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DD is a bully

(9 Posts)
StrandedBear Wed 20-Jul-11 15:33:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChutesTooNarrow Wed 20-Jul-11 16:27:02

Why is it happening? Perhaps because it is completely normal for that age. A degree of helicoptering and stopping/distracting should be expected really. And if something does slip through the net then a firm 'no biting' should do. I would think timeout to be completely pointless as she won't have a blinking clue what you are doing. Just like she has no idea that the world doesn't revolve around her yet. She will be learning that but will learn best if she sees the behaviour you expect modeled for her; perhaps you need to sit on the floor and play with her and other children for a bit.

Does she understand the concept 'be nice'? I imagine it is more that she has seen you gently cuddle and play with babies and understands this is what you do. So when you tell her 'be nice to older children' she doesn't know what you mean. I think you have terribly high expectations for your baby, perhaps reading up on toddler development might help?

btw she isn't a bully. She doesn't have 'attitude'. I think it is a bit sad you are describing her like this.

OTheHugeManatee Wed 20-Jul-11 16:32:06

I'll probably get disembowelled for this, but I think going for the older children shows a certain degree of courage grin

Sooner or later some larger kid will thump her. She'll learn. Meanwhile I think labelling her as a 'bully' is a bit strange when she's only 16 months old and only attacking children who are older, larger and stronger than her.

Jojay Wed 20-Jul-11 16:36:24

She is not a bully.

She is 16 months old.

It's a phase.

When she does it, remove her from the situation, say 'No' firmly, and distract her with something else.

Any other 'discipline' at that age is pointless, she won't understand.

A degree of helicoptoring may be required to keep other kids safe, but you won't be doing it forever, I'm sure. smile

reelingintheyears Wed 20-Jul-11 16:42:51

I thought you'd written 16 years.

16months cannot be a bully.

Summatontoast Wed 20-Jul-11 16:43:53

OP you are not alone, my DD at this age acted in a very similar way and I had to keep a very close eye on her at playgroup or similar situations. Keep doing as you are doing, distracting, removing and she will learn and grow out of it. She is not a bully, she is being a toddler! My sister gave me Toddler Taming to read at the time (it was several years ago), but if I remember rightly I found it useful.

nojustificationneeded Wed 20-Jul-11 17:10:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beamur Wed 20-Jul-11 17:14:16

Credit to you though for noticing the effect her behaviour has on others, there are gazillions of threads on MN moaning about Mums who turn a blind eye to their thug babies!

Doitnicelyplease Wed 20-Jul-11 21:14:51

My DD was a bit like this from 18 months or so, I know what you mean by 'bully' it seems like all the other toddlers are playing nicely and yours is crashing around like a bull in a china shop!

My DD is 2.10 now and is growing out of it, she can play really nicely most of the time (is very sociable, loves making friends) then just decided to push another kid who could be 2/3/4 years older. I find I just have to pay REALLY close attention and be ready to say "that's not nice, we don't push/hit/take a toy".

Part of the problem is my DD loves rough and tumble play, eg she wouldn't cry if another kid shoved her, so she finds it hard to understand what she has done wrong.

When they are older you can start to explain that you are going somewhere and tell them how you expect them to behave.

My DD will get one warning and then after that I use time out, if the behaviour goes on then we leave to go home.

Your DD is a bit young for that, so I agree that intervention and distraction are you main resources right now.

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