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Ds no longer goes to sleep for Dh any advice?

(3 Posts)
Ginnytonic82 Thu 20-Mar-14 20:45:39

From the first day we had Ds at home Dh and I have worked together and shared out taking care of Ds as equally as possible. Ds has reflux (now being successfully managed), and the first few months were very difficult, Dh was amazing, even when he went back to work and often took Ds so I could have a break.

Once the reflux was in hand we started to use a bedtime routine with Ds, which consists of bath, massage, pjs, bottle and story. Ds has always fought sleep so whilst reading we gently rock and pat him, which sometimes works. Other times Ds does get himself worked up, which is really upsetting, but we just persevere rocking and cuddling until he calms and sleeps.

About 3 weeks ago Ds wouldn't go down for Dh at all after 40 mins I could hear Ds crying loudly. Dh was, as always, gently cuddling Ds and rocking him. However Ds seemed to get more and more upset. I took him as we have always helped each other if Ds is having a difficult episode. Within minutes Ds was asleep. Now he certainly doesn't fall asleep so easily every time it's my turn, and Dh has helped me in the past. But, since that evening Ds will not go to sleep for Dh and will just get more and more distressed until I come up. Poor Dh is really upset and feels like he's being a crap dad! He still spends as much time as he can outside work playing, talking, cuddling and feeding Ds, and Ds clearly loves his daddy, but why won't he let Dh put him to bed? We've tried doing the bedtime together, but if I hand Ds over to Dh he screams blue murder. Can anyone offer us any tips or advice on how to get Ds back to going down for Dh please? Ds is 22 weeks and our first.

lola88 Thu 20-Mar-14 21:01:59

No advice but mine is 25mo and has been doing the same thing for about 6 weeks he is happy to play with DP and DP do his bath but when it comes to bedtime he cries for me unless he knows i'm out of the house then he is fine. It's really getting DP down and i'm finding it hard always doing bedtime and wakings but we just keep reminding each other it will pass.

Ginnytonic82 Thu 20-Mar-14 21:12:38

Thanks for your reply Lola at least we're not alone. It's so tough. I've not actually been out and missed bedtime for the past few weeks as I'd feel so guilty to Dh and Ds, but maybe I should try popping out to see if it makes a difference? Not sure if Ds is old enough to realise I'm out though!

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