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I wish I enjoyed motherhood a lot more than I do

(16 Posts)
itsmagic999 Tue 26-Mar-13 18:49:47

That's it. I cannot seem to get past feeling irritated and at times downright angry. Yes I enjoy some times and can smile/laugh sometimes but not much. Most of it feels so bloody hard. I feel tremendous guilt for feeling the way I do and for shouting which has been getting better. The book How to Talk is very good but it is the sheer amount of energy you have to have all the time in order to implement it.

I want to feel some joy being with the children and at times I do but two children almost 4 and just turned 5 is bloody hard.

SizzleSazz Tue 26-Mar-13 18:50:54

I went back to work part time and enjoy motherhood much more now smile

Mine are 6&4 BTW

SizzleSazz Tue 26-Mar-13 18:52:58

Oh and we spent 5 hours just going to the library and Pizza Hut today. Not sure how, but we had a lovely time doing not a lot.

itsmagic999 Tue 26-Mar-13 19:08:51

Thank you. Yes I wish. had one back to work. We are abroad so that is difficult, but hopefully next yr when they are both in school I can at least look for work.

BaconAndAvocado Tue 26-Mar-13 20:08:31

OP I completely an utterly understand how you feel. My DCS are 15, 6 and 4 and I've had times when I've wanted to run away (on my own, obviously!)

All I can say is that it does eventually get easier. Hang in there and cherish the good moments smile

itsmagic999 Wed 27-Mar-13 13:18:39

I would like to believe you. I am taking out my anger on the 5 yr old who is much more wilful and with whom I become annoyed very easily. This is then obviously a vicious circle.

The noise from the two of them I sometimes find unbearable. I have just been very rough with the 5 yr old as she was doing something annoying and would not stop. I feel hopeless sometimes and cannot seem to get passed it.

kday Wed 27-Mar-13 13:41:51

Not much in the way of advice, but just wanted to empathise and say you're not alone. I am finding my kids totally exhausting and overwhelming at the moment (they are 5, 3 and 1). Can you get any time to yourself? Mums I know who seem to cope the best are outside the home sometimes - either doing part-time work or just doing something for themselves (a class, the gym etc). I am determined to try that (as soon as I can get the 1 and 3 year olds to let go of my legs and stop screaming anytime I try to leave the house without them!).

Lulabellarama Wed 27-Mar-13 13:46:35

No real advice, but I know how you feel.
I often think that if I'd known the reality of raising children I'd probably not have had them. For me it's their constant bickering that really grinds me down. And the moaning. And the stupid noises.
I DO love them, but thats not always enough, is it?

cleangreens Wed 27-Mar-13 13:52:56

I'm with you.

I have twin boys of 10 and they drive me to distraction most of the time. I'm too old for all this nonsense, hate the noise and oh god yes the bickering and behaving like muppets half the time.

It is very hard work but I do love them very much (esp when they are not here or asleep grin)!

cleangreens Wed 27-Mar-13 13:54:11

Lord yes the showing off and stupid noises esp when they have friends around confused!

I sound like a right old curmudgeon but some of us are born earth mothers and some of us are Just Not.

nananaps Wed 27-Mar-13 13:55:21

Oh Good God op i get what you are saying 100% and agree and felt the same.

It was not at all what i signed up for and i had not anticipated that side of being a parent. Didnt cope well.

Turned out i had PND, didnt pick it up till my son was nearly 3. I thought i was just shit, shattered and ungrateful.

So much easier as my son got older. I do still struggle with the silly noises, mess, loudness and moaning, but have learned to cope better.

Can i ask if you ever get a break from them? I didnt and it would have made a massive difference to just to round Tesco on my own every now and again!

juneau Wed 27-Mar-13 14:00:03

I really agree with how important it is to carve out some time for yourself so you can have a sense of yourself again. It's so easy to feel bored, ground down, irritated and just fed up when you're just taking care of small DC and a house.

What do you love to do? Is there any way you can find time and/or money to do it? Can you and your DP agree a rota that allows you x nights out while he babysits, for instance. Sometimes all it takes is a few small things - a gym class, a book club, the chance to go out with a friend or have a date night with your DP, a day shopping, etc. Once you get into the swing of going out again regularly and seeing other people it becomes a rather lovely habit and your life starts to be more fun again.

dogdaysareover Wed 27-Mar-13 14:06:30

So far today ds has poured water over the bed, made a sly grab for the toilet brush -- because that is guaranteed to make mum pay attention -- smeared my lovely make up all over the bedroom, thrown in my estimation, thirty tantrums, refused to nap , grabbed my face and twisted it when i took some banned item off him, kicked, screamed and back arched over anything and everything. It is only 2pm. 6 hours until dh gets home. I often wonder who taf does enjoy this? Dm said the first three years of my life were like working in a salt mine for her but she very much grew into the role. Hope i will do the same.

Tanyaaah Wed 27-Mar-13 19:36:22

I could have written this. Sometimes I hate being at home looking after a toddler and a baby, I am having a particularly bad week though.
Today we were all crying for quite a lot of the time. Seriously considering a full time job but think I'd regret it.

mysweetie Sun 31-Mar-13 16:59:06

lol,. I feel you too,. though I only have one now but with my nephews things are a lots different..making me streesed-out,,but if it's only my DD things are not like that.

pamelat Mon 01-Apr-13 22:51:31

I know what you mean, just posted re shouting as a thread before reading this

I love my children whole heartedly but do struggle with them, especially with both of them. One I can cope with.
I work part time which helps

Dd is 5 and I worry as I see in her and hear her say things to protect/please me and I want her to be oblivious to my irritability sad

Ds is nearly 3 and his behaviour is largely awful sad it's driving me insane and he doesn't sleep nor eat well

I feel terrible guilt for not loving every moment of the days with them

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