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Am I being ungrateful or overprotective?

(4 Posts)
Ivortheengine8 Mon 11-Jul-11 19:15:49

Hi, Wasn't sure where to post this sorry.

I will give as short a picture as possible.

I met this girl at our local toddler group a little while ago. Having recently moved to the area, I had wanted to meet some people and make friends.
Anyway, this girl hadn't been here long either and she obviously seems a bit lonely. She has a 9 month old and is a single parent at 21 y/o although she does have a partner who is not the baby's father!
Anyway I am quite a bit older,married and have a 20 month old. I am expecting again in October.
Anyway she has been around to our house a few times and had coffee and had the children play together. My dd is fine with her.
This girl keep offering almost constantly to take my DD out for walk to give me a break. I said ok once last week and they walked to the park with her DS. I tried to phone a couple of times and she didnt answer which freaked me out but she did call back about 20 mins later and put my mind at rest.
Anyway, last week on the way back from toddler we popped into somewhere for lunch and I went to the loo after and she said they would wait outside.
I went out after and they were halfway up the road and she wasnt holding my DD's hand. I know its difficult with a pram but it is very busy around here and I usually use reins or keep hold of her hand all the time on the roads.

Anyway, I am sure she just means well but I keep getting texts everyday do we want to meet up, do this together and do I want her to take DD out to give me a rest.

Believe me I would LOVE a rest as I am getting tired now at 26 weeks. But I'm not sure I have enough trust to do this. Its not far for them to go to the park or up the road but I just feel uneasy about it.
My dd is very good with other people and its not that I don't trust this girl per se, she is nice enough and I think just lonely and probably bored but I am not sure she would think about all the things that come with having a toddler.

What would you do?

brehon Mon 11-Jul-11 20:39:47

I understand that you have no problem with this girl as such but if you are not 100% sure then trust your instincts. As you say, her child is only 9 months old, maybe when you are having a coffee you could discuss what a 20 month old is like, wandering, needing eyes in the front, back and side of your head. I think she may be lonely, it's hard with little ones but if you need a break occasionally would you be able to find a child minder for a couple of hours a week (finances permitting). If you enjoy her company and you think you are friends, then maybe giving her some insight into some safety issues diplomatically might help both of you.

BoysRusxxx Mon 11-Jul-11 20:53:25

Could you take her up on the offer and then when she comes to collect dd, have her ready in reigns!?

Ivortheengine8 Mon 11-Jul-11 21:27:51

Thanks Brehan, I think the safety thing is probably my biggest worry, just because it is so busy around here and that I know she needs at least one hand on her own pram and one hand free for DD which can be quite difficult I would imagine especially if DD has an almighty tantrum (which she does now at times) I find her physically quite challenging even being her mum when she blows one and to have her own baby to look after too I think is quite a lot to ask. I agree with the childminder thing because at least they are qualified and have some experience of it.
Boys, yes I could do, DD usually has her reins on anyway before we leave the house, but even with those it can be difficult if she gets tired and doesnt want to walk anymore etc.

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