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Your opinions on Gina Ford's contented babies and toddlers? how much is tosh?

(40 Posts)
Giraffinalaugh Wed 10-Jul-13 21:40:40

Just that really. Ive got a 6w old and started reading today as sleep and settling him down is just a nightmare.

A lot of it seemed like obvious normal common sense to me. Some good advice too. Some bits im undecided on and seem a little rigid.

What are your experiences? Have her routines and tips changed any of your lives drastically? Im not sure i want to implement any of them until im decided. But i have a baby who only seems to sleep on my chest and its driving me nuts. Screams so so loud when you take him away.

BlueSkySunnyDay Wed 10-Jul-13 22:30:35

Used it with DC1 brilliantly, absolutely no chance with DC2. I think if you try to force an unwilling baby to do it you will make yourself very miserable - if the timings work with your baby it is a great help but I wouldn't follow it religiously.

But sorry can no longer see her name on here without thinking of the (very funny) comment that caused all the trouble grin I still think of her a SWMNBN (she who must not be named)

Is there a big flashing red light at MN HQ which goes off when one of these threads starts?

Sleepwhenidie Wed 10-Jul-13 22:31:42

Lots of good advice here, all in the same vein! If you feel you need a routine and your baby will benefit, try it, but please don't feel bad or like you can't "do it" properly if it doesn't work. Babies and adults are all different and tbh a lot depends on your life and demands on your time - eg do you really need to know exactly when your baby will be sleeping/eating etc at any given time (maybe because you have to go to work) or does it not really matter because you are home/with baby all the time so it doesn't really matter and you could just go with the flow? I could certainly imagine needing a strict routine with twins/triplets (especially with siblings around) as threebee describes grin.

A gentler approach to a routine is the Baby Whisperer if you are interested in an alternative, it sort of lets you feel your own way to a routine rather than the strict clock watching/blackout blind etc dictated advised by GF.

Facepalmninja Wed 10-Jul-13 22:32:46

I wonder if sleeping side-car way would suit you and your family better? Putting the cot next to bed with rail down (or off if you can bridge gap between beds and fix cot so that it is locked). That way you all have some space and your baby is close to you.

Bullets Wed 10-Jul-13 22:38:03

I can't believe this is still here??!!

JethroTull Wed 10-Jul-13 22:42:44

I don't see what all the fuss is about. GF has a theory. If you read her book and think it will work, give it a go. If you think it sounds like a crock of shit, don't bother. People have different theories about all sorts of things. If you're a theory person, read a few books & see what take your fancy.

thedicewoman Wed 10-Jul-13 22:43:39

I'd also like to add that I've never done the " baby MUST be sleeping in cot" for every sleep, you have to make it work for you too, my sil never left the bloody house between 12-2 for 2 years just nonsense. I agree with a lot of posters that it may just not suit your baby,I guess I was lucky that it suited then and me, and also that I didn't/ don't let it rule my life, rather it fits in with our lives.

glitch Wed 10-Jul-13 22:44:56

Shhhhhh, we don't talk about swmnbn!!! grin

JethroTull Wed 10-Jul-13 22:59:40

Glitch why? (Seriously, what's occurred in the past?)

Giraffinalaugh Wed 10-Jul-13 23:01:24

God thanks for all of the advice, I'm just finding it a bit overwhelming and confused about what I want at the moment.
I had never really looked into books and after an awful couple of nights picked up the gf book by chance in tescos today in utter desperation for anything.
I can tell by reading it that the rigid routine isn't for me but bits of it do seem like good ideas. I just really can't fathom that if he has had enough to eat and the right amount of stimulation that he will go down on his own in a darkened room after wind down time. How does she mean to do that with babies like mine? Just leaving them to cry? I couldn't this young. Maybe I need to keep reading, or try the baby whisperer, or just trust my instincts if I knew what they were telling me.
I have no judgements against people that do, I just really couldn't co sleep. Trust me, if anyone was going to roll over on to their baby it would be me, I'm clumsy as anything! I've had his Moses basket literally right next to my bed and sometimes I've put it on the floor and slept next to it but it does nothing. I know I'll get through it but I just want to see him happy and content in a way that feels safe for us. It's driving me mad.

DocMarten Wed 10-Jul-13 23:31:52

jeth - have a google all will be revealed

MillionPramMiles Thu 11-Jul-13 09:02:50

I think its no more or less tosh than other baby routine books (eg baby whisperer, No Cry Sleep Solution etc). I'd suggest trying the principles that you think might work for you and see if they suit your baby. If they don't, there are plenty of other books that suggest different approaches to try.

There are no guaranteed, fail safe ways to get a baby to sleep successfully (though most maternity nurses are confidant that if they apply GF to a newborn from day one, it will fall into the routine within a couple of weeks). A lot is down to luck/genes and your baby's personality. So don't kick yourself if something you try doesn't work.

Lots of parents convince themselves that their babies fantastic sleep routine is down to their parenting but it's unlikely that's the case. As many parents of a fantastic sleeper have found out with their second child...

SquidgersMummy Thu 11-Jul-13 09:04:09

Attachment is much more important. Just enjoy these early weeks. You know your baby best and what the best thing is to do. Even when you think you don't. Babies have very little memory capacity so routines are for mums - not babies. Your baby is tiny. It's the 4th trimester. You just need to be close and take each day - and some days each hour - as it comes. Babies that are securely attached with mums who try to tune in and be responsive to their cues grow up confident and with much better developed prefrontal lobes - the clever bits in the brain. For the first months the visual system is very immature and what babies can see and track and understand is limited: I'm surprised they don't cry all day long it must be so strange.

Has GF completed any professionally recognised training in clinical psychology, developmental psychology or paediatric neuropsychology??? I have worked in these setting all my career - never have I passed on - or heard of these routines being passed on by health professionals in these settings.

Enjoy these newborn snuggles. Congratulations xxx

Meringue33 Thu 11-Jul-13 13:37:37

I've read GF and had some useful tips from it. However, regarding the sleep routines, my LO is 6 mo and has only in the last few weeks started going upstairs to sleep at 7pm. He still wakes 1-3 times in the night for a feed/cuddle.

Between around 9 weeks and nearly 6 mo he spent the evenings on my lap feeding and dozing in front of tv (with occasional screaming). He'd sleep in Moses basket from around 11pm-5am (sometimes with a waking).

Before 9 weeks it was just completely mad and unpredictable. IIRC, 6-9 weeks were the toughest so hang in there!

When they are ready to sleep alone, they will. I did try to put him to bed when he was smaller several times but all that would happen is we'd have a miserable time upstairs doing pick up put down when I could have been watching telly and chatting to DP with LO on my lap. He just wasn't ready yet.

I have a friend who still persists with the routines. If her LO is up at 4am and only resettled at 6.45am, she gets up like Gina at 7am. Me in that situation? I go back to bed and we both have a lie in!! No brainer IMO :D

OddSockMonster Thu 11-Jul-13 13:47:22

Instincts are great. That's the one thing I've really learnt when I've looked back in hindsight.

If you want to follow a baby settling method from a book, borrow several from the library and see what suits you and your baby.

Jimmybob Thu 11-Jul-13 21:27:50

What squidgersmummy said...

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