This is more of a rant as I'm fairly certain I'm NBU, but just typing it out is getting rid of my frustration!
Back story is that last weekend, DH went on a lads day out and was away from 8am until 10pm. He did take the two days before off, so we could have a family time, but the Saturday was a drinking day, so he had Sunday "off" from his usual of helping me look after DS (barring a couple of 5 minute spots where I nipped to the loo etc), and got (from me) a lovely cooked brunch and I made sure there was lots of "nibbly" stuff for him to eat until proper dinner (stew so it could be frozen if he didn't fancy it) after DS went to bed. Also on this day off, I had to cope with a burst car tyre, unhelpful garages and a lost locking wheel nut key.
I didn't mind doing any of this as I knew that I was having a night out last night (Friday) and was likely to be a bit "fragile" today, so DH agreed that he would deal with DS from when he got in on Friday night (so I could apply the polyfilla!), do his bath alone (normal a joint event) and then look after him during the day today. Basically, a trade off - his day out for my night out.
This morning at 4am when DS kicked off (teething), DH did get up and deal with him. I did get a long lie (until 7am). and he took DS out at about 8.30am until about 9.45am so I could have a long shower, breakfast etc in peace.
However, when he came in, I was given DS to put down for his nap (including dealing with a dirty nappy), as "I'm better at it", he then asked me to feed DS lunch so he could watch Football Focus, and then when I was eating my lunch, DS was around my feet playing and pullling on me, and when I asked DH to remove him so I could eat in peace, I got a look as if I'd just suggested chaining DS up like a dog. I only wanted to eat my pie in peace!
Then, for the afternoon nap, he totally broke the usual sleep training method and DS took a good 45 minutes to go down as DH was patting him, shushing him and generally getting DS more worked up. I eventually gave up on finishing my lunch as I could hear the screams downstairs and had to put DS down myself. If he'd just done the nappy, had a quick hug and left him, DS would have grumbled for a few minutes, settled himself and gone to sleep.
And now, I've had an email from my work (I work from home and work are exceedingly lenient regarding when I work, but it works both ways in that if I can, and there's an issue, I work when I'm strictly "not" working IYSWIM) so I'm doing a bit of work while DS is snoring. DH has therefore handed me the monitors and gone for a nap as "I'm up anyways"!
I really don't want to pick a fight, he's a great dad and very good when he is home and he works very hard to ensure I don't have to work full time, but AIBU to have wanted a "day off" where (again barring a few minutes here and there for toilet trips etc) DH took control?
I think I'm feeling like I never get any time away, any time DS is asleep, I'm either working, cooking dinner, cleaning, tidying etc and I just don't seem to have time for me! I know DH works hard (and I appreciate it!) but it's getting to the point where I envy him his work commute - just because he gets peace!
Oh hell, it's not about DH at all really. It's about me. I need to schedule some me time. Okay so now I know I'm NBU, but I need to be more about the ME.
Oh, and if you got this far - thanks for reading!
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To want some time for me?
16 replies
Fuzzled · 03/09/2011 14:38
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