Hello ladies
I feel like I'm sinking. I'm struggling with heavy depression and very destructive OCD.
I realise that my issues with OCD are irrational but there are somethings that I feel are just common sense. My in laws are a nightmare with hygiene. They never wash their hands after going to the toilet and are very blase about cleanliness to do with the dog and going out and about. I found this hard before I became a mum but now it's a nightmare. I've got a real fear of leaving my 9 month old with anyone at the moment. I'd rather not go out as it's just too upsetting. There are several occasons coming up where I should really let the IL babysit but I feel like I'm going to lose it. I really can't deal with other people looking after my baby. ESPECIALLY when I know they'll be so slack with cleaning. If I even mention this to my DH then we have an almighty row. I'm still uncomfortable leaving baby with my mum but not as much and I know it's unfair one set of granparents getting more time but I can't rationalise my fears. It's exhausting not letting anyone help. I don't know what to do. My marriage is struggling. Since the birth I can't cope with any sort of contact with my DH, even holding hands or a hug. I'm so cold with him but I really don't want to be. He's being so patient, he even keeps trying to arrange 'dates' but this means a sitter...in our house (which is OCD meltdown) and I just break down in fear and exhaustion. I really don't know what to do..I just want to run away from everyone.
Thank you for reading this, just finding someone to talk to would help so much.
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IL trouble and OCD
12 replies
caribouyou · 19/09/2012 11:20
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