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What is the BEST parenting book you have read?

(28 Posts)
Timetoask Wed 06-Feb-13 11:17:58

I think I am in need of a ?refresher course?? I am not interested in books covering the baby phase, or books that focus on naughtly behavior, naughty corners or how to make sure your child eat well..

I want some to the point advice of helping DS (6) with being assertive (but without loosing his temper), how to handle friendship/playground issues, and generally how to help him grow with great of emotional intelligence.

For lots of people these things are natural, not for me. Can someone recommend a really good book/s I can read please?

afterdinnerkiss Wed 06-Feb-13 11:24:16

The Successful Child by Dr. Sears. It covers from birth to teens with insight and understanding. Really lovely and makes complete sense.

SignoraStronza Wed 06-Feb-13 11:24:52

Dr Sears 'The Baby Book'
Some of it was a bit ott and I wouldn't describe what I do with dcs as 'attachment parenting' as I don't follow a particular child rearing philosophy but it really helped me understand why babies and toddlers do (or don't) do the things they do and was very informative.

SignoraStronza Wed 06-Feb-13 11:26:41

Sorry op, just read back your post and realised your dc is 6. Would still second another's suggestion and have a look at other Sears books though.

Timetoask Wed 06-Feb-13 11:27:15

Thank you both...
I am so sorry for all my tying mistakes!

Dr. Sears is a clever man then!

choceyes Wed 06-Feb-13 11:27:18

A friend recommended this:
She attended a parenting course and was given this book and they highly recommend it. I haven't read it yet, but planning to do so soon.

choceyes Wed 06-Feb-13 11:27:47

A friend recommended this:
She attended a parenting course and was given this book and they highly recommend it. I haven't read it yet, but planning to do so soon.

stargirl1701 Wed 06-Feb-13 11:29:10

Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph.

Nurture shock by Po Bronson

Toxic Childhood by Sue Palmer

NoraFatimaBuffet Wed 06-Feb-13 11:37:35

'How to talk so kids will listen (and how to listen so kids will talk)' is a good one for improving communication, and would help you achieve the rest of your aims even if it isn't a child development book itself. The techniques have definitely improved things in our house!

Timetoask Wed 06-Feb-13 11:40:37

Thank you for the suggestions.
I read "Raising boys" a few years back and thought it was really good. I am looking for something more tailored to emotional intelligence, communication skills, getting on with people generally....

I will make a note of the books you all suggest and start reading some extract to decide which one to buy.

Zoidberg Wed 06-Feb-13 20:34:44

I think the best is How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk.

I really like Raising Your Spirited Child too but because I could very much relate to it, so recommended if your child is one such as they describe (basically More intense/energetic/loud).

Timetoask Thu 07-Feb-13 10:31:47

Zoidberg, I wouldn't call DS spirited child, but I need to find ways of helping him improve his social skills, communication with other children, assertiveness. You get the idea?

(all the things I am useless at basically).

stargirl1701 Thu 07-Feb-13 12:08:42

Is there a social skills group at his school? Do SALT run any groups in your area?

Sioda Thu 07-Feb-13 20:36:00

Try Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Or I think he also a has a book co authored with someone else about emotional intelligence for kids called Building Emotional Intelligence. Sounds like it might be what you're looking for.

Timetoask Fri 08-Feb-13 09:55:13

stargirl: School don't have a social skills group, they do lots of group playing at school. He is fine at school in general. It's when I see him with other children that I notice his (don't want to call them problems because they are not) notice the things he needs to improve on...

Thank you Sioda.. will have a look at that book.

amazingmumof6 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:47:31

"Child rearing for fun" by Anne Atkins

"Bringing up boys" by Dr. James Dobson

"The power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian

"The five love languages of children" by Graham Chapman

all give fantastic advise based on the teachings of the Bible.

I do suggest to anyone who doesn't care about religion to read the last one, it gives brilliant ideas on how to deal with children of different characters - the practical advice about how to get to know your child better and how to understand what makes them tick is just so insightful.

stargirl1701 Fri 08-Feb-13 13:05:53

Have you heard of Social Stories? They can be a good way of teaching specific social skills in specific situations.

Timetoask Fri 08-Feb-13 14:47:37

stargirl... yes actually, I have heard about them (my eldest has special needs). The ones I have found have been very basic because of the needs of my eldest. Is there a website you could recommend for a child without special needs?

amayingmum: thanks for that list. Which of all those is the best in your view?

amazingmumof6 Fri 08-Feb-13 15:14:11

timetoask - oops, I didn't actually realize you needed help on how to help your child, sorry, I thought you were asking for general advice..

I actually think that if you get to know him better and help him build his confidence, he'll be able to deal with things better at school - if you give him roots, he'll grow his wings.

so for that I'd advise the "love languages" for you

the Dobson book is just general help, not a baby book, but how to help boys to grow and mature and have a good relationship with you up to the teenage years and beyond.

I'll have a think what you are looking for and ask my friends & family - will get back to you if I unearth something that is specific to your needs

Timetoask Fri 08-Feb-13 15:18:28

I know him really well actually. He is very confident. Just needs to improve his communication skills, learn how to socialise better, and how to be more assertive with his ideas.
Sorry if I am not explaining it properly.

amazingmumof6 Fri 08-Feb-13 15:52:32

you said "It's when I see him with other children that I notice his (don't want to call them problems because they are not) notice the things he needs to improve on...

may I ask what kind of things did you notice?

amazingmumof6 Fri 08-Feb-13 15:54:23

I mean something specific.

I think I probably look like I'm really dumb, but I don't think I understand what kind of problems you think there are

Polygon Fri 08-Feb-13 18:58:00

I really liked "Playful Parenting" by Lawrence Cohen - might be helpful in your circumstances (I have similar issues with 7 yr old dd). Maybe though rather than a book for you to read on your own, you could do with books to read together with your ds - and talk about how characters in the book handled things. I am always on the look out for this kind of book - and would be grateful for any suggestions.
We read the "Cat in the Hat" by Dr. Seuss and talk about the situation there. The cat is nice and friendly but is deciding everything and it´s hard for the children to keep control of the situation. They do finally say stop loud and clear - which is good. But then the cat pretends to feel hurt and tries to make them feel like the "meanies" - which is just manipulative. I find it quite an interesting book to discuss: how do the children feel at each point in the book? what could the children have done differently? what should the cat have asked, thought about, said, to be fairer?. That kind of thing.
The Faraway tree books by Enid Blyton have sections where the children are really assertive and where we talked about how brave they were and what a good idea it was.
We have "How to be a friend - a guide to making friends and keeping them" Dino life guide by Brown and Brown. It´s a bit American but I read it with the kids every now and then when we need to discuss issues of difficult behaviour - either by them or done to them.
I´ll come back if I can think of any other examples.

Timetoask Sun 10-Feb-13 05:57:11

Thank you Polygon, that is really helpful. Your ideas sound fantastic. If you can think if anything else pleas come back.
I am off to buy a few books now.

Polygon Sun 10-Feb-13 07:39:53

We get at least the kids books from our local library. Our library isn´t so good on adult parenting books, but they have some...

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