with you.

Suggest your wife plans something to do on the first Sunday and the last Saturday, like meet up with friends.

Also suggest that the dd doesn't need a bath every night. She'll be fine, and it will be hard work to bathe a wriggly kid at 7 mos.

Have a nice trip.

Fantail Tue 25-Mar-14 06:25:54

My DD is 3 and DH is currently away on a 2 week trip.

Yes to FaceTime or Skype, but don't be disappointed if she loses interest after a minute or so.

Yes to planning weekend activities, helps the day go quicker. Make sure house is clean, and fridge is fully stocked before leaving.

Next time DH goes away (July) we are going to do a calendar and cross off the days until Daddy gets back.

Definitely tell her that you are going away, but that you will be back. Don't expect her to understand. DD frequently asks if Daddy is still on the plane. We also try and go to the airport and see Dad off.

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