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How to stop biting!

(13 Posts)
CrackerJackShack Wed 20-Feb-13 10:49:48

My 14 month old loves to bite everything, especially me and DH. Any ideas on how to stop this?

He also loves to scream at the top of his lungs. Any ideas there?

Wossname Wed 20-Feb-13 13:28:17

No advice but watching to see if you get any! My 10 month old bites me constantly, no anger or anything, just keeps lunging at me with excitement then biting me. It's like holding a small, chubby shark.

cloudhands Wed 20-Feb-13 16:18:54

great article here, it helped me stop my DD's biting!

Biting, pushing, pulling hair, helping children with aggression

also their no more hitting class, had loads of great information, about why children are aggressive, and how to solve it No more hiitting

Tolly81 Wed 20-Feb-13 20:52:38

My 9mo bites a lot but I'm pretty sure she's too young to do it for the reasons in the article that cloudhands linked and I've noticed she only does ir at certain times. In her case, I'm pretty sure she does it as a sort if hangover from breastfeeding as I've noticed she mainly only does it to me, and mainly only when she is hungry or tired (ie times when she would have previously wanted a bf). I think it also has a bit to do with teething. If anything, I think she thinks she is being affectionate sad I usually try to either give her food/milk or try and get ger to bed. It sometimes helps to just give her something else to bite (especially if she's biting because she's tired). Don't know if any of this is relevant in your 14mo?

EasilyBored Wed 20-Feb-13 22:29:37

DS is the same age and does the exact same things! The biting and hitting has got better recently - we just give a firm 'we do not bite/hit' and put him down or move away from him for a few seconds, he screams for a few seconds at how unfair we are for not letting him smack us in the head with a saucepan, and then we distract him and carry on as before. I think consistency is the key, they don't really 'get' what they are doing is bad, but know that the reaction is always boring and predictable and not fun.

PoppyWearer Wed 20-Feb-13 22:33:47

My DC2 is now 18mo but around 12-14mo was a big-time biter and I had the bruises to show for it.

Both of my DCs have also been bitten by other children at nursery.

IME, my DC2 bit when he was teething. When the teeth were through, he stopped. In other words, I found that it passes.

I made it very clear to my DC2 that what he was doing was unacceptable, but luckily he mostly bit me/DH and only once bit DC1 and once another child, when we were there and able to step in.

It's a phase, it passes.

valiumredhead Wed 20-Feb-13 23:20:23

Put the child down somewhere safe and walk away every time they bite - they soon get the message - no talking apart from a firm 'no.'

cloudhands Thu 21-Feb-13 05:29:16

one thing I've found really useful, (based on ideas from the website I linked to Hand in Hand Parenting) is to channel the biting into play, so I give my DD a pillow, and let her bite that, or we play on the bed, and when I see she's about to bite, I flee across the bed, and she chases me. I don't let her bite me, but I turn it into a game full of fun and laughter. Chanelling the aggression into play means it is less likely to turn up in everyday life, like when you are holding your baby and trying to talk on the phone, or other moments when they like to bite you unawares!
I read that traditional rough and tumble play, actually makes children less aggressive, and it is never too early to start some chasing and gentle rough play! (well maybe not newborn!!)
As the article I linked to explains, biting, and other aggressive behaviour, comes from fear, and dealing with the feelings, through listening to our children, when they cry and playing with them to get them laughing, is the best way to get rid of the negative behaviour completely.
The trouble with the traditional firm no and ignore approach, is that it doesn't deal with the feelings underlying the behaviour, in fact it can make behaviour in the future actually worse, because the child feels hurt because they were ignored.

CrackerJackShack Thu 21-Feb-13 07:26:32

He doesn't do it out of aggression. Nine times out of ten he's trying to give us a kiss and he ends up biting us (I don't think he's figured out that you can kiss without biting yet).

teacher123 Thu 21-Feb-13 07:31:34

My 10mo is going through a bit of a bitey phase, but only with me. We've just stopped breastfeeding and as a PP said, when he's tired or hungry, he lunges for me! I'm getting quite nimble at avoiding and just distract him or give him some milk and that seems to be working. It makes you a bit jumpy though I find, those little teeth are sharp and pointy!

cloudhands Thu 21-Feb-13 07:44:26

Hi crackers, aggression is a harsh word I know, but it was it is deep down I think, my DD wasn't being really angry or aggressive, she's a bit too young for that I think, but the fun games stopped the biting.

CrackerJackShack Thu 21-Feb-13 07:51:26

We play with him all the time. It's usually while we're playing that he tries to kiss us and bites us.

cloudhands Thu 21-Feb-13 08:25:51

Hi Cracker, that's perfect then, just keep dodging the bites, and reacting in a playful way, it's okay to set limits playfully, you don't need to be harsh. Maybe make it into a joke, pretend to be annoyed that sort of thing, anything that gets lots of giggles helps him relax and release the tension behind the biting.
He may get even more enthusiastic about trying to bite, and try it even more in the play, but after enjoying the laughter and connection with you for a while, you may find that the biting subsides at other times.
It's great to play with him in this way, because then it makes it much less likely that he'll go onto bite and be aggressive towards other kids when he gets a bit older.

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