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how often do your school-age dcs see grandparents?

(14 Posts)
familyfun Wed 10-Oct-12 13:25:20

dd has seen much less of her grandparents since starting full-time school. one set come over 1 evening a week and she sees them for an hour before bed. one set fetch her from school once a week and see her for an hour before dinner. one set only sees her in school hols as they work late so if you take away a few weeks holidays they see her less than 10 times a year. they all live within 5 miles.
they would all like to see her more but currently 2 evenings are with grandparents, she does a hobby one evening and then we go places/see friends and weekends are really busy and family time is at the park/swimming, i dont want weekends to be sitting in grandparents houses.

is it selfish to say we dont have time to see them any more than we already do?
it is a shame she doesnt see the one set more than 10 times a year but the others see her once a week, is that enough?

Nelliethehefalump Wed 10-Oct-12 13:28:10

One set we see for a few days at a time, but only 6 or 7 times a year, as they live nealy four hours away. One set see them roughly once a week - two younger ones for a few hours, the school age ne for about an hour. They live less than an hour away.

If they lived close, we might see them both a wee bit more, but as you say, there are only so many hours in the week.

Beanbagz Wed 10-Oct-12 13:30:31

My DCs see my MIL every week as she lives close by and often helps out with school pick up.

They see my parents approx. once a month as they're a 40min drive away so we only get to see them at weekends (when we're not busy). My Mum is always complaining about this but never seems to make the effort of coming to visit us!

I think 10 times a year are probably ok. Maybe you could set up Skype so she could talk to them a bit more?

familyfun Wed 10-Oct-12 13:35:07

shes only 5 so dont think shed chatter much on skype.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Wed 10-Oct-12 13:38:30

One set see my dd's every weekend another hasnt seen them in months. Think they expect me to go there but between school runs work and extra carricular activities and homework there just isn't time. Have made it clear many a time they r welcome whenever they want and have even offered to pay for taxi/ bus. But they just haven't been. Just how it is I guess

takeonboard Wed 10-Oct-12 13:46:39

My PIL see DS twice a year and only if we go there. They just aren't interested and never have been. He is 11 now and because no bond has ever been formed between them he isn't interested in them either......

takeonboard Wed 10-Oct-12 13:47:52

I meant to say they live 10 miles away, we are all in London so transport is good, they are fit, healthy and they drive - so no excuses!

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Wed 10-Oct-12 13:57:20

Mine r less than 3-4 miles take sad they just don't bother then blame me

littleducks Wed 10-Oct-12 13:58:08

My kids do t see their grandparents that much. My parents are still working so it is hard to find time. My mil cones to stay for a few days and will come and help me with childcare bless her.

The relationship is still strong. The kids send texts/letters/emails to my parents who always send a postcard when they go away.

My dh speaks to his mum daily in the phone so will keep her in the loop and she will often chat to kids.

It was in reception dd started to going for sleepovers at mil's house. Often when her older (14) cousin us there which I'd great for everyone.

schoolchauffeur Wed 10-Oct-12 13:58:24

Both sits live 500 miles away- one set we see 3-4 times a year and the other set 6-8 times a year. In each case the relationship is pretty strong- we lived nearer when the DCs were much younger ( very near one set so once a week) and 2 hours from other set so maybe once a month.

My view is it is quality not quantity! Mine are teens now and still really look forward to GPs coming to stay!

takeonboard Wed 10-Oct-12 16:28:02

It is sad wheresmy but I always think that you get out of a relationship what you put into it, which is why my DS is completely uninterested in them and its too late to change that...

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Wed 10-Oct-12 16:30:03

Their loss taken x

PandaG Wed 10-Oct-12 16:32:43

GPs live 3.5 hours away, so DC go to stay for a week about 7 times a year - both sets of GPs are in the same place so they see each set when they go. My Ps come here too maybe 2 or 3 times a year for the weekend. we also go down for perhaps 3 or 4 weekends, so maybe they see each other 12-14 times a year, but for several days each time.

CMOTDibbler Wed 10-Oct-12 16:37:11

Ds sees my parents 8 times a yearish, dhs prob the same, though they'll go much longer periods as they go away for 3 or 4 months at a time.
My parents live 75 miles away, dhs 30.

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