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I am useless at the after school/before bedtime slot.

(9 Posts)
Molehillmountain Wed 26-Sep-12 17:37:52

So here's how it went. Picked up ds from preschool, then dd1 from her after school club. Bumped into friends on the way home so invited them to pop in for a cuppa. Meanwhile, ds had had an accident and was adamant that he didn't want his trousers changed and dd2 decided she was tired and hungry. I realised then that the only way I cope after school really is with telly and getting cross, since I couldn't really do either with guests. And felt really silly for inciting them in when my three are clearly not feeling on top form. Oh-and dd1 was being deliberately awkward and saying and doing stuff to upset ds. I just feel as if I spend no proper time with anyone and fight fires with all three of them. It makes me feel like a useless mother and worried that they'll hate each other when they're older too. And me too.
I realise that that's a bit rambling and incoherent-what I'm after is an idea if everyone else has lovely time after school and if so-how?

Jahan Wed 26-Sep-12 18:00:59

I do but then I pick my kids up at 3.20 and some friends and I let the kids run around after school for a bit. They seem to be a bit calmer after that.
Then its home for snacks and drinks.
I don't have the tv on at all during the week and I think its really helped us interact better. I'm not a smug super mother type but after the initial fall out, we seem to have a much better time without the tv.
They'll play a lot, draw, we talk more, they're willing to help with dinner. We'll look at stuff on the internet or they'll just go on Education City for a bit.
After dinner its getting ready for bed and reading.

Its not always fun and games though especially when they're tired. I've already had an argument with ds1 because he wants to watch Dr Who and I said no as I really want to stick to the no tv rule. He's fine now playing with some toys.

Unfortunately I think your kids are just going to be tired after a long day that involves the after school club. It probably would be better not to have guests over at that time so the kids can wind down properly and then take it from there.
How old are they?

daisybtw Wed 26-Sep-12 18:07:31

I've only got one and I still find it stressful trying to entertain people after school! He's always pretty tired and scratchy, but sometimes I do feel the need to have a mate or two round for a cuppa. I put telly on STRAIGHT AWAY and then head into the kitchen for a chinwag and a cup of tea while ds stares blankly at the screen! I'm rubbish! But sometimes it's important to be able to have some adult conversation while your kids get squarer eyes! Oh, and if my ds refused to change his trousers, I'd put a towel down on the sofa first!

daisybtw Wed 26-Sep-12 18:10:51

Haha! Jahan you are far and away a better mother than I! I think a bedtime routine is REALLY important, but I struggle with the after school bit, particularly when it's raining and the playground's a no go.

Jahan Wed 26-Sep-12 18:41:21

Thanks Daisy but seriously I'm not! I just found things were better with no tv. Ben 10 and the like just seemed to stress them out and they were stroppy and argumentative. I was always shouting at them.
Now I often just leave them to their own devices and they'll entertain themselves and are just less stroppy. Much nicer smile
Plus they go to bed earlier too as they feel they've had loads of play time!

daisybtw Wed 26-Sep-12 18:49:41

Jahan Sounds brilliant! Wine o'clock starts early round yours! And, urgghh, I cannot stand Ben 10, so totally with you there. Mine is an only child and he's an active one! He's 5 and in year 1 at school, so by 4pm he's dead on his feet! Telly is all I can get him to do at the moment. Molehill you have THREE kids! It sounds like they're all pretty young and surely all you can do with three siblings is 'fight fires'. You're not useless at all, just bad timing on this occasion. If your friends are parents too, they'll totally understand and if they're not, hahaaa, they're in for a shock!

Molehillmountain Wed 26-Sep-12 19:08:55

The three kids thing makes me feel as I'd I bit off more than I could chew at the moment. I'm going to start afresh tomorrow, try no telly after school but an activity and to spend ten solid mins with each child before tea time. My view of today may be coloured by the fact that the washing machine is now an ex washing machine sad

MoomieAndFreddie Wed 26-Sep-12 19:13:19

I hate after-school

ds (6) and dd (3) basically just tear around the house. Demanding stuff, arguing and bickering and when they ARE playing together its silliness. the thought of having anyone over, omg...just, No.


I have to admit to putting the tv on in the vain hope they will sit still for more than 30 seconds at a time

then its tea time (they eat about 5, me and DH eat later, once they have gone to bed) , they have their own little table in the kitchen and they just piss about if i leave them to eat on their own so i have to go and stand over them.

so no real advice i am afraid but watching in case anyone else has any words of wisdom

daisybtw Wed 26-Sep-12 20:08:04

I have no words of wisdom unless you count these: Give yourselves a break! Moomie you have 2 kids who you've brought up this far! WELL DONE! And same to you Molehill! Just getting through the day is a major achievement! Sometimes I get a bit down cos I'm on my own with a little boy and I beat myself up about not spending enough time with him or getting cross cos he gets out of bed 5 mins after I've tucked him in, but then I think, actually I'm AMAZING and so is he! Give yourselves a bit of credit. It's hard bloody toil, but all the things about your kids that make you completely mad now are the things you'll be damn proud of when they're older. Just get through the day and have a huge glass of wine after you've finally got them into bed!

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