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How do I help DS have a more positive attitude?

(9 Posts)
Cleanandclothed Thu 20-Mar-14 16:12:45

I am sure this is normal but it drives me nuts. If there is something DS doesn't want to do, he wriggles, argues, doesn't concentrate, and everything ends up taking 5 times longer!
Eg reading homework. He loves being read to, he is OK at reading and his books are well within his capabilities. We are asked to get him to read 3 times a week, and each 'reading book' would take him less than 5 minutes if he would concentrate.
But his default reaction is 'I don't want to, I cant do it, it is hard, it is boring'. This is every time. Not due to tiredness, hunger, lack of play etc, beacuse true whenever we do it. When/if he does concentrate he can rattle it off, but this is very rare.

How can I encourage him to have an 'I can do it' attitude, and how can I get him to see that messing around is a waste of his time?

Cleanandclothed Thu 20-Mar-14 16:13:35

PS should have said he is 5.5.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 20-Mar-14 20:06:02

I agree this delaying tactic is normal. I recall being annoyed when I expressed concerns and was told, "In some other countries children only start school when they are 7!"

I am glad to hear DS enjoys you reading to him. Read to him as much as possible, and then ask him questions about what just happened in the story. Or ask him about something that might occur, if he says “I don’t know, tell me,” that’s your trigger to keep reading by turning the page.

Trying to work DCs on learning the alphabet and practising reading can be a battleground. They hate it, we get frustrated. We're there to guide and support our DCs' learning not wage war when everyone's had a long day.

Pick an un-hurried time of day when DS is ready to learn, and in the meantime get him to pick out letters and words in everyday life, on cereal packets and signage etc. He may not be interested in reading skills and reading enough at this age, but even in 12 months he could love to read.

I know we want to instil good habits early on. Otoh if learning becomes pressured and unpleasant for a 5 or 6 yo DC, think what a lasting effect that could have later on in school. He will learn at his own pace, it'll all fall into place.

hodt11 Fri 21-Mar-14 00:02:51

Tbh I think it's horrendous that we parents are being asked to do so much homework reading. The kids are in school for 4 and a half hours Monday to Friday, they should be doing the reading there. I love reading stories to my kids but I hate hate the reading homework, and do does my dd . She is six and the stories she is able to read are very dul. It causes lots of trouble among parents and their children and they're in school long enough

tostaky Fri 21-Mar-14 06:47:39

When I struggle to make him read his reading book, I make him do "hidden reading". Think grated courgette hidden in tomato sauce.
So for example, I would do a board game/a recipe/a card game or another fun activity and I will ask him to read whatever text there is when it is his turn to play or do or help.
He is happy to read because it is fun, he might not practise his key words, but he encounters more difficult words and try to sounds them out and to me it is as good as.

toomuchtooold Fri 21-Mar-14 06:56:14

I remember at that age or a little older getting actually tired from reading out loud and what my mum would do is take over the reading but do some of the words wrong and get me to point it out e.g. if it said "the bus went up Hill Street" she'd read "the bus drove up Hill Street". It meant I could read silently and she could check my understanding.

Delphiniumsblue Fri 21-Mar-14 07:10:37

There isn't time in school! If each child gets a mere 5 minutes that will take an hour and a half and for an hour and 25 minutes of that they have to be in a 'holding' activity where they are managing without the teacher. Even then 5 minutes isn't long enough.

BookABooSue Fri 21-Mar-14 09:05:07

A teacher friend times her dd! Not in a pressured way but a fun way ie 'come on dc, we've got 5/10/15 mins starting from now. On your marks, get set, go!' It overcomes the initial 'I don't want to/can't be bothered/ hate it, etc'

Cleanandclothed Fri 21-Mar-14 12:23:14

Thanks all - please keep suggestions coming. I sometimes do timing, I will try to do better on 'hidden reading'. I don't think he is good enough at silent reading to correct me yet but I could try.

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