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Tips for not swearing in front of the dc's??

(29 Posts)
StartAllOver Wed 13-Jul-11 18:48:18

Please help me i've been trying to sort my lanuage out for last few months but i'm so deep in the habbit!

Ds is now 21 months and starting to copy me so would love any advice on breaking my terrible habbit as he's already said bugger at nursery and i could have died on the spot of embarressment!

Thank you!

monkoray Wed 13-Jul-11 18:51:59

Will be watching this thread as I have ads if the same age and my langue is appalling.
My BIL fined himself £1 every swear and he kicked the habit after a month of being very broke - maybe I should do that

allhailtheaubergine Wed 13-Jul-11 18:59:08

Just don't do it.

You wouldn't do it if you were having tea with the Queen. You can control it.

Octaviapink Wed 13-Jul-11 19:12:41

Tea with the Queen probably wouldn't involve the levels of frustration/ horror/ exhaustion that a day with a toddler generally does.

We invented/found words to replace swearwords. Thing is, using rude words for emphasis or as an expletive are a part of speech and it's very hard to simply replace a part of speech (it'd be like trying to do without adjectives or something). We have flipsticks, fippin X and various others. Don't try and stop swearing, just replace the rude words with non-rude ones!

StartAllOver Wed 13-Jul-11 19:20:23

If i had the self discipline to put £1 in the pot everytime i swore i'd just use that self discipline to not swear in the first place!!!grin

I have thought of replacing swear words with something safe, however when being said from a childs mouth it still sounds terrible...maybe i wasnt using safe enough words!!

brehon Wed 13-Jul-11 21:08:53

We try substituting words. Favourites seem to be fudge, fiddlesticks, Judus Priest and my DD1 favourite = shitake mushrooms.

ASByatt Wed 13-Jul-11 21:12:28

' i could have died on the spot of embarressment! '

Right, so think for a minute, really dwell on how that felt.

Imagine how you'd feel if parents were not wanting their DC to play with him because of his inappropriate language? (I'm not saying that they'd be right, I'm just trying to build up the horror for you!)

Alternatively, imagine that you are being filmed for a prenting video. How would you want people to see you?

StartAllOver Wed 13-Jul-11 22:05:01

I'm cringing just thinking of it!!

very good tips ASByatt, thank you shall have a bash 2mo, and report back to let you all know how it went!!

JamieAgain Thu 14-Jul-11 06:10:40

"Rats!" is a good substitute. Feels quite satisfying.

CheerfulYank Thu 14-Jul-11 06:23:36

I say rats, oh shoot, Brother Tucker blush , etc...

kreecherlivesupstairs Thu 14-Jul-11 07:27:55

Bumcakes or blimey charlie. I can swear for England but would prefer DD not to.

purepurple Thu 14-Jul-11 07:36:48

Try saying it your head, rather than out loud. Or muttering it through clenched teeth.
Or counting to 10 to diffuse the need to swear.
Or using funny words instead, such as 'my giddy aunt' or 'fiddlesticks'. It's really not that hard. I am around children all day as a nursery nurse and have never sworn in front of them. Once you start thinking about it more, the easier it will be not to swear.

Tollund Thu 14-Jul-11 07:41:36

But haven't there been studies showing that if you hurt yourself, swearing alleviates the pain to some extent? (That's my excuse) grin

BlueChampagne Thu 14-Jul-11 13:02:03

Agree with purepurple, the more you do it, the easier it is. Like saying no to booze in pregnancy!

Think of some words that swear words can be morphed into at the last minute:
Fu - ooey
Sh - erbet
I'm sure you'll be more imaginative!

amigababy Thu 14-Jul-11 13:07:45

Sorry I don't get it. Just don't swear. it's not necessary (unless hammer meets thumbnail variety) It isn't normal conversation.

Goldensnitchberry Thu 14-Jul-11 13:09:51

No I don't get it either - just don't do it. I'm a teacher and I have always managed not to swear in front of my pupils (in spite of much provocation grin).

thefirstMrsDeVere Thu 14-Jul-11 13:30:21

My DD and DS1 never ever ever heard me swear. DS2 didnt for the first 3 years of his life.

But my others do now. It comes out and I hate it. It could be worse and I do try but sometimes it seems to explode out of me. Not at them but around them.

I never thought I would be like this. But then I never thought a lot of things would happen.

There is always the 'documentary' trick. Imagine you are being followed by cameras for a parenting programe.

It is a habit. Trouble is mine is fueled by such deep seated fury I am not sure if I can break it.

Course I can. I will. Give me time.

springboksaplenty Thu 14-Jul-11 13:40:47

I am also attempting to control myself. I am rather sweary at home. My favourite substitute is 'mother fudger' which actually sounds a lot more filthy. It has taken off as an alternative cuss at my dh's work.

I did say sugarmelighties at work and my colleagues fell about laughing (I may on occasion be slightly sweary at work).

StartAllOver Thu 14-Jul-11 19:43:55

lol sugarmelighties!! i love it!!

Its all well and good for everyone just saying just dont do it... but if its a habit then its much easier said than done...bit more support would be nice!

I dont swear AT my ds (just to point that out) and i have noticed i managed not to swear at my slimming world meeting today when dirtbag should have been having a nap and was instead attempting to scream the place down so looks like its a self control issue when its just me and him and no1 to impress!!
fake film crew it is then!!!

I was trying to think of the words i wouldnt mind my ds repeating but they all seem really...old fashioned/not words i would ever just come out with..any tips for that??

smile

amigababy Thu 14-Jul-11 20:48:24

okay, sorry, here goes.
I managed to give up a nearly-30-year habit last year, in just a weekend. I read a book called Habit Control in a Day by Nathan H Azrin. It's on Amazon and though the main 4 habits it describes are not mine, or yours, it worked, when I thought nothing ever would. I just applied the principles that it gives for the 4 habits in the books, after one reading on a Friday night, and by Monday the habit had vanished. Voila!
It is quite pricey on Amazon now - don't think it was as much when I got a copy. If you want to borrow and try it, pm me and I'll post it, if you could post it back when you've finished with it.

SeaChelles Thu 14-Jul-11 20:50:44

I'm terrible sometimes and can have a mouth like a sewer!! Plus I've just started working with 15 men 3 days a week which aint gonna help!!!

DS is 10 months and am trying to nip it in the bud now!!! F*ck, sh*t, b*gger......maybe if I let it all out here....! grin!

Alicadabra Thu 14-Jul-11 21:02:30

Another vote here for substitute swearwords. "Rats" is very satisfying, as is "Oh, Nuts". I do use "Darn" which is, as you say, a bit old fashioned, but actually a couple of people have said it's rather endearing (then again, they also have kids so understand why I avoid swearing).

On a slight tangent, when I was young, my sis and I played a computer game called "Frak" and used to wind up our mother by using "Frak" as a swearword. It's close enough to be almost misheard (hence I don't use it as an alternative now!) but not actually rude, so she couldn't get cross with us!

Sadly it can be v hard to avoid DCs hearing bad language altogether. I used to live in London and would get v v angry with people on the tube saying "F***" eighteen times a sentence right next to my DC. angry

whomovedmychocolate Thu 14-Jul-11 21:05:35

I make myself sing whenever I feel that stream of expletives coming out so it's fuccclllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaalalallalallalala etc.

Bollloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodododoodododo

StartAllOver Thu 14-Jul-11 21:41:11

ha ha to singing!!

and amigababy sorry I didnt mean that last post to come across as rude. I have just had a scout about for that book online, £18 for a book..ouch! v.much out of price range atm. If i fail miserably then would you mind sending it? I'd reinburse you for postage!

'Rats' sounds like a gooden!!

amigababy Thu 14-Jul-11 22:30:32

no need to reimburse if you want it, just send it back when done with - let me know if you fancy it. habits are funny things aren't they?

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