16mo in a RAGE after naps

[ShushBaby]

My little girl (16mo) has 1 nap a day or sometimes two, depending on when she wakes and what we're up to. She goes down, usually without a fuss, in her cot. She's always been a cat napper and never sleeps for more than 90 mins at a time in the day. Sometimes much less.

For a while now she's been waking up and SCREAMING for a good ten mins or more after her nap. Whether I go in and pick her up, leave her in her cot and stay with her, leave her alone, take her to her toys- it makes no difference. It's like she is seeing red, which is weird because she's usually very jolly and laid back.

I can only assume she's still tired- today she woke up after 40 mins and was especially bad. Now she is wandering about saying 'snooze' every now and again but I know she would be incensed if I put her back to bed.

I did a mumsnet search about this and now feel quite angsty because the general concensus is that toddlers of this age usually have 2 hour naps in the afternoon ! So now I'm even more convinced that the screeching is down to still being tired. But maybe I'm wrong. And how the hell do you extend a toddler's nap?!

Sorry this is rather rambling. Any tips/anyone been in the same boat?

ps She sleeps through 7pm-6am/6.30am at night

[ShushBaby]

Oops how did this end up in AIBU? sorry should be in Sleep

[mamalovebird]

my ds who is 17mo and is exactly the same. Normally a really laid back happy go lucky boy but after his nap in the afternoon he is really grumpy and tearful for about 10-20 minutes. He only has one sleep a day and has never slept for more than an hour at home, although he sleeps longer at nursery - about 90 mins.

I wondered if maybe he just has a stiff neck or something as he sleeps in the same position and maybe it just hurts and that why he's so bad temepered. I offer him food and a drink and he always pushes it away.

This has only started recently so I'm guessing it's a phase. I just sit him down next to me and let him calm down, don't try and engage him or shove toys in his face, just sit there with my arm around him and let him come round. He normally lets me know when he's feeling okay again.

He also sleeps through from 7pm-6.30am. Let's hope it's a phase!

[mamalovebird]

oh, and if you gain any tips on how to extend his nap then I'm all ears. I have never been able to get ds back down - once he's up, he's up!

[mamalovebird]

*her nap - sorry

[smee]

Some never do the two hour sleep thing. I used to give DS something small when he woke - piece of fruit or a few raisins and that helped lots, though was never sure if it was just the distraction or the food itself.

[ShushBaby]

mamalovebird that is exactly like my dd- down to pushing away a drink when offered.

I have found that I get the least amount of screeching if I sit by her cot for a bit while she gets it out of her system. But I am worried that she tired for the rest of the day (certainly she is grumpier in the afternoon than the morning).

euphemia she went down straight after lunch today so I assume she wasn't hungry, though I have wondered that on other days, because she often doesn't make it to lunch before her nap.

Thanks for the replies despite me posting this in wrong section!

[ShushBaby]

smee had not thought of offering raisins or similar- they are a fail safe distraction method in other circs so may try them after a nap.

mamalovebird of course I'll share tips. Half the time I'm very accepting that my dd is just not a big napper; the other half I'm all neurotic and worried because she isn't doing what she 'should' be doing!

[smee]

A woman on a bus one day saw DS screeching and told me it was low sugar. Was a fantastic tip off, and did make a massive difference. Hope it works for you too.

[mamalovebird]

I think just letting him get it out of his system is the best thing. He's normally okay after he calms down (although his temper is normally shorter now you mention it but I just put that down to him growing increasingly more tired as the day wears on).

There is no way I'd get him down again for another sleep in the day and as nursery only do the one sleep in the day I like to keep his routine consistent. I've just put it down to him needing the lesser amount of sleep on the 12-15 hours scale.

I just hope it's a phase as it's only recently started.

[CurlyBoy]

Our 21 month old has been like this since he came to us at 18 months. He only sleeps about 10 1/2 hours at night and has a 2 to 3 hour nap in the morning. He screams when he gets up after 2 or less and we've figured out it's because he's still sleepy. This is why we cut out the afternoon nap as he never really comes around and is NEVER happy afterwards. The only things we've been able to do to lengthen his naps (and sleep) is to close his door to cut down on noise and put up an ultra dark blind on the window. We also give him time in his cot to come around if he wakes up yelling. He usually calms down after 10 or 15 minutes. We then go get him and he's pretty sunny after that. If he wakes up after too short a nap we try giving him his special cuddly toy and tell him to go back to sleep. It works about half the time.

[mamalovebird]

smee - never thought of that. I get really grumpy and faint/shaky if I've not eaten. Is that kind of thing hereditary I wonder?

the other half I'm all neurotic and worried because she isn't doing what she 'should' be doing!

haha - too true!

[mamalovebird]

My DS still has his nap in his buggy, so I may try moving him to his bedroom as it's darker there and see if that helps. He's not very good at waiting once he's woken though - goes ballistic as soon as he's awake to be lifted out and get going.

shushbaby do you have blackout blind? I wonder from Curly's email if that might help get her to sleep a bit longer?

[LucretiaInShadows]

Hello Shushbaby. The food idea sounds like a good one - a lot of people feel funny if they haven't eaten for a while.

I really, really can't sleep in the daytime. I wake up feeling awful, irrationally bed-tempered and unhappy, and it takes a good while to shake off. Might that be it? I don't know what to advise, taking it as read that she needs the sleep, but maybe it's just one of those things.

[mummytime]

My Ds used to do this, I would try to get him to eat a banana asap, it gets some quick sugar into the system, then try a drink. If she is eating just before the nap you might want to think about what she is eating, is it something slow to digest? Is it actually making her tired (potatoes can do this)?

BTW how much sleep children need is very very variable (just like most other things).

[FlubbaBubba]

Raisins or some such at the ready - definitely helps. Cuddle her while feeding her/getting her to feed herself (depending on her mood).

When my ones were that age, they slept for about 1.5 hrs after lunch. Think it's more a blood-sugar level rather than a tiredness level.

This Stage, Too, Shall Pass :)

[ShushBaby]

Thanks flubba, sometimes it's good to remember that!

[mummymeister]

All 3 of mine stopped day time naps at 1 yo. if i tried to put them down for a nap then they would sleep for ages and wake up screaming and in a temper. with the first one i just got so fed up i kept her going all day and just gave her some quiet time in the afternoon with me reading or a tape of nursery rhymes. tbh if i had a nap now i would wake up as miserable as sin and stay like that til bedtime so can't blame my kids for being the same! as other posters have said all kids vary and yours whilst they might go to sleep out of habit might not actually need it in the same way as others do. as with all things to do with kids, give something new a try and if it don't work then try something else. Do agree with the snacks idea the calories to size proportion needs to be greatest in the smaller ones so good old banana's, raisins, bread and jam...

[Wallace]

My dd used to do this.

I think the low sugar explanation might explain it.

[MyNameIsInigoMontoya]

My DD sometimes does this, and I think it is usually when she could do with sleeping longer but woke too early and can't get back over. Also, it often seems worse when she was particularly tired before the nap.

So it might help if you can get her down for her nap earlier. Also, I found with DD that she (paradoxically) often naps for a shorter time when she is overtired, but is more likely to have a good long nap if I get her down earlier. So an earlier nap might help to extend it too.

I wondered about low blood-sugar too, but my DD shoves away anything I offer her just after waking until she has calmed down. So whether it's that or something else, food doesn't seem to be a magic cure.

The only thing I've found that sometimes works to calm her faster when she is really bad, is taking her out into the garden for a walk around (I usually have to carry her out as she's too busy thrashing around and screaming to walk at first!). Once we have had a good look at the plants she often seems to calm down, quicker than if I just try cuddles, food etc. Looking out of the window can help too but isn't as effective as actually going outside.

Am sure it's a phase anyway, I think DS sometimes did this too but grew out of it

[Fleurdebleurgh]

My 27month old still wakes up from some naps with a rage and only calms down after a biscuit or similar.

I had never guessed it may be due to his blood sugar levels, which is stupid really as he was born with hyperinsulinism and we were watching his sugar levels like a hawk at times

[EmmaBemma]

It def is low sugar, my eldest used to do that exact thing too when she was a toddler, she would be inconsolable until I could get her to eat something.

[trumpton]

I used to leave a sippy cup and biscuit where Ds could reach it through his cot bars and leave him to chomp it and become human(ish).

He was always a cross patch when he woke up from a nap.

[mumonahottinroof]

my 4yo still does this - we try not to let her nap but she sometimes nods off. I think it's just one of those things you have to ride.

[MamaChocoholic]

ds1 (3) still needs to be sat in front of the tv with a biscuit when he wakes from a nap. it's the only way we found to keep him calm.

not convinced by the low blood sugar argument - he's fine when he wakes in the morning, when he's obviously not eaten for a lot longer. but feed and distract with tv are my only tips.